To say school went too far suspending him for a vape

Oh please … he had a vape in school, he knows full well they are banned whether he was using it or not! Plus he’s under age to even have it in the first place!! Why is he behind at school? Because he’s out vaping rather than doing his school work. Sounds like you need to up the discipline before this gets worse … maybe take the Xbox away, why on earth would he be allowed to play on it if suspended. Maybe set him some school work if the school doesn’t, this is your responsibility … it’s called parenting!!! 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

Personally I don’t think they have gone too far, instead I think you sound too relaxed about it. Is it not your duty to ensure he is at home learning whilst suspended not playing on his x box ? Vaping is awful for children it should be a zero policy.

At my school 50-odd years ago, they turned a blind eye to smoking behind the pavilion on the top hockey pitch, but gave detention for smoking anywhere else.
From the upper floors of the main building, there was sometimes such a lot of smoke rising that it looked like the pavilion might be on fire.

The staff room door emitted a cloud of smoke every time it was opened, too, which might explain why they were fairly tolerant of smokers.

So you’ve had this problem with him before, he’s done it again, and your biggest concern is that the poor wee poppet is being punished twice? No wonder he’s badly behaved

You sound like a soft parent to me the school have every right to exclude him for 3 days they have to set a precedent and I don’t believe this his first offence either and like others have said if it was in his pocket how did the staff know he had a vape and there’s not a chance he would be allowed on his Xbox there’s plenty of online platforms for him to use or ask the school for some work for him the fact he’s already behind when they’ve only been back a few weeks is also screaming at me.

Stop making excuses for your son. Support the school in their attempts to punish your child for bad behaviour. Do the hard thing now, otherwise if he breaks the rules as a grown ass adult, you will be visiting him in jail. Enabling your son's behaviour by blaming the school for applying rules and punishments isn't doing him any favours, & dismissing his bad behaviour in class as being "a bit cheeky" is delusional. Be a parent & start telling him no.

Rather than minimising his behaviour support the schools policy. Whilst suspended ask school to send work in to catch up on rather than shoving him in front of his Xbox for 3 days.OP are you more annoyed that now you have him home for those 3days instead of having him packed off out of your way at school?

These posts make me so angry. Your kid is a little villain and you refuse to take responsibility for that. It's nobody's fault that he's been excluded. It's his failure to follow the rules and your failure to raise your own child properly that has caused this.

It’s completely normal to be suspended for being caught with vapes, etc. You say he’s behind at school? Take his Xbox away and get him some workbooks to complete whilst he’s at home. They have them in WH Smith, etc. Get him caught up. Probably while he’s behaving badly in class other children are falling behind too. Do some parenting.

Wtf? Your pissed at school for enforcing rules but not at your kid for vaping? Grow a pair and take away the Xbox and actually use this as a learning experience for him. Not as a less on of you're bigger then the rules so you can do what you want.

Wow! Too harsh?! Its illegal and he shouldn't be doing it.

Taking it off him was punishment? Then he was found with a second one?
The school is backing you up!
I hate petty detentions and suspensions but I'm with the school on this one

Now this is how you do it i remember as a kid the school doing that experiment where the tissue goes brown and shows you what smoking does to lungs. I tell my kids that smoking causes bad skin makes you smell and stunts your growth so far it seems to have worked as far as I know. I think educating and scaring the crap out of them with the dangers can often work well for some kids. I think making them sit in a room and educating them on the dangers is better then a 3 day suspension

Op.... you're taking a bit of a kicking here. It's easy to parent, and tell someone they're doing it all wrong, until it's not easy. My youngest of 4 dc's is "challenging" at the moment. Reacting against several bereavements and difficult divorce with my xh (his father).

My ds is 13 and last term he got suspended for 1 day after a vape was found on him. I was already fully involved with the school regarding his behaviour etc etc. I knew he was vaping, and I hate it. He's had minimal amounts of money, so god knows how he's getting them.

While he suspended, and for the rest of that week, he was grounded and his xbox confiscated. I gave him jobs to do, and made sure that I spend time with him.

I hate the vaping. My dm died of COPD 2 years after a lifetime of smoking, she was only a non-smoker for the last 15 years of her after she had brain anueurysms. Also caused by the smoking! Ds did some training with his df and his sister's boyfriend the other night, and apparently his lung capacity was absolutely awful. It has to be the vaping, even though he apparently isn't any more, and it's left me really worried.

OP that all sounds good - the school has a legal responsibility to provide work for any student that's suspended to complete, so really good if you can preempt this or chase it up. Sorry you're knackered

I understand your point but it's not necessarily safer, vapes have been found laced with spice. And the marketing of them with bright colours, fruity flavours is really toxic, it makes them look harmless to children who may not have touched cigarettes anyway.

I am a teacher and showed a former tutor group the chemicals in vapes after we found children in their year group (year 8!) were vaping in class, including around children with bad asthma. Formaldehyde was one that particularly seemed to put them off

Seriously... He's been vaping and not even for the first time, clearly you (OP) taking it off him didn't work. I'd make sure my son was punished at home as well as at school (also what was your punishment anyway?). No Xbox and I'd want to see his catch up work before he got it back

Yes. If this is the worse a teenager ever does, the parents have been very lucky. 🤷‍♀️

I assumed you had some idea, sorry. Lunch time detentions, after school detentions, isolation to name a few. Do you not have any experience of secondary schools?

In terms of something positive that can be done whilst your son is suspended. He can go onto BBC bitesize and find lessons in the subjects he is missing. You don't have to understand any of it, but you can create an environment where he does some learning himself. There are videos/quizzes etc.

I have no idea what bat is obviously vaping isn't good for you iv never said it was. What i am saying is some teenagers will smoke either way so its better for them to vape then smoke. Just like underage sex isn't a good thing but teens will still do it so using a condom is better then not, Taking drugs is bad but weed is better then heroin, drinking alcohol underage is bad but lager is better then spirits. Teenagers will always experiment with things that are illegal and not good for them thats part of growing and learning but if they can do that in the safest way possible thats a good thing.

Of course its better to not smoke at all but teenagers will always experiment with different things these teens that are vaping are the exact same teens that would of smoked 20 years ago. Vaping is a safer alternative

The point is teens have always pushed boundaries. When DS1 was at secondary in the early 2010s, a lot of students smoked cigarettes or weed.

That has now moved on to vaping, which is far safer than both. Of course, in an ideal world teens wouldn’t do any of it, but a degree of pragmatism is needed.

Vaping is supposed to be safer when used to wean smokers off tobacco. They were never intended for young people who had never smoked cigarettes before. Vaping is safer* than smoking cigarettes it is not safer than not smoking at all.

I am referring there to legal vapes bought legally. It is known that criminals operating County Lines start by getting youngsters to sell vapes telling them 'it's not illegal, it's safe' etc. before moving them on to even more serious substances. These vapes are usually illegally made and sold and nobody knows what is in them'. I have little doubt OP's son acquired his through this route.

Edit: I didn't intend all that bold type but can't be bothered now to undo it.