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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Leaving a parking space because someone else wants it

185 replies

Allisnotlost1 · 25/09/2025 08:59

I left the gym this morning about 8.15 and, as I did, saw someone arrive and drive the wrong way around the car park. It’s not huge but there’s an overflow which adds about 15-20 steps onto the walk back to the building. There’s also a second overflow which would add about 60 seconds.

I sat in my car to send a difficult emails - to do with bereavement - and I did this there so I could leave it behind and come home and focus on the day. It would have taken about 5 or 6 minutes.

So I start dealing with it and the wrong way driver an older lady, just for visualisation purposes, knocks on my window and asks me if I’m leaving. Yes, I say, it not for about 5 minutes. She asks me to ‘just pull out and wait somewhere’. I say I can’t, because you’ve driven the wrong way around the car park and now you’re blocking the exit. She insists she isn’t and she ‘needs’ the space because the car park is full. She hasn’t been to the overflow.

I look at her gobsmacked, but then ask where is it she expects me to go, and she then gets flustered and says don’t worry about. Ok I say, closing my door. When I left, there were a couple of empty spaces but by then she’d parked on the grass verge on the exit road.

AIBU?

YANBU - she should have used the overflow/s or driven around a bit like anyone else.

YABU - immediately leaving the car park at busy times is just the right thing to do.

OP posts:
jan2310 · 25/09/2025 12:32

Her age has nothing to do with it. The ageism on Mumnset is terrible.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 25/09/2025 12:30

YABU to hog a parking space because you're using it as a temporary office. Go somewhere else to do your emails.

incognitomouse · 25/09/2025 12:07

Nah, you did nothing wrong.

PrincessASDaisy · 25/09/2025 12:06

YABU. The nature of the email has nothing to do with it.

nomas · 25/09/2025 12:03

TheignT · 25/09/2025 11:59

She doesn't need to give strangers her medical details. The OP had finished in the gym so she wasn't entitled to a space in the gym car park.

Nope, that’s not how it works. The parking space is OP’s for however long she is entitled to stay there, whether it’s 3 hours or whatever.

The other woman wasn’t entitled to OP’s space. If she wanted a kindness from OP, she should have asked her nicely instead of ‘just pull out and wait somewhere’ and explained why she needs the space.

My mum has a blue badge, I deal with idiots all the time.

Bloozie · 25/09/2025 12:00

If it's a paid car parking space, you rented it for however long, enjoy it.

If it's free parking for the gym - bit cheeky.

TheignT · 25/09/2025 11:59

nomas · 25/09/2025 11:52

Then the woman needs to use her words and say she has a disability.

OP wasn’t parked in a blue badge bay.

She doesn't need to give strangers her medical details. The OP had finished in the gym so she wasn't entitled to a space in the gym car park.

TheignT · 25/09/2025 11:57

Rosesfornoses · 25/09/2025 09:37

I never understand the posters who are so nasty about someone wanting a parking space for a genuine reason. The woman was there to use the gym. You wanted somewhere to sit and answer emails. She takes priority, she wanted to use the gym.
There was a really spiteful post on here from a poster who boasted about seeing her sister's neighbour desperately trying to park near the house so she could unload her three kids and shopping. The poster decided not to leave ( she didn't live in the road) but went back into her sister's house so they could laugh at the increasing desperation of the neighbour. The poster proclaimed smugly that no on owned road side parking.
I would not feel proud of myself for being unkind and unhelpful. One day, you may need a favour. I hope you find that give and take is important.

That is just awful. What sort of person wants to cause upset to someone else and laugh about it. She must have such a sad and empty life.

CeffylCoch · 25/09/2025 11:54

You did nothing wrong

nomas · 25/09/2025 11:52

ReignOfError · 25/09/2025 11:25

I was mostly not bothered until you wrote this. You don’t know if she has a mobility problem. Not all disabilities are visible. My husband has a life-limiting disease and walking any distance for him is painful and leaves him breathless, but you’d never know it to look him, or if he’d just got out of a car briefly. And yes, he does still go to the gym because it’s essential, and he doesn’t have a blue badge, btw.

Then the woman needs to use her words and say she has a disability.

OP wasn’t parked in a blue badge bay.

nomas · 25/09/2025 11:50

basherlass · 25/09/2025 09:03

Could you not have just left and pulled over somewhere else to send the email? The car park is for the gym, not for sitting in your car and sending emails. Fine if it's not busy but when there are only a few parking spaces it's a bit shit. The content of the email doesn't really change anything.

Why should she? OP is a paying customer like everyone else.

The woman was just too lazy to walk to park in the overflow car park.

I mean I get it, I like to park as close to my gym as possible and then do 5km on the treadmill (yes, the irony doesn’t escape me) but I would never expect anyone to move for me to indulge my laziness.

CautiousLurker01 · 25/09/2025 11:33

ReignOfError · 25/09/2025 11:25

I was mostly not bothered until you wrote this. You don’t know if she has a mobility problem. Not all disabilities are visible. My husband has a life-limiting disease and walking any distance for him is painful and leaves him breathless, but you’d never know it to look him, or if he’d just got out of a car briefly. And yes, he does still go to the gym because it’s essential, and he doesn’t have a blue badge, btw.

Then surely the answer is to apply for a Blue Badge? They are easy to obtain if you have medical reasons. We have one for my DD’s Autism/ADHD surprisingly.

ReignOfError · 25/09/2025 11:25

Allisnotlost1 · 25/09/2025 09:47

lol, definitely not. I imagine that it would be read differently if a man had approached me than a woman. To me it made no difference. I’m also of ‘Karen age’.

for those suggesting, she also didn’t have a mobility problem, and there is nowhere (other than the other two also very close car parks) to pull over without being antisocial (eg parking on the grass verge or making it awkward for others.

And while yes I agree it’s not relevant what someone is doing by delaying, I wasn’t justifying it on that basis - just giving info. I honestly would never dream of asking someone to move for nothing other than my own convenience.

I was mostly not bothered until you wrote this. You don’t know if she has a mobility problem. Not all disabilities are visible. My husband has a life-limiting disease and walking any distance for him is painful and leaves him breathless, but you’d never know it to look him, or if he’d just got out of a car briefly. And yes, he does still go to the gym because it’s essential, and he doesn’t have a blue badge, btw.

blackbunny · 25/09/2025 11:21

3456DDF · 25/09/2025 09:40

This is why I always sit in the passenger seat if I go back to my car but am not intending to drive off straight away.

Can't be doing with feeling rushed to leave.

That’s a good idea. Will remember this!

PullingOutHair123 · 25/09/2025 11:14

DysonLover1 · 25/09/2025 10:30

People who hog a pump while they conduct their weekly shop in the Tesco Express. Pay for your fuel, move your car, then do your weekly shop. Simples. Winds me right up.

I thought that the pump wouldn't release fuel to the next customer until after you've paid, so doesn't really matter if you move your car or not?

We have none of these near me, so no real experience so apologies if wrong.

Back to OP - I'm on your side. Don't see anything unreasonable unless there really were no other spaces in any of the carparks you mentioned.

Jenkibuble · 25/09/2025 11:13

Allisnotlost1 · 25/09/2025 08:59

I left the gym this morning about 8.15 and, as I did, saw someone arrive and drive the wrong way around the car park. It’s not huge but there’s an overflow which adds about 15-20 steps onto the walk back to the building. There’s also a second overflow which would add about 60 seconds.

I sat in my car to send a difficult emails - to do with bereavement - and I did this there so I could leave it behind and come home and focus on the day. It would have taken about 5 or 6 minutes.

So I start dealing with it and the wrong way driver an older lady, just for visualisation purposes, knocks on my window and asks me if I’m leaving. Yes, I say, it not for about 5 minutes. She asks me to ‘just pull out and wait somewhere’. I say I can’t, because you’ve driven the wrong way around the car park and now you’re blocking the exit. She insists she isn’t and she ‘needs’ the space because the car park is full. She hasn’t been to the overflow.

I look at her gobsmacked, but then ask where is it she expects me to go, and she then gets flustered and says don’t worry about. Ok I say, closing my door. When I left, there were a couple of empty spaces but by then she’d parked on the grass verge on the exit road.

AIBU?

YANBU - she should have used the overflow/s or driven around a bit like anyone else.

YABU - immediately leaving the car park at busy times is just the right thing to do.

You did the right thing.

At my gym there are people who have theur SET PLACES in the gym studio for classes.
I joke to my friend about getting there really early and taking their spots. Just to see what they would do .

whynotwhatknot · 25/09/2025 11:08

shoujld have just said no im not going and carried on with what youre doing

i hate people going wrong way round the car park-one person said to me it doesnt matter because its not a road

ladycarlotta · 25/09/2025 11:05

I think the interaction started reasonably - "are you leaving?"/"yes but I'll be a few minutes yet".

She was in the wrong to then demand that you moved. You had the spot. You were preparing to leave. Meanwhile, she was heading the wrong way round a one-way system and blocking the exit. She should have kept circling. I appreciate that a busy car park can get frustrating and perhaps this eclipsed her judgement, but that's not your responsibility. You weren't being unreasonable.

Catwalking · 25/09/2025 11:02

Ignore her, she could (possibly in another lifetime) have caught you @ an even more difficult moment…
For future use in similar circumstances maybe rehearse other replies, that will force some1 to immediately back off! …I’m dreaming up crazy things now😊, justincase it ever happens to me—- can she empty my shewee, my false leg has become detached, waiting for disabled partner, brandish an umbrella etc.etc.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 25/09/2025 11:02

Neither of you are wrong really. You had that parking space for as long as you needed it (assuming there were no signs dictating length of stay) and she asked if you were leaving which she was well in her right to ask if there were no other obvious spaces.

TheSwarm · 25/09/2025 10:59

It's not "batshit" to say that sitting in your car taking up a spaces when you are done using the facility the parking is for is a bit inconsiderate.

Like others have said, it's the same as blocking a petrol pump for 10 minutes rather than moving your car if you you want to spend 10 minutes in the shop before paying for petrol. Sure, there is nothing to stop you but equally it's just a bit unnecessarily selfish.

Ontheedgeofit · 25/09/2025 10:57

If you were sitting in your car without it on, then take as long as you need.
If you are sitting in your car with your car idling and your reverse lights on then you need to move!

CautiousLurker01 · 25/09/2025 10:54

If you were within your paid for slot, it makes no difference whether you were using the gym or catching up on emails. It was your slot. I bet she didn't pay for parking having parked on the verge.

muddyford · 25/09/2025 10:49

I would have smiled sweetly and asked if the overflow car parks were full. Sometimes the car is the only place you can get undisturbed time.

YourBrickTiger · 25/09/2025 10:39

TheSwarm · 25/09/2025 09:13

Sitting in your car taking up a space in a full carpark when you are finished using the facilities is a bit of a dick move.

So is driving around the wrong way and blocking the exit!

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