To think middle class people are the most insecure?

The new MC or those who made a lot of money can be.
2nd, 3rd, 4th, generation not so much.
Money is spread around much more so you might have a solicitor, Doctor, living in the same area as a builder or roofer, my Dbro lives in a property worth over a million, he’s not insecure or doesn’t try to be mc, he’s rich but still a wc builder who made good decisions.
My Dsis an accountant has neighbours who are professionals, sham’s or those inherited from their parents, construction workers, a real mix of people can now afford an 800,000 home.

In my experience, this is so true..and practically all of them deny it.

Jesus

What makes you think you’re middle class?

The middle class unlike the upper class don't have multiple generations of wealth to fall back on so they worry they're only one maybe two adverse life events away from losing all their status trappings, especially that of home ownership. For most middle class people, not owning a home would be a sign of personal failure and disaster.

Shit and goady thread! Clearly set up to wind people up

Oh yeah sorry misunderstood you thought £400 on one gift sounded crazy lol

I don't necessarily think living in a poor neighborhood means someone's poor there's a street I used to live on when I was going through a rough time financially. Big grand houses but 80% of them were split up bedsits or homeless shelters drug addicts and whole families in one room kind of thing. The other 20% were still whole houses with one family unit in worth over half a million kind of thing.

I guess £20 isn't too crazy if you don't know what other people are giving as gifts and don't want your child to be picked on for giving rubbish gifts.
It was a revelation to me when someone got my child just a £1 bag of sweets and didn't bother to wrap it that was the permission I needed to do the same thing for everyone else's brats 😂

Not everyone who is "middle class" cares about such nonsense.

We're adjacent to an area which is in the bottom 5% in the multiple indices of depravation. Families who are facing homelessness and who can't afford to take their kids on outings over the summer holidays (I chat to the mums so am aware of what's going for them) are still turning up at parties with generous gifts, I find it bonkers to be honest. Even when I invited one of DC2's friends to take a last minute place at DD3's party becuase a drop-out meant I had a paid-for place available, she still turned up with a £20 gift for DD3, even though she wasn't really a party guest as such. I have no idea how they are finding the cash. This is why I made the (offensive) assumption that there's a degree to which these gestures are a form of showyness.

And its not £400 on one gift- people seem to spend around £20- and usually its several bits in a gift bag rather than just one token item. With 20 kids in attendance, I've regularly taken £400 worth of large plastic objects from the B&M toy aisle home from a party. This year will be our first without doing a big class party, and am actually quite pleased to be at the end of all the madness on that scale.

Before we moved here I used to have a £10-ish budget for party gifts and would just give one item- that was with much better off MC friends who were all on high incomes. I daren't spend that little any more as the level of generosity inevitably means pressure to keep up with it (especially when folk know from my job and my address that I'm not struggling economically).

I would of thought they were the least insecure. The poor being stressed about money and the rich constantly trying to out do each other (bigger house, bigger car, bigger private jet)

@Canyousewcushions the people you know probably aren't as poor as you think if they're spending 400 on another kids party gift. I'm either poorer than I thought or an extreme stinge but other people's kids will be getting a bag of sweets for their birthday 🤣maybe something more if it's a best friend

Exactly, the OP used the term MC as if it has a definition, but these days it’s a melting pot and lines are more blurred. I wonder what they define as such… I agree with you.

@OneCheeryGreenHiker i disagree with that generalisation.
if you re insecure in your skin you ll need to show off because you may feel you have something to prove or you have a chip on your shoulder.

my husband and I work so he can retire in 4 yrs time. I ll keep on working because I went back to work after spending a long time raising my kids plus i own my company and it s quite fun! Love it. But my husband it tired now. So we have far less cash than many, but our retirements are practically paid for! And a cushion for the kids. So we have a smaller house in the next desirable area, we have less posh holidays, we drive a car that we will take to the ground, and we re very happy.

i was raised firmly upper MC and my husband firmly middle class. Kids are firmly upper MC. So given the above what does that tell you?
it s really not about class i abhorre that grouping.
it s about socio economics.

but who cares who is anxious. There will always be some people who needs to hide behind pretences and keeping up with Jones. It is sad, i am anxious about them because their retirements are going to very hard to live because they ll have to keep
on working if they want to keep with their debts.

Or they ‘worry about material things’ because they’re poor!

Inclined to suspect the people who are quickest to deny this of being the very people OP is talking about! People who are insecure about their social status are just the type to make a big thing of how secure they are.

That's said there are a lot of nuances, e.g. in my experience it's often lower middle class people who worry more about the big car and the fancy house, but perhaps also some people whose social circles begin to straddle the upper class divide. And we've all seen the young working class guys with the stupid "cool" haircuts and designer sportswear showing off their expensive cars, who are in reality probably struggling to pay the rent and don't own any furniture.

The super rich have similar troubles to the rest of us re kids and relationships. Money doesn’t solve all the problems and weirdly introduces more.

A few working class people I know don’t actually work. They are horrendously insecure. Partly due to the fact they are living on the breadline. Some other working class people I know work in a factory and are now feeling very insecure because they are polish and Farage is threatening to remove their visa if he gets in.

I mean talk about sweeping, I’ll thought out generalisations!

I think there is a point that the poor and working class aren't as anxious as there is less distance to fall financially and I guess will be acquainted with UC in some fqshion. I don't think it's insecurity but simply having to be sanguine about life's lot.

The people who worry about material things are the ones trying to be someone they're not regardless of class.

YABU. This doesn’t ring true to me.

Are they both born and raised in the UK?

I’m from a very working class background btw my father and mother were illiterate - from abject poverty. I’m the first generation to go uni. Mum and dad worked in factories. It’s quite astonishing tbh in one generation that I now send my kids to private school. The differentiator, having the opportunity to get a good education.

Would all teachers describe themselves as middle class? Not sure?

YABU simply because you are making the assertion that the working class are all "too poor to care" and this isn't true. I volunteer in a community hub/centre in a very wc area. The women who work there, I would consider to be working class. They certainly are not rich, but not poor either. They feel it's very important to wear certain brands, dress in a certain way, tell you how much everything cost them ("I'm raging I've just had to spend £25 on buying our Jonny a pencil case for starting year 1") and for your house to be decorated a certain way. Everything has to match, have a name and usually it's jumping on the latest trend. They make a lot of comments about how other women dress, the type of car they drive, whether their house is "done" or not. Under the "there's no airs or graces about me" facade there is a lot of insecurity. And they think that the volunteers (who are not usually local and are more MC I would say) "dress like tramps" because their clothing has no brand name emblazoned on it, or they don't recognize where the clothes are from.

Middle class is really common. Almost everyone I know is middle class. Some are like those you describe in your post but I wouldn't say everyone is that way. I personally find that lots of people live beyond there financial capability regardless of class. We live in a materialistic world where lots of people feel they need the latest, car, phone or plastic surgery.

These posts are always amusing, couldn't care less what people think, and not trying to compete with anyone. Sent kids to private school for better education, not to boast, and happily drive old car.