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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Leaving a parking space because someone else wants it

185 replies

Allisnotlost1 · 25/09/2025 08:59

I left the gym this morning about 8.15 and, as I did, saw someone arrive and drive the wrong way around the car park. It’s not huge but there’s an overflow which adds about 15-20 steps onto the walk back to the building. There’s also a second overflow which would add about 60 seconds.

I sat in my car to send a difficult emails - to do with bereavement - and I did this there so I could leave it behind and come home and focus on the day. It would have taken about 5 or 6 minutes.

So I start dealing with it and the wrong way driver an older lady, just for visualisation purposes, knocks on my window and asks me if I’m leaving. Yes, I say, it not for about 5 minutes. She asks me to ‘just pull out and wait somewhere’. I say I can’t, because you’ve driven the wrong way around the car park and now you’re blocking the exit. She insists she isn’t and she ‘needs’ the space because the car park is full. She hasn’t been to the overflow.

I look at her gobsmacked, but then ask where is it she expects me to go, and she then gets flustered and says don’t worry about. Ok I say, closing my door. When I left, there were a couple of empty spaces but by then she’d parked on the grass verge on the exit road.

AIBU?

YANBU - she should have used the overflow/s or driven around a bit like anyone else.

YABU - immediately leaving the car park at busy times is just the right thing to do.

OP posts:
Esmereldapawpatrol · 25/09/2025 13:25

TheSwarm · 25/09/2025 10:59

It's not "batshit" to say that sitting in your car taking up a spaces when you are done using the facility the parking is for is a bit inconsiderate.

Like others have said, it's the same as blocking a petrol pump for 10 minutes rather than moving your car if you you want to spend 10 minutes in the shop before paying for petrol. Sure, there is nothing to stop you but equally it's just a bit unnecessarily selfish.

I don't agree those two examples are the same. Blocking a pump at the petrol station is selfish I agree but it's not the same as staying in your parking space, also there were other spaces available!

To those saying the OP was BU, if there was a cafe at the gym and she had gone there for a coffee and to do her admin would she still BU? Or is it the fact she's sat in her car? I am genuinely curious as I just can't see the issue with what OP did.

BeLilacSloth · 25/09/2025 13:25

Easy to solve OP. Get out the car park, go home, send email. Then this confrontation wouldn’t have happened. Can’t believe you have time in your day to argue with an elderly(and possibly confused) lady.

PullingOutHair123 · 25/09/2025 13:23

DysonLover1 · 25/09/2025 12:37

Pay for your fuel, move your car, then do your weekly shop.

Please read again!

Alright alright! Blimey. Someone pissed on your cornflakes!

nomas · 25/09/2025 13:17

Allisnotlost1 · 25/09/2025 13:12

Me too, but sometimes it’s inevitable. Hanging around for 5 minutes doesn’t seem that pigeony for me.

🤣

You were not pigeony at all.

What a great new adjective, henceforth, I will call annoying people pigeony.

Allisnotlost1 · 25/09/2025 13:12

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 25/09/2025 13:06

Personally, when I have experience of being the statue, I try harder not to be the pigeon.

Me too, but sometimes it’s inevitable. Hanging around for 5 minutes doesn’t seem that pigeony for me.

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 25/09/2025 13:11

AutumnCosy2025 · 25/09/2025 09:08

Both as bad as each other.

The carpark was busy, it's for parking & using the gym, not doing admin.

she was being unreasonable not going to tge over flows, but that doesn't excuse you from using a premium car park space to do 'stuff' you could do elsewhere.,

Ye it’s 6 of one half a dozen of the other. Both of you were unreasonable

Allisnotlost1 · 25/09/2025 13:10

ReignOfError · 25/09/2025 11:25

I was mostly not bothered until you wrote this. You don’t know if she has a mobility problem. Not all disabilities are visible. My husband has a life-limiting disease and walking any distance for him is painful and leaves him breathless, but you’d never know it to look him, or if he’d just got out of a car briefly. And yes, he does still go to the gym because it’s essential, and he doesn’t have a blue badge, btw.

You’re right, I don’t know if she had a hidden disability. From what I could see, she didn’t have a mobility problem. And she didn’t tell me she needed the space because other car parks were too far to walk. If she had, I’d have moved for her. Of course she doesn’t have to tell me anything, but then it’s very hard to know.

As it was, I was parked as far as possible away from the building, while within the main car park. When I left, she’d parked further away on a grass verge. If she’d needed a blue badge space, one was available.

OP posts:
netflixfan · 25/09/2025 13:08

Cheeky person. I would have stayed and said no.

thebrollachan · 25/09/2025 13:08

She sounds unfamiliar with the layout. Did you tell her about the overflow?

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 25/09/2025 13:06

Allisnotlost1 · 25/09/2025 13:03

And many times I’ve had to wait, or drive around, or park somewhere else. Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.

Personally, when I have experience of being the statue, I try harder not to be the pigeon.

Allisnotlost1 · 25/09/2025 13:03

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 25/09/2025 12:59

But if you're the annoying person making other people wait, it is within YOUR control.

And many times I’ve had to wait, or drive around, or park somewhere else. Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.

OP posts:
HisNibs · 25/09/2025 13:02

OP's car could have broken down and she was trying to arrange repair/recovery for all the other driver knew. What would she be expected to do then? Push the car back out of the parking spot?

Allisnotlost1 · 25/09/2025 13:01

SatsumaDog · 25/09/2025 12:34

Unless you were improperly using a priority parking space (e.g disabled) YANBU. The lady could have used one of the other car parks.

The gym should consider changing the closest car park to priority parking only. That way everyone who can, parks in the overflow spaces.

I’d agree with that. There are disabled spots closest to the entrance, I was at the farthest away part of the main car park. I often have to go to the overflow. By the time I drove out (literally five minutes) there were spots closer to the door.

OP posts:
PropertyD · 25/09/2025 13:01

You sound self absorbed and I would have moved too.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 25/09/2025 12:59

Allisnotlost1 · 25/09/2025 12:55

Funny you mention parents because as I drive home I pass two schools and the number of illegally parked and suddenly braking parents was quite jarring.

I’d agree it is a bit annoying when others are waiting - but I think it’s one of those annoying things you can’t control, rather than thinking it’s reasonable to ask someone else to inconvenience themselves for your own convenience. You don’t have any more right to those spaces than they do, they just got there first and you’re annoyed. Sometimes people park outside my house, should I ask them to move to a different parking space so I don’t have to walk as far? Probably not.

But if you're the annoying person making other people wait, it is within YOUR control.

StrawberrySquash · 25/09/2025 12:59

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 25/09/2025 09:13

It's absolutely fine to sit in a car and send a few emails. If you'd sat in the reception of the gym and done it nobody would have noticed or cared and it would have had the same impact on the other driver.

I think the difference is that people will naturally look for people heading back to their cars when looking for a space. And by going back to your car you inadvertently signal that your space is about to become free.

But the other woman should just have gone to the overflow carpark.

Allisnotlost1 · 25/09/2025 12:58

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 25/09/2025 12:30

YABU to hog a parking space because you're using it as a temporary office. Go somewhere else to do your emails.

That would be unreasonable I agree - Teams calls at the steering wheel etc. Five minutes? I could have been waiting for a friend to come out, having a drink, changing my glasses…

OP posts:
Allisnotlost1 · 25/09/2025 12:56

nomas · 25/09/2025 12:53

If you hadn’t put her age, people would have asked how old is she. You can’t win on MN.

Exactly what I thought.

OP posts:
Allisnotlost1 · 25/09/2025 12:55

Buiderswoe · 25/09/2025 12:43

I think you were being a bit unreasonable…my kids school have a smallish car park which can be used by parents at pick up as no nearby street parking.The amount of parents who snag a space, get their kids then stand around in the car park next to their car, having a good old chinwag with the other parents while there is a massive queue of people waiting to pick up strikes me as particularly dickish behaviour. Spaces are a premium and it’s just decent manners to give up the space for someone else once you have used it for the purpose for which is provided.

Funny you mention parents because as I drive home I pass two schools and the number of illegally parked and suddenly braking parents was quite jarring.

I’d agree it is a bit annoying when others are waiting - but I think it’s one of those annoying things you can’t control, rather than thinking it’s reasonable to ask someone else to inconvenience themselves for your own convenience. You don’t have any more right to those spaces than they do, they just got there first and you’re annoyed. Sometimes people park outside my house, should I ask them to move to a different parking space so I don’t have to walk as far? Probably not.

OP posts:
nomas · 25/09/2025 12:53

Allisnotlost1 · 25/09/2025 12:49

If she was younger I’d have said that too. For me it’s not relevant, but others might have had a different view - ie ‘young people are so entitled’ or, someone suggested she might have had mobility needs. I’m middle aged myself so wasn’t intended to belittle her.

If you hadn’t put her age, people would have asked how old is she. You can’t win on MN.

nomas · 25/09/2025 12:52

Buiderswoe · 25/09/2025 12:43

I think you were being a bit unreasonable…my kids school have a smallish car park which can be used by parents at pick up as no nearby street parking.The amount of parents who snag a space, get their kids then stand around in the car park next to their car, having a good old chinwag with the other parents while there is a massive queue of people waiting to pick up strikes me as particularly dickish behaviour. Spaces are a premium and it’s just decent manners to give up the space for someone else once you have used it for the purpose for which is provided.

That’s a different situation. In this case there was an overflow car park the woman could have used.

Allisnotlost1 · 25/09/2025 12:49

PistachioTiramisu · 25/09/2025 10:09

Always 'an older lady' - it wouldn't be so bad, but do you ever see reference made to 'a younger lady'??

If she was younger I’d have said that too. For me it’s not relevant, but others might have had a different view - ie ‘young people are so entitled’ or, someone suggested she might have had mobility needs. I’m middle aged myself so wasn’t intended to belittle her.

OP posts:
Buiderswoe · 25/09/2025 12:43

I think you were being a bit unreasonable…my kids school have a smallish car park which can be used by parents at pick up as no nearby street parking.The amount of parents who snag a space, get their kids then stand around in the car park next to their car, having a good old chinwag with the other parents while there is a massive queue of people waiting to pick up strikes me as particularly dickish behaviour. Spaces are a premium and it’s just decent manners to give up the space for someone else once you have used it for the purpose for which is provided.

DysonLover1 · 25/09/2025 12:37

PullingOutHair123 · 25/09/2025 11:14

I thought that the pump wouldn't release fuel to the next customer until after you've paid, so doesn't really matter if you move your car or not?

We have none of these near me, so no real experience so apologies if wrong.

Back to OP - I'm on your side. Don't see anything unreasonable unless there really were no other spaces in any of the carparks you mentioned.

Pay for your fuel, move your car, then do your weekly shop.

Please read again!

SatsumaDog · 25/09/2025 12:34

Unless you were improperly using a priority parking space (e.g disabled) YANBU. The lady could have used one of the other car parks.

The gym should consider changing the closest car park to priority parking only. That way everyone who can, parks in the overflow spaces.

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