To say school went too far suspending him for a vape

I can believe it to be true. At the secondary school I worked at in the mid 90s a fair amount did have a packet of fags on them. You could walk into a classroom after break and smell the fag smoke on them.

Take away his Xbox and tell him he’s not having it back until he shows some respect to his teachers. Cheeky kids are mind numbingly boring and the fact he’s carrying a vape around after you spoke to him shows he has zero respect for you. Instead of making inane excuses for him try some straight talking.

I wonder, and just musing here, if schools see that there is clearly no discipline going on at home, that they ‘up’ theirs. And the reverse.

I doubt it was just in his blazer pocket, how would the teacher have known? I don’t think he’s given you the full story here OP.

There’s a lot of evidence that proves vaping is harmful. Saying it’s better than smoking is like saying, having a stroke is better than a heart attack.

Even if that's true, it doesn't mean that school should have to put up with it. Stick to the rules or get suspended, it's usually made very clear with things such as smoking/vaping, alcohol and drugs.

Of course he should have been suspended. Of course you should support the school. Of course he shouldn't be on x box while suspended. Hth.

Whether we're talking about smoking or vaping, the point is the same - it is (objectively and scientifically) more harmful to developing brains and bodies than not doing it, and addiction is a real concern. If you know your child is smoking or vaping, why wouldn't you want to intervene and support schools in their efforts? That's the crux of this thread.

You need to parent him and being the bad person is part of being a parent. He’s behind on schoolwork? He’s got 3 days to focus on that and get on with it without his mates being a distraction. No Xbox for a month is what I’d be doing and any cheek or rudeness you double and then triple that! He needs to know his behaviour is not acceptable!!! Not oh dear the school have been over the top!

Kids who vape regularly is 9% in England this number hasnt increased since 2018

I use to always have a packet of fags in my bag at school everyone did

Trying it once isn't the same as actually doing it multiple times to the point you have vapes in your pocket at school.

Not according to the stats 49% of 11 - 15 year olds had smoked in 1996 and only 20% of 11-17 year olds have vaped in 2025.

The scale of it is definitely new, as any teacher or parent will tell you. When I was a teenager, a handful of kids smoked. You'd be hard pushed to find any kids who haven't vaped, though - that 20% figure is those who have admitted to it, the actual number is likely to be far higher. A 'safer alternative' which was originally aimed at getting adults to stop smoking does not equate to 'safe for children to do it'. Cigarettes weren't specifically marketed to children, as has been the case with vapes. They didn't come in attractive colours and flavours. A higher proportion of children vape now than ever smoked back in the day.

Because in 1996 49% of children aged 11- 15 had tried a cigarette in 2025 20% of 11- 17 year olds have tried vaping. Let's not make out its abnormal behaviour among teens

I'm sure you can find plenty of chores for him at home bed changing ironing cleaning hoovering cleaning oven sweeping front/back of house he also needs to learn that he will have to know how to do these things in life window cleaning he will be pleased to stop cleaning and do schoolwork or watch tv after meal prep of course 14 is not a baby

I'm sure you can find plenty of chores for him at home bed changing ironing cleaning hoovering cleaning oven sweeping front/back of house he also needs to learn that he will have to know how to do these things in life window cleaning he will be pleased to stop cleaning and do schoolwork or watch tv after meal prep of course 14 is not a baby

@youalright

Your acceptance of nicotine addiction in children as being normal is blowing my mind.

Their brains and bodies are still developing.

It is NOT normal. Permissive parenting is what makes it seem normal but it is really not.

🤣🤣🤣

It’s mumsnet. Of course we can 😂

Not Harsh at all. And yes, the exact same thing happening my school.
You're unreasonable that you was planning on letting him just sit on his Xbox, like a reward.
He's going to be bored? Give him something to do that's not fun. He can clean, read, do online maths etc.
You "told him off" for having a vape and removed it. He then got a second vape and took it into school, where is it prohibited. This is not a second punishment, it's a second times he's done something bad.

Learning to follow rules is useful as we as a society all have to follow rules. Its not 'big' to flout the rules. If he's behind then perhaps he plays about/acts up to deflect from this. I have seen plenty at various schools. Take away electronics for the three days. If you get tantrums, bad manners, shouting then youve found the right consequence/punishment.
You want him to get on in life, be able to read, write and express himself in proper whole sentences.....then this is how you get there.
Also if door slamming occurs.....remove the door.
Coming down firmly is teaching how to behave. This will help later in the workplace .
All part of growing up.
Physically big at 14
Mentally nowhere near big yet.

The link is nicotine addiction which children have been addicted to for decades. Its not a new thing its just a safer option has been invented

With that kind of attitude towards authority, I am, not suprised your son is behaving this way. This is a consequence of breaking a school policy and the school has every right to follow through and suspend your kid otherwise other kids will think it's okay. You should be thanking the school for helping you with this problem because today it's a vape, what is it tomorrow? I find that schools are actually too lenient with our kids. You should be backing the school and not your child. Clearly your consequence did nothing since he was caught with the vape after the fact.

But there's a link between vaping addiction and those children becoming disruptive as a result. This was one of the things I actually spoke to ds about when I discovered he'd been vaping. It harms focus and concentration and you end up with the same outcome as those whose ADHD is poorly managed (as an example, seeing as you mention inclusion).