Page 2 | That I could do this commute twice a week?

gooseberryfooled · 2025-09-25T06:32:13+00:00

I've been WFH since 2020 but my employer has just mandated two days in the office for everyone in my department. There will be some flexibility but mostly I will be commuting twice a week, most weeks. I am quite happy with this, I've been considering going in more for a while now and my current commute is a fairly easy 45 mins door to door (train and a bit of walking). However, we (me, DH and DC8) have been planning to move house mid-next year. It's long planned and much wanted - we've found the exact village we want to move to and are very set on living by water and out in the country. But the move would out my commute at an hour and 20 minute train journey, plus around 15-20 minutes getting to and from train stations at either end (that might be reduced depending on how close to the village station we end up living). It would also be more expensive but manageable. Am I being horribly unrealistic to think that's doable? There would be some weeks I could negotiate going only once to another office where more of my team sit so it might be 3 weeks out of 4. DH is a SAHP so no issues with childcare.

warmapplepies · 25/09/2025 08:46

Sheiswaiting · 25/09/2025 08:10

Precisely!

So for you to say no way! before knowing the salary context…. Is surely a touch premature

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Oh, let it go would you 🤣

Heylittlesongbird · 25/09/2025 08:38

ishimbob · 25/09/2025 08:25

I find people are a bit weird about public transport costs.

It's less than the cost of running a car which many people will cheerfully do even on a very low salary.

OP - when I used to do this kind of train commute, I found the key was having a plan for the journey. I used to do life admin on the way in while drinking coffee brought from home, my online grocery shop, any bank transfers, that kind of thing (you may have less of this with a SAHP) and then the way back was all for me - would read a book or watch a film.

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I feel very inadequate now. I just binge mumsnet on my commute.

SpanThatWorld · 25/09/2025 08:31

Divebar2021 · 25/09/2025 07:56

I did a 2 hour commute and it was murder but it was walk, train, train, train, walk. So half the hassle was the constant changing and argy barge on the platform. One train and less than 2 hours is definitely do-able.

I have done walk, train, train, walk every day for the last 8 years. In total it's a slightly shorter commute than yours but it's the final change that fucks me off. Horrible station transfer and final train journey is just 2 stops.
I occasionally have a commute involving a longer journey on a single train and it is far less irritating. OP's sounds fine - as long as you get a seat.

Original poster

gooseberryfooled · 25/09/2025 08:27

ishimbob · 25/09/2025 08:25

I find people are a bit weird about public transport costs.

It's less than the cost of running a car which many people will cheerfully do even on a very low salary.

OP - when I used to do this kind of train commute, I found the key was having a plan for the journey. I used to do life admin on the way in while drinking coffee brought from home, my online grocery shop, any bank transfers, that kind of thing (you may have less of this with a SAHP) and then the way back was all for me - would read a book or watch a film.

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I love the idea of a productive journey one way and some me time on the other! The idea of a few hours completely to myself each week is appealing.

OP posts:

Original poster

gooseberryfooled · 25/09/2025 08:25

RememberDecember · 25/09/2025 08:19

Go for it OP, you sound well set up for this to work with DP at home. Of course things could change in the future, but you might as well give it a shot, you can always change jobs if you need to further down the line. Work to live your life as you want, I doubt you will regret moving somewhere you have coveted as a family. Good luck!

Thank you, that's my hope!

OP posts:

ishimbob · 25/09/2025 08:25

HauntedHero · 25/09/2025 08:18

My opinion is that £240 a month just on commuting is a lot of money and not something to take on lightly.

I would imagine for people using public transport that's a fairly normal commute cost. I used to do Oxford to Reading and that's over 20 quid a day if travelling at peak times for a half hour journey.

I used to do a 90 minute drive (each way) twice a week. Whilst it wasn't my favourite thing, it was perfectly manageable.

I find people are a bit weird about public transport costs.

It's less than the cost of running a car which many people will cheerfully do even on a very low salary.

OP - when I used to do this kind of train commute, I found the key was having a plan for the journey. I used to do life admin on the way in while drinking coffee brought from home, my online grocery shop, any bank transfers, that kind of thing (you may have less of this with a SAHP) and then the way back was all for me - would read a book or watch a film.

Original poster

gooseberryfooled · 25/09/2025 08:25

HauntedHero · 25/09/2025 08:18

My opinion is that £240 a month just on commuting is a lot of money and not something to take on lightly.

I would imagine for people using public transport that's a fairly normal commute cost. I used to do Oxford to Reading and that's over 20 quid a day if travelling at peak times for a half hour journey.

I used to do a 90 minute drive (each way) twice a week. Whilst it wasn't my favourite thing, it was perfectly manageable.

It's not far off what I was paying pre-2020 when I was commuting in 5 days a week now I think about it. I was paying nursery fees and earned considerably less at the time too (though other costs are now higher of course!)

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FraterculaArctica · 25/09/2025 08:25

I do a similar commute 2x a week, but we have 3 DC and DH works 0.8 FTE from home. For us I don't feel it is working, but with 1 DC and a SAHP it would be a breeze.

QueenOfCastille · 25/09/2025 08:22

I did a similar commute for years. It was fine. I really enjoyed the quiet time in the train.

RememberDecember · 25/09/2025 08:19

Go for it OP, you sound well set up for this to work with DP at home. Of course things could change in the future, but you might as well give it a shot, you can always change jobs if you need to further down the line. Work to live your life as you want, I doubt you will regret moving somewhere you have coveted as a family. Good luck!

HauntedHero · 25/09/2025 08:18

My opinion is that £240 a month just on commuting is a lot of money and not something to take on lightly.

I would imagine for people using public transport that's a fairly normal commute cost. I used to do Oxford to Reading and that's over 20 quid a day if travelling at peak times for a half hour journey.

I used to do a 90 minute drive (each way) twice a week. Whilst it wasn't my favourite thing, it was perfectly manageable.

AtBeaverGoat · 25/09/2025 08:17

Used to do this kind of commute for a few years- it’s definitely doable- but very tiring- especially in the winter- okay in your 20s and 30s , harder as you get older.
got too much for me and I took a pay cut and job more local to home- bit of a backward step career wise- but massive improvement in work/ life balance

Original poster

gooseberryfooled · 25/09/2025 08:13

slanksy · 25/09/2025 08:11

As others have said it’s a pretty standard commute, and when the trains run it’s very workable. Because of my own experience, I’ll throw in office culture as a consideration. The commute for a productive and enjoyable day in the office is worth it, if you’re going into a half empty, soulless office, still meeting everyone on teams it can quickly become demotivating and you might resent the journey in.
Good luck! Hope it works out.

It's a lovely office, and many people chose to return full time after the end of lockdowns etc, so it's people who want to be there.

Thank you!

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TheNightingalesStarling · 25/09/2025 08:13

warmapplepies · 25/09/2025 07:57

I wasn’t concluding anything 🙄 just giving my opinion.

That’s £240 a month just on travelling to work two days a week.

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People wouldn't think anything of filling their car with fuel weekly for driving to and from work.

slanksy · 25/09/2025 08:11

As others have said it’s a pretty standard commute, and when the trains run it’s very workable. Because of my own experience, I’ll throw in office culture as a consideration. The commute for a productive and enjoyable day in the office is worth it, if you’re going into a half empty, soulless office, still meeting everyone on teams it can quickly become demotivating and you might resent the journey in.
Good luck! Hope it works out.

MakingPlans2025 · 25/09/2025 08:11

Millions of men work like this with stay at home partners. It’s fine if you don’t have to do drops offs etc

Sheiswaiting · 25/09/2025 08:10

warmapplepies · 25/09/2025 08:08

And what if it’s not?

My opinion is that £240 a month just on commuting is a lot of money and not something to take on lightly.

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Precisely!

So for you to say no way! before knowing the salary context…. Is surely a touch premature

warmapplepies · 25/09/2025 08:09

Motherhubbardscupboard · 25/09/2025 08:02

I live just outside London (30 mins train ride), half my town commutes in, probably many of them every day, and it's £30 a day plus £10 parking if you park. Totally normal!

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Normal maybe, but also bonkers!

slightlyoverbaked · 25/09/2025 08:09

Unfortunately it is also really important to factor in what would happen if you lost your job for any reason (redundancy etc). How easy would it be to find a job of the salary you would need and only two days in office. A sad reality of current climate.

warmapplepies · 25/09/2025 08:09

LavenderBlue19 · 25/09/2025 08:04

That's not unusual if you live outside London and commute in. I'm in Essex in what used to be thought of as a commuter town, and the train is about £35 a day. Pre-Covid I paid 5k per year for a session ticket. Thankfully I only have to be in once a week now.

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Oh, I know it’s not particularly unusual but if it’s a lot more than OP currently pays then it’s something that needs to be considered.

warmapplepies · 25/09/2025 08:08

Sheiswaiting · 25/09/2025 08:02

But if that was in the context of £215k salary?

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And what if it’s not?

My opinion is that £240 a month just on commuting is a lot of money and not something to take on lightly.

LavenderBlue19 · 25/09/2025 08:04

warmapplepies · 25/09/2025 07:57

I wasn’t concluding anything 🙄 just giving my opinion.

That’s £240 a month just on travelling to work two days a week.

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That's not unusual if you live outside London and commute in. I'm in Essex in what used to be thought of as a commuter town, and the train is about £35 a day. Pre-Covid I paid 5k per year for a session ticket. Thankfully I only have to be in once a week now.

FairKoala · 25/09/2025 08:04

I do commutes like that at least twice per week. I live in London and get asked to go to places that whilst relatively close in terms of mileage, they can involve 3 or 4 trains.

Was a bit pissed off recently when I was unbooked for a job that was considered too far from my home
It was mainly motorway driving and less time than my normal commute it would have been an easier place to get to.

Original poster

gooseberryfooled · 25/09/2025 08:03

itsgettingweird · 25/09/2025 08:01

Yes it’s doable.

You can also speak to your employer and ask about shorter day in the proviso you work on the train etc.

employers now are really good at the hybrid model compared to pre 2020 and seem to be keen on keeping people good at their role and adjusting for that.

But lots of people do 1.5 hrs each way 5 days a week so it’s not a mad idea and if you live the job and where you’re moving too you’ll be motivated!

My employer is very big on work/home balance - plenty of people work part time (with and without kids) and I already do two days where I start and finish early so I can collect DC and spend time with them, which they'd continue to honour.

OP posts:

Motherhubbardscupboard · 25/09/2025 08:02

warmapplepies · 25/09/2025 07:57

I wasn’t concluding anything 🙄 just giving my opinion.

That’s £240 a month just on travelling to work two days a week.

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I live just outside London (30 mins train ride), half my town commutes in, probably many of them every day, and it's £30 a day plus £10 parking if you park. Totally normal!