Page 2 | overweight personal trainer?

taylorswift1989 · 2025-09-25T11:55:42+00:00

I recently joined a gym. It's one of a chain and it's great for what I need, but I've noticed that two of the personal trainers who work there are very overweight. All the female staff look fit and healthy, but the male staff look like they are in need of some personal training themselves. (No one will be able to answer this, but I wonder if the standards are different for men and women. The women look exactly how you would expect fit and strong women to look - a variety of physiques for sure, but clearly they are fit and agile. I wonder if obese women would be employed at this gym, even if they had the qualifications?) Is it unreasonable to think that personal trainers should look like they have the ability and discipline to achieve the goals that their clients are working towards? I know people come in all shapes and sizes, and a larger person may be very fit and skilled at certain sports, and/or an excellent teacher, so maybe I am being unfair? But we are talking about people who are obese and who do not look fit or healthy. Even if it doesn't affect their skill at training clients, does it make a difference to how much trust you would put in them to be able to help you towards your fitness goals? YABU - It wouldn't make any difference to me as long as they were qualified and knew their stuff in theory YANBU - It would make me wonder if they had the discipline or ability that they are trying to teach their clients

crumbssonmyface · 26/09/2025 10:25

Kind of depends what their training goals are. My bf is a gym rat/qualified PT but if he’s bulking he will have a stomach on him because he’s actively trying to gain weight. But if you saw him at another point of the year he’d be very in shape. Quite a few people who are body builders or pts struggle with their weight/eating disorders - spoken to a few that say it’s a daily battle sadly

KateMiskin · 26/09/2025 10:17

I am happy with an older trainer who has seen some life.

But I don't want to have a BMI of 29 or 30. It would likely kill me, my GP says. If that is judgement, then yes, i am judgy. i don't care what my colleagues look like, but I do care if my PT is practicing what he or she preaches.

I am afraid I don't have the bandwidth to care about the PT's personal issues. Just like no one cares about my personal issues in my job.

RB68 · 26/09/2025 10:10

I think people need to stop judging by how people look or you perceive them. Many sports coaches are not perfect body specimens but their knowledge, experience and training makes them great coaches. A PT is a coach. I would rather someone who had seen some life than a 22 yr old in perfect fitness/health and with book learnt diet and food info.

Roobarbtwo · 26/09/2025 10:03

KateMiskin · 26/09/2025 10:01

I can usually tell. And OP has made it clear that the trainer in question is not just muscly or large. She's used the word obese and trouble getting up the stairs.

I don't need six packs or a muscle bound look in a PT. But why would I take advice from someone larger than I am who has trouble getting up the stairs? I am 53 and have no trouble getting up stairs.

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She made that clear quite late on in the thread.

KateMiskin · 26/09/2025 10:01

Roobarbtwo · 26/09/2025 09:32

You might find it difficult by looking at someone to tell if they are obese or not given that anyone with a BMI of over 29 falls into that category

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I can usually tell. And OP has made it clear that the trainer in question is not just muscly or large. She's used the word obese and trouble getting up the stairs.

I don't need six packs or a muscle bound look in a PT. But why would I take advice from someone larger than I am who has trouble getting up the stairs? I am 53 and have no trouble getting up stairs.

TheRealGoose · 26/09/2025 10:01

Surprised some folks immediately jumped to thin. When there is a vast area between thin ar one end and obese at the other, which you’re refering to. There is no indication of thinness, but referred ro fit and healthy. Sometimes you hit a sore spot without realising.

for me, I think a personal trainer should be fit and healthy, a bit overweight, fine, but visibly obese, I would be hesitant over. Yes I’d assume they didn’t take their own advice, but I want the advice I’m given to be achievable in terms of goals, and if they can’t achieve it themselves, it would make me wonder how realistic their approach would be.

Woompund · 26/09/2025 09:50

I'd happily train with a large framed 'strongman' type woman - I've seen plenty of women in the gym who lift really heavy whilst carrying some extra fat, that wouldn't bother me. But a trainer who lacks basic fitness - no thanks. I want to be trained by someone who lives what they teach!

rwalker · 26/09/2025 09:48

Logically there appearance has no relation to there knowledge or ability as a trainer
BUT I want to look at the trainer and think your in good shape you know your shit and if I put the work in I can end up looking like you

only a similar note the woman at the doctors who does the weight management side of things is enormous I wouldn’t be able to take her seriously

pinkdelight · 26/09/2025 09:41

In theory it shouldn’t matter as they can teach others, but in reality fitness is hard to maintain and they’re embodying that so it’s a bad advert for their business. If they can’t stay motivated and embody what clients aspire to, they’ll limit their audience a lot.

CandleMug · 26/09/2025 09:36

I know a PT who has run her successful business for about 10 years. She’s not not obese but she’s not slim and toned. I don’t use her but she must be doing something right to get results for her clients.

More than anything I can’t understand why she’s larger when she works out so much. Perhaps her diet is bad.

Roobarbtwo · 26/09/2025 09:32

KateMiskin · 26/09/2025 08:19

I absolutely would not train with either an obese personal trainer or one who made sexual remarks!

You might find it difficult by looking at someone to tell if they are obese or not given that anyone with a BMI of over 29 falls into that category

KateMiskin · 26/09/2025 08:19

I absolutely would not train with either an obese personal trainer or one who made sexual remarks!

Original poster

taylorswift1989 · 26/09/2025 08:10

Thanks all for the discussion. I think I have somewhat changed my view and consider that maybe I am being a bit unreasonable. For me, personally, I felt I wanted a trainer who obviously knows how to train their own body and how they look would be one indication of that - like, the most immediate reference for what they can do as a trainer. But I realise that this is somewhat irrelevant when I'm a woman talking about male PTs anyway - just because they can train their own body doesn't mean they know how to train mine. And the same might apply to a 20 year old woman PT - does she know how to train a body that is perimenopausal with a decades long history of being overweight? So maybe looking at PTs' bodies as highly relevant to their training abilities is actually quite wrongheaded of me.

I can also understand that people might be more comfortable with someone who looks a bit more like they do starting out. I don't feel intimidated by people having fitter bodies than mine, but maybe I would have done when I was younger, and I didn't really think about this until pp mentioned it.

I do think there is probably a limit and if pp actually saw the men I'm talking about, they might be more inclined to agree with my OP! But at the same time, I appreciate that they might be excellent trainers. (Well, one of them I think would be a terrible trainer for me, because of the sexual innuendo in every conversation. But that probably works for some people, too.)

I do still think that it would be much more unlikely to see an obese female PT in a gym. I doubt that a size 24+ woman would be employed there. Maybe I am wrong, but I suspect that if that had been my OP, answers would have been quite different. Anyway, I appreciate the polite and measured conversation here, and how it has changed my perspective. Thanks all.

OP posts:

pokewoman · 25/09/2025 22:38

Roobarbtwo · 25/09/2025 21:43

My ability to train people would be no different whether I was 11 stones or 22 stones. I'm not 22 stones BTW.

What I don't like about discussions like this is that you don't know why someone is fat. I'm currently fat because I broke my shoulder and tore my rotator and then broke my leg within two years of one another. I've also had a really horrible few years in my personal life and I suffer from ptsd which hampered my ability to get in the gym. I may never teach a class again but I'm back in the gym training

(I'm going to leave it there - I think the judgemental comments on this thread have been way too judgemental)

Ps. For the person that said this thread might stop you going back to football coaching - don't let it.

Also. Pts do more or less the same course to get their qualifications - and it's not easy either. People have ability whether they are fat or thin

If folk want to criticise - maybe go and train as a PT yourself - see the graft it takes to get the qualification - and apply it.

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I meant I think he would be good at his job in that some (like me, very fat and very unfit) would potentially see him as a sort of 'look, it really works' kind of thing and could relate to him. I know when I (very briefly!) Went to the gym, I was in awe at some of the very toned, muscular trainers and they were incredibly good trainers, but I think seeing someone who was really big and maybe with a way to go yet, would give me an additional boost, in a 'yasssss if he can do it, I might be able to' kind of way'.

My point, clumsily made, was that the size of a PT absolutely wouldn't put me off because they all have to pass training, all obviously work hard to maintain their fitness, but as a very large person, id probably relate on a more personal level to a PT who wasn't in perfect shape.

Roobarbtwo · 25/09/2025 21:43

pokewoman · 25/09/2025 21:25

One of the school dads became a personal trainer earlier this year. He is visibly and quite significantly overweight. However, hes quite literally half the size he was a couple of yesrs ago. Hed obviously worked - and still working - incredibly hard to lose weight and get fit, and so I would imagine that this makes him good at his job, and also less intimidating

My ability to train people would be no different whether I was 11 stones or 22 stones. I'm not 22 stones BTW.

What I don't like about discussions like this is that you don't know why someone is fat. I'm currently fat because I broke my shoulder and tore my rotator and then broke my leg within two years of one another. I've also had a really horrible few years in my personal life and I suffer from ptsd which hampered my ability to get in the gym. I may never teach a class again but I'm back in the gym training

(I'm going to leave it there - I think the judgemental comments on this thread have been way too judgemental)

Ps. For the person that said this thread might stop you going back to football coaching - don't let it.

Also. Pts do more or less the same course to get their qualifications - and it's not easy either. People have ability whether they are fat or thin

If folk want to criticise - maybe go and train as a PT yourself - see the graft it takes to get the qualification - and apply it.

pokewoman · 25/09/2025 21:25

One of the school dads became a personal trainer earlier this year. He is visibly and quite significantly overweight. However, hes quite literally half the size he was a couple of yesrs ago. Hed obviously worked - and still working - incredibly hard to lose weight and get fit, and so I would imagine that this makes him good at his job, and also less intimidating

Roobarbtwo · 25/09/2025 20:55

taylorswift1989 · 25/09/2025 20:07

I get what you're saying and I agree to an extent. But I think you are underestimating what I mean when I'm saying 'obese'. Like one of them has trouble getting up the stairs. But even so, yes, you're right - they're qualified and employed to work in the gym so must have the basic knowledge. And as has been expressed on this thread, many people would choose to work with them.

I am overweight myself (one of the reasons I'm going to the gym!) and have no judgement on why or how these men became obese. I know there are lots of reasons that I would have a lot of compassion for and anyway, it's none of my business. But I feel an unfit PT is not the right PT for me.

It's fair to say, however, that either of them might be brilliant at training other people. I don't know. As I say, they both seem to have other issues that would put me off anyway, regardless of their fitness. But it's important to me that my PT be fit, in the same way that I would expect anyone teaching me a skill to have that skill themselves.

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That's fair enough. A PT qualification isn't easy to get and a lot of people go much further after they qualify. Btw if anyone is making sexual comments towards you - report it. That's not on

Original poster

taylorswift1989 · 25/09/2025 20:07

Roobarbtwo · 25/09/2025 19:54

When I did my PT qualification. I was 46. I was 11 stones 10. And my BMI was 30. (obese). However I was doing thai boxing bootcamps three times a week. Triathlons. Lifting weights in the gym. We did fitness tests on the course and I beat both the other girls on it - who were not unfit and who were a lot younger than me. 18 months earlier I had been 25kg heavier. There were comments made to me on the course by a male instructor - I was a size 14. About my size. He then said sorry after I did the fitness tests

As I said earlier on in the thread - people can gain weight for lots of reasons. As someone who has struggled with her weight for three decades I don't assume why someone might be the weight they are

If someone passes a PT course they are allowed to train other people - and if a gym wants to employ bigger PTs. That's up to them

Over the last three years I've had a shoulder fracture that stopped me from exercising -and then just as I was getting back into it - I broke my leg. Someone might look at me at the moment and think - look at the state of you - but if I were working in a gym just now - it wouldn't bother me. Because my size has no bearing on my ability to train other people. Sometimes life just gets in the way

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I get what you're saying and I agree to an extent. But I think you are underestimating what I mean when I'm saying 'obese'. Like one of them has trouble getting up the stairs. But even so, yes, you're right - they're qualified and employed to work in the gym so must have the basic knowledge. And as has been expressed on this thread, many people would choose to work with them.

I am overweight myself (one of the reasons I'm going to the gym!) and have no judgement on why or how these men became obese. I know there are lots of reasons that I would have a lot of compassion for and anyway, it's none of my business. But I feel an unfit PT is not the right PT for me.

It's fair to say, however, that either of them might be brilliant at training other people. I don't know. As I say, they both seem to have other issues that would put me off anyway, regardless of their fitness. But it's important to me that my PT be fit, in the same way that I would expect anyone teaching me a skill to have that skill themselves.

OP posts:

Roobarbtwo · 25/09/2025 19:59

dammit88 · 25/09/2025 19:47

No I agree! What I mean is if they are overweight but understand why (truthfully and accurately) I would have no issue at all. They are human after all. It might even make me identify with them more. But if they had no insight and claimed difficult metabolism or claimed to eat in a way which was clearly not the case or some such - that would put me off.

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I've struggled with my weight all my life. I'm a fat person in a slim family. I would need to starve myself to get to the weight I was in my 20s. I actually never had any negative comments as a PT who was a size 12-14.

I think people liked the fact that I didn't look ripped and perfect - and that attracted a certain kind of people to my classes and to people who wanted me to train them. Whereas the folk who did look ripped attracted other types of clients. There's room for lots of shapes and sizes as PTs. I can't think of anyone in the gym I go to that I would look at and think - you look totally ripped - but they all have people who want to train with them

Roobarbtwo · 25/09/2025 19:54

taylorswift1989 · 25/09/2025 19:38

I would not choose to train with either of these men. Their obesity is definitely a factor for me, but it's not just about that. One of the men is just a bit quiet and unfriendly - he may be perfectly nice but he seems unable to make eye contact. The other one has helped me with equipment a couple of times and each time has made weird sexual innuendos about how to move etc and while I can cope with a bit of banter or whatever, I definitely wouldn't want to be trained by someone who was talking about my body/exercise in a sexualised way.

The guy I'd like to train with is very fit indeed, but also calm, respectful, kind and extremely knowledgeable. He's not laddish or blokey in any way and he basically seems like a total geek for anything to do with fitness. If he was less fit-looking, I would still choose him over a fitter PT who wanted to banter with me or who couldn't make eye contact. But he also looks like he has the expertise and experience and is practising what he preaches.

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When I did my PT qualification. I was 46. I was 11 stones 10. And my BMI was 30. (obese). However I was doing thai boxing bootcamps three times a week. Triathlons. Lifting weights in the gym. We did fitness tests on the course and I beat both the other girls on it - who were not unfit and who were a lot younger than me. 18 months earlier I had been 25kg heavier. There were comments made to me on the course by a male instructor - I was a size 14. About my size. He then said sorry after I did the fitness tests

As I said earlier on in the thread - people can gain weight for lots of reasons. As someone who has struggled with her weight for three decades I don't assume why someone might be the weight they are

If someone passes a PT course they are allowed to train other people - and if a gym wants to employ bigger PTs. That's up to them

Over the last three years I've had a shoulder fracture that stopped me from exercising -and then just as I was getting back into it - I broke my leg. Someone might look at me at the moment and think - look at the state of you - but if I were working in a gym just now - it wouldn't bother me. Because my size has no bearing on my ability to train other people. Sometimes life just gets in the way

dammit88 · 25/09/2025 19:47

Roobarbtwo · 25/09/2025 19:07

Someone being overweight doesn't necessarily mean that they are a bad PT and someone being slim doesn't mean they are a good PT. My weight shape or size is no ones business. If I were a PT and someone thought I was too fat or unhealthy to train with - they have choices

I've also worked with people who have been on steroids (to get their physique bigger than it would be naturally). The gym knew

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No I agree! What I mean is if they are overweight but understand why (truthfully and accurately) I would have no issue at all. They are human after all. It might even make me identify with them more. But if they had no insight and claimed difficult metabolism or claimed to eat in a way which was clearly not the case or some such - that would put me off.

Original poster

taylorswift1989 · 25/09/2025 19:43

Roobarbtwo · 25/09/2025 19:29

I said earlier on there are people I know who are gym instructors who do strongman comps who are fat by my standards and I'm not skinny - they could bench and deadlift over twice the weight I can. They probably fit the body type you are describing.

I personally don't think it matters - because there are enough people working in gyms who fit the aesthetic some people clearly want - and others will get clients who are happy to go with them

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Possibly. I'm not comfortable to go into a lot of description of their bodies so I guess I can't say one way or another. I don't doubt that they are both strong. But neither of them are selling strongman training; both are selling PT for general fitness. (I actually know a strongwoman champion and she is just solid muscle, not fat at all, though probably has an enormous BMI.)

I absolutely agree that it doesn't matter and it's probably good to have the diversity of body types, as a lot of people on this thread have expressed they would be more comfortable with an obese PT. Which is fair enough!

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Original poster

taylorswift1989 · 25/09/2025 19:38

Roobarbtwo · 25/09/2025 19:07

Someone being overweight doesn't necessarily mean that they are a bad PT and someone being slim doesn't mean they are a good PT. My weight shape or size is no ones business. If I were a PT and someone thought I was too fat or unhealthy to train with - they have choices

I've also worked with people who have been on steroids (to get their physique bigger than it would be naturally). The gym knew

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I would not choose to train with either of these men. Their obesity is definitely a factor for me, but it's not just about that. One of the men is just a bit quiet and unfriendly - he may be perfectly nice but he seems unable to make eye contact. The other one has helped me with equipment a couple of times and each time has made weird sexual innuendos about how to move etc and while I can cope with a bit of banter or whatever, I definitely wouldn't want to be trained by someone who was talking about my body/exercise in a sexualised way.

The guy I'd like to train with is very fit indeed, but also calm, respectful, kind and extremely knowledgeable. He's not laddish or blokey in any way and he basically seems like a total geek for anything to do with fitness. If he was less fit-looking, I would still choose him over a fitter PT who wanted to banter with me or who couldn't make eye contact. But he also looks like he has the expertise and experience and is practising what he preaches.

OP posts:

Roobarbtwo · 25/09/2025 19:29

taylorswift1989 · 25/09/2025 19:20

I mean, they both look like the sport they are suited to compete in would be sumo wrestling. I don't want to be too descriptive about their bodies but I don't know how else to say it!

I'm not at all suggesting that you have to be slim to be fit. But I do think there's a difference between being "big" and being actually obese. A couple of the women at the gym are what I'd call big, with big muscles, stocky etc. I expect their BMIs might put them in the overweight range but they definitely aren't fat.

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I said earlier on there are people I know who are gym instructors who do strongman comps who are fat by my standards and I'm not skinny - they could bench and deadlift over twice the weight I can. They probably fit the body type you are describing.

I personally don't think it matters - because there are enough people working in gyms who fit the aesthetic some people clearly want - and others will get clients who are happy to go with them

Original poster

taylorswift1989 · 25/09/2025 19:28

UsernamePain · 25/09/2025 15:34

My husband is a PT, doesn’t look like the typical young fit PT you see in the gym. He’s in his late 40’s with no 6 pack, not overweight but is bigger than he was in his 20’s. He is always fully booked. Mainly because his clients see him as approachable, feel comfortable with him and know that he understands the obstacles that people with jobs, families and busy lives have to overcome to prioritise themselves.

I appreciate that people are saying they like a variety of types of PT and that's fair enough. I was just curious about this particular situation.

I don't think I have the same sense of being intimidated by people's bodies as others have described - I assume that when you see incredibly fit and strong people, they've worked hard to achieve that fitness and I find that admirable rather than scary. But I agree that someone who looks 'normal' or averagely fit could be an excellent PT and probably doesn't seem as intimidating as a super fit person.

OP posts: