Devastated: boy keeps trying to touch DD's private parts

As well as the dsl, on a slightly different note, the school may have an ELSA, who might be able to help with supporting your dd to shout for help, and not worry what others might think. They can do lots of different role play to build confidence, They can also be a trusted point of contact for a child if they need to speak to an adult.

Big hugs to you OP. Of course you’re shaken up and a mess.

I would check with the teacher tomorrow that the school safeguarding lead is also involved in resolving this as they have specific training and experience.

Also remember that for privacy reasons they will not be able to tell you everything that is going on with this boy - anything they tell you will only relate to your DD and keeping her safe so you won’t know the full story. He sounds like something is going on in his home life or perhaps with extended family or friends and he also needs support in dealing with that.

You sound like you are handling this incredibly well and doing all the right things. If your workplace offers EAP it might be worth talking to someone about this to help you process it

Yes 100% report to police on 101. Also report to the governors. They should have someone who is responsible for safeguarding and needs to be heavily involved with the school being unable to ensure the children's safety in school.

Agree, you’ve got to be OP

You sound like you did all the right things, I hope you get the response you need in the morning. You can always put your thoughts in writing and given them to the teacher or read them out if it’s easier for you.

its also really good to journal this kind of stuff out of your head anyway as it will help to stop you ruminating on it and making you feel ill. I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight. Your little girl is safe at home where she is loved and you can go be a mama bear in the morning

if this boy is being abused telling the parents and giving the child a good talking to is definitely not going to help this poor child in any way shape or form. children do not play those sort of games without adult encouragement so the child is at best witnessing inappropriate behaviour in the home at worst well doesn't bare thinking about

I would contact the local child and family social services page at the council. Children displaying sexualised behaviour is always a problem and it’s not normal at all. (SW here) please go nuclear with the school. This should not be happening and the child needs to be kept away from other children.

I had something like this with my DD years ago. She told a teacher and they were hot on it. Child dealt with and my DD given supportm was so proud of her that she knew to tell someone.
My school were great.
She also started wearing shorts under skirts but girls do lots of cartwheels etc so it was more practical anyway
If the school hadn't done anything I would have went potty.
Big hugs

I experienced something like this when I was young- albeit not in school premises. I know this is sexual harassment but your daughter won’t understand that at her age- and she needs to experience that this and any consequences are not her fault. I didn’t understand why I wasn’t allowed to play at the house of someone I thought was my friend and I thought it was all my fault- until years later I realised it wasn’t. And then I started questioning what had been said by whom and about whom at the time.

The good news is she loves school and from what you said this hasn’t traumatised her up to now- so if you and the school work closely together you can ensure her safety and hopefully rebuild your confidence in them, without scaring her.

sendinglots of love- it’s every parents nightmare to send your child
off to school assuming they will be safe and then something like this happens.

my child had similar aged 5. They found it hard to say to the teachers straight away so they had a token in their bag/ pocket which the teachers/ playground staff knew meant something had happened & my child wanted to talk. It has now
stopped thankfully but the token reassured my child that they didn’t have to verbalise it potentially in front of others

Ask for a meeting first thing with the safeguarding lead and the head teacher. Im
so sorry this has happened to your daughter

This is really horrifying, but I'm confused, how would she have shown him pictures at preschool? He asked her to draw them or something? If so that sounds a bit more sinister, my son of that age only thinks to draw rainbows or houses... or scribbles!

I'd report to police. He's far too young to be displaying this behaviour, this is likely something that is being done to him and he is copying.

Obviously completely unacceptable and I'd be teaching my children that if someone tries to touch you there, you respond with as much violence as necessary and tell an adult. But that boy is a victim too, I'd stake money on it.

What is that poor child being subjected to at home to think this behavior is ok it obviously a learnt behavior from someone in the home be it mum or dad who knows

had similar with my dd age 4 in preschool. boy trying to touch her and asked her to show him pictures of her private parts. i reported as obvious safeguarding concern at home. since have totally separated him from her and spoke to his family - seems okay now but if it ever happens again i will be escalating it. makes me furious just thinking about it

Has your daughter got the confidence to go and tell a teacher as soon as it happens?
Maybe she has already told a teacher, if so what did they do at the time?
This situation is totally unacceptable and the school needs to be dealing with it a lot better than what they are!

I am so sorry OP.

I would be there first thing in the morning and want to know exactly how they were going to safeguard my daughter.

Any indications that they weren’t taking this seriously and I would be escalating the matter and keeping my child out of there until further notice.

Go in with her tomorrow and ask to speak to safe guarding.

Its not normal for a child to try and put hands down another's trousers. Ask what precautions are being taken to keep dd safe

She's so little and having to go through this. I would be watching how the school handle this very carefully. You may need to be a tiger for your daughter.

They should be looking into the boy's parents imo.

Fucking hell. Physical harassment is pushing over, pushing in line etc…. This is much more than that.
Needs reporting to police too, yes of course the boy is well under 10 so won’t arrest him but your child is not too young to be a victim. The police and social will want a good look at his home life….
Response from school is a disgrace. I’d not be sending my child there ever again, and I’d be reporting the safeguarding failure to Ofstead as well as education department at council. (Assuming council run - if academy the highest up email you can find).
No mention at all of what they’ll do to keep your daughter safe? Honestly I’d homeschool if this happened, maybe try a different school down the line , but as a minimum keep her off until you feel confident they understand they’ve got a duty to keep your daughter safe.
Obviously the boy needs to be kept in or supervised if out at play time as ideal solution, and I hope it doesn’t come across that I mean your daughter shouldn’t be punished by changing schools etc… BUT the schools response makes me think they don’t really want to do their duty of keeping children safe. I just wouldn’t want to send my child to a school I knew this happened to someone else, not alone my own child

Peer on peer abuse is increasing in schools it could be he's experienced something at home or seen something to act like this or it could be a child touching and crossing boundaries the two are different.

Regardless the school should have a safeguarding lead and policy you can ask to meet them and your child's teacher to discuss and if you're not satisfied, asked to speak to the School governor responsible for safeguarding