To say school went too far suspending him for a vape

Your child needs a better parental influence and that's what the school is. Unfortunately you're probably going to see this happen again and again because you don't understand the importance of discipline. It's a hard lesson to learn.

There's no point using words like 'cheeky' to describe what is probably inappropriate and disrespectful behaviour.

50 years ago, we smoked behind the bike sheds. The teachers turned da blind eye, probably because they were lighting up in the staffroom. The exceptions to that blindness eye were when the rude, idle little shitbags were caught. They received severe consequences, but the smoking was the final, tangible straw.

Well said

Your attitude towards this says a lot about why your son behaves the way he does. He has no chance. You need to get your act together and provide some really firm consequences that will deter him from vaping and disrupting his class. It's not fair that his peers are disrupted by his poor behaviour.

If you don't stop being lazy with the punishments, he's going to have a really unfair chance at education. It's not the school at fault - It's you.

what's more - Why does he need to sit on his Xbox all day? Can't you take it off him and set some home learning for him? Even if you're working you can put the Xbox in a bag and put it in your car, or take it with you.

Why do you think the rules don’t apply for him though? It has a zero tolerance policy so it’s applying its policy fairly.

Your 9 year old will likely feel very different when he's 14

I’ve never agreed with suspension unless a child is dangerous.

To what end?

Kid’s love a few days off.

😂😂😂

Actions have consequences.

YABvvvvU. It is not too harsh.

Poor parenting

Is this for real? Of course the school are correct they need to be seen setting the right example when parents fail to.kids should not have vapes! Even my 9 year old knows that vapes and smoking is bad
To say that he will just sit at home on his xbox for 3 days shows exactly what type of parent you are. The xbox and phones and whatever else should be taken off him as he is suspended .he should not be allowed to veg at home.sit and do school work with him or at the very least some research into what vaping can do to his young body

Your parenting has obviously not gone too far

No-one knows how safe vapes really are and the ones a 14 year old can get hold of are likely to be illegal ones which are even more dangerous.

I agree

Ha! For once on MN I actually agree with the school!!

Worrying how you're not bothered by his actions, only the consequences!

Wtf of course its a suitable punishment you don't seem bothered that he had a vape id be mortified if my 14 year did that

No I think parents pick their battles and certain things are more important to some then others. Vaping is quite low on my list but if I found out one of my kids was bullying someone, being disrespectful in a relationship, stealing they would never see daylight again.

Where did you get your username from @Abdican ? Is it short for ‘abdicate from parenting’?

Personally I think it’s bonkers to have such a strict sanction just for possessing a vape.

There’s a moral panic developing around them now though, so I doubt you’ll get much support on here or from the school.

In my view schools should be more focused on students who are disrupting the learning of others, but that’s not allowed due to ‘inclusion’.

Of course it’s not harsh. He’s 14 years old and in a school for goodness sake! And of course he’s only a bit behind already and of course he’s only cheeky in class sometimes…
You know as well as we do you have no intention of actually punishing or parenting him and taking his Xbox away. He won’t do anything but laze around for the few days he’ll consider as days off and nothing will be learned. Tale as old as time.

I think you should home school your cheeky lil chap.

I wish I could suspend some of the vaping idiots I encounter in public spaces ☹️.

How did they catch him with it in his pocket?

You don't have to sit and do algebra with him, the internet is marvellous I'm sure you can find some year group and ability appropriate worksheets, or get him reading through school books/notes/links on Google classroom/whatever.

Vapes and everything associated with them is a massive problem in schools OP, you can't blame them for having zero tolerance over this.

You have an opportunity to help him learn a valuable lesson here, but if you rail against the school then he'll learn just that...

Well if it was in his pocket, how did they even know he had it?

”a bit cheeky in class” - a disruptive nightmare.

OP, back up the school, put in actual consequences for breaking the rules. Take his Xbox, take his devices, make those 3 days miserable and make him catch up on the work he’s behind on. Get a handle on him now or it’ll get worse.

This is it. People do very little actual parenting, no discipline, put up with disrespect from their children then when that badly raised child is misbehaving, displaying criminal behaviour, talking shit and doesn't respect them, they shrug their shoulders and say 'what can I do, I told him off, he doesn't care.'

He doesn't care because he's never met a consequence in his life!

You say he’s already been told off. How? What’s your version of telling off? Being that he still has his x-box, he’s still going to be able to buy vapes off his mates. What actually is his punishment?

I have a 14 year old. He’s a good kid but he needs parenting. Real parenting.

Whenever I see an ‘AIBU in thinking the school went too far’ I think well done that school!