Leaving a parking space because someone else wants it

Older implies elderly, what else would you mean by that 😅 in no way did I say that all old people are confused. Please have more consideration in the future and choose more appropriate places to send emails

🤣🤣🤣

Don’t like cornflakes! 😉

"So the woman hassling the OP to move, when the OP was not done with the space - what do you call that?

I'd call that woman an awful and impatient cunt.

I'd much rather the OP safely do whatever was needed on her phone while parked vs doing while driving. The OP did nothing wrong.

Your ire is sorely fucking misplaced."

Now now pottymouth 😂

@HelplessSoul I see you've made up a load of nonsense to justify your over the top reaction. Asking someone if they're leaving is hardly hassling.
But yes, you're completely right, the only options here were to hog a space in a busy car park or to drive with her eyes glued to a screen. In fact, OP probably saved lives today 😉

"I definitely don’t think considerate is mollycoddling, and I think I’ve made that clear.

I don't think you have made that clear. I commented about having consideration for other people and remembering that as people age there will be a higher likelihood of having certain issues and you took your response to the extreme, doing so means mollycoddling and patronising anyone with grey hair.

You referred to me as a twat and now want to talk about attitude and consideration so it’s hard to take you seriously to be honest."

Well tbh I didn't actually intend to call you a twat outright, I was referring to the behaviour being twattish and was replying to a comment about a specific detail, pointing out the lack of awareness that as people age they might appreciate a little more compassion. But you're right, it's was rude so fwiw I'm sorry for that.

"I wonder what you think a forum is for if you object to people chatting about the minutiae of their lives."

I don't object to that at all? I objected to lack of consideration.

"I told her I’d be gone in five minutes and I was. By that time she’d already parked and closer spaces were empty. So I don’t think a couple of minutes inconvenience warrants quite your level of antipathy, but here you are wilfully being so."

Eh? What level of antipathy? I don't think a couple of comments on MN exhibits anything of the sort. And yes, five minutes isn't much in a general sense, but in the context of sitting in the road with your car running without somewhere to park, it's long enough..and it was unnecessary.

"Everyone has their reasons, and of course they don’t need to be explicit, but if they are not obvious then being explicit does make it easier, particularly if there’s no reason their needs trump someone else’s and no-one is harmed by one or the other taking precedence."

Maybe it's baby brain, but I can't make sense of that last part. But my point was, lots of people aren't comfortable sharing private information with people. Especially if it's health related. She made it clear that she needed the space by going to you and asking for it. I just think the decent thing to do would be to let her have it. You had finished with the facilities and were leaving, you didn't actually need it anymore. Why inconvenience someone when you could so easily avoid it?

Ironically, I’ve noticed that it’s always people going to the gym that have got to have the closest car park and can’t possibly walk a few steps!

My DD used to attend a dancing school that was next door to a gym. The dancing school had about 12 parking spaces in total, which obviously didn’t go very far at busy after school times. The gym had about 5 parking spaces at street level and then a large car park (maybe 40 spaces) down the back. The dancing school parents would constantly get threatening emails about not parking in gym spaces, so generally didn’t do it. But the gym goers would constantly park in the dancing school spaces - their own big car park down the back would be practically empty but of course they couldn’t possibly walk round from behind the building, they had to park as close as possible to the door.

I suppose in summary, nobody came away feeling good. Maybe the other woman would have expressed gratitude and thanks to you, had you moved. And you may have felt good for doing something that wasn't ideal for you but that helped her out.

Appreciate that from your POV she was inconveniencing you by interrupting you whilst writing a sensitive email. She was flustered, you were concentrating. You could see that she was flustered and perhaps not familiar with the car park. She could see that you were on your phone/device however she could not have been aware of what exactly you were writing - probably just assumed you were sending a quick text message.

And therefore... I still think you should have moved. 🙂

Do you kiss your children with that mouth?

So the woman hassling the OP to move, when the OP was not done with the space - what do you call that?

I'd call that woman an awful and impatient cunt.

I'd much rather the OP safely do whatever was needed on her phone while parked vs doing while driving. The OP did nothing wrong.

Your ire is sorely fucking misplaced.

Not projecting at all @HelplessSoul

I just don't go out of my way to treat people awfully instead of making someone's life a little less difficult and I find it sad that other people do.

Pig ignorant eh? Projecting much?

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Like Poirot1983, I don't think this is so much a case of right or wrong, as one of courtesy and kindness.

From what you say, and the fact that you are seeking opinions, I wonder if you feel that, on this occasion, you didn't live up to the standards you set yourself and so feel some discomfort. If so, you can't turn the clock back so there's not much point in beating yourself up about it. After all, it's a rare person who never falls short, specially in distracting circumstances. But you might feel better if instead of finding (minor) fault in what the other person did, you accept that you could have been kinder and generally would be, and then just 'let it go' (at the risk of sounding like some Disney character).

This thread has given some interesting insight into the different ways people respond to the apparent needs/wants/convenience of others.

@Allisnotlost1 'I hear you, but I think comparing how you’d behave at work vs how you’d behave while managing your own tricky things is apples and pears. My nan wouldn’t dream of knocking on a window and asking someone to move for her and she’s considerably older than this lady.'

Yes, that is fair enough but I should have been more clear that I would treat people I meet at work and in my everyday life how I would like my nan to be treated.

I suppose in a nutshell, this lady had her reasons and she appeared flustered and upon seeing that, I would personally not want to make her day harder and make her more flustered. I would want to make her day better and easier.

You chose not to assist in helping make her day a little bit easier.

I don't think that banging on your window was necessarily courteous but she had her reasons.

@Allisnotlost1
"Well, at least I’m not the kind of inconsiderate twat that doesn’t bother to read the thread before posting to call other people names. No deliberate inconveniencing, no bitching.

If she had ‘real trouble’ with those extra sixty seconds it seems unlikely she’d have wandered over from where she’d ditched her own car, or to have then parked in a grassy area another distance away. I don’t assume every person with grey hair needs to be patronised and mollycoddled."

Err I did read the thread, and you did knowingly inconvenience another person though didn't you. You sat around after the lady asked you if you could move. That was a wilful decision you made. And my mistake, you definitely didn't intend for any bitching to occur on the thread. Of course not. You just fancied a chat.

People shouldn't need to be explicit in their descriptions of their personal needs, she made it clear that she needed the spot by the fact that she came over and asked for it, who knows what reason someone might need it. Whether it's mobility related or something else you might not necessarily consider.
Your attitude utterly stinks if you think merely being considerate to other people is patronising and mollycoddling. Ffs

It was so nice to read your response @Poirot1983 ..you sound like a thoughtful and considerate person. I wish there were more people like you walking around and fewer "tell her to fuck off and stay extra long to spite her" people.

Fair enough, OP.

Sometimes just very small acts can make all the difference to someone's day. I just felt a little sorry for the other woman as she sounded, well, flustered!

I worked in hospitality for many years and always treated everyone as if they were my nan (who I loved). Because I would always want my nan (or any loved-one) to be treated with courtesy and would always hope that someone would help them out if needed, even just a little bit. Especially when they were flustered!

Small acts are what keep the wheels oiled, as they say.

I just feel that the 'classier' move would have been to have moved your car out for her.

I would have done exactly the same as you. You are allowed to not move. Other people say for you to move and do emails elsewhere but in some cities this is tricky with red routes and very limited parking

Instinct tells me this isn't this woman's first rodeo and she pulls these stunts all the time -the driving in the wrong way is especially obnoxious. In an attempt to out maneuver other people trying to get a space. She clearly thinks she's very important and then ditches her car on a grass verge

This was my exact thought, but it has had the opposite effect. It just made me wonder what sort of a twat would knowingly inconvenience an older person and then bitch about her online.
How inconsiderate must you be to be so unwilling to make allowances for other people especially older ones who may have real trouble with having to that extra 60 seconds of distance as OP says.