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Dentist said he'd report me

360 replies

Shmee1988 · 24/09/2025 19:14

So, my son is 13, he has adhd and suspected autism (awaiting assessment). Unfortunately his adult teeth have not grown straight at all. Some are almost twisted in his mouth and some have erupted on top of others. He was referred to an orthodontist 3 years ago. The wait list for NHS treatment is loooong and he finally had his first appointment yesterday. He is not thrilled at the prospect of braces but after alot of discussion he has realised its important and ideal to get it all done whilst hes still at school when some of his peers will also have them. The orthodontist did all of the Xrays and said he needs braces and qualifies for this on the NHS. He then turned to my son and said 'would you like braces?' to which my DS replied 'no'. The orthodontist then said he woukd need to see us again in 2 years time as my DS doesn't want braces so he wont fit them. I asked to have a private word with him and explained that part of DS sen is that he is very literal and that when he asked him if he would LIKE braces, he answered the question literally as if he was being asked if he would like to have to have braces and that he was not refusing treatment. He didn't care and told me that I need to start the referral process all over again and that it would be almost 5 years before he can get them fitted on the NHS due to the wait time. I asked him if I could have another word with DS so that son could explain he wasnt saying he wouldn't have them and he said no. He then went on to say that if I bought my son back and he still said he wouldn't like braces, he will report me. I thanked him for his time and left but I was so upset. Ds was upset and now that upset had turned to anger. Is he suggesting that advocating for a child to receive necessary treatment is akin to abuse if the child is anxious about it? Aren't all kids anxious about braces? I want to take this further and complain. Especially as my son will be almost an adult by the time his next appointment comes around. Opinions please? Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
katepilar · 24/09/2025 21:03

Motomum23 · 24/09/2025 19:37

My dentist reported us to social services once.... took my daughter in with a bad tooth, they said it needs to come out as a matter of urgency we will send you an appointment.... 18 months later I miss the appointment as they sent the letter for it with 3 days notice and we were away on holiday for a fortnight so didn't get the letter or get to the appointment. No calls, no texts, just a letter from social services asking me to call them as they had had a referral for neglect. I was spitting feathers as you can imagine. Social services spent 30 seconds on the phone and told me they had no concerns and they wouldn't be following up the complaint!

18 months for an urgent tooth extraction? omg.

M0ntezuma · 24/09/2025 21:02

TheQuirkyMaker · 24/09/2025 21:01

I'm with the dentist. Any treatment has risks and can be problematic, if your son refused treatment that's it. You could report the dentist for forcing treatment on him if there were complications in the future.

The son didn’t refuse treatment .

Gremlins101 · 24/09/2025 21:02

Sorry this has happened to you, the dentist is a bollocks. Literally noone in the world LIKES braces. They are a healthcare procedure!

TheQuirkyMaker · 24/09/2025 21:01

Littleblueridinghood · 24/09/2025 19:21

I'm with the dentist. Any treatment has risks and can be problematic, if your son refused treatment that's it. You could report the dentist for forcing treatment on him if there were complications in the future.

Clarabell77 · 24/09/2025 21:01

Littleblueridinghood · 24/09/2025 19:21

In each circumstance, the clinicians and parents come to a decision as to how to deal with the refusal on the basis of pragmatism.

At what point did the dentist do this?

stichguru · 24/09/2025 20:57

Report to PALS and see if there is a dental governing body. I'm pretty sure the dentist has acted illegally by denying treatment to your son based on his disability. He has directly presumed that your son is able to express a correct opinion and taken his inability to do so as a choice not to.

Littleblueridinghood · 24/09/2025 20:57

@FridayIsItFridayYet Both times they accepted that and we got him treatment, even though we had to hold him down...

I most sincerely hope that didn't happen OP......

FridayIsItFridayYet · 24/09/2025 20:55

We've had this exact issue both for dental treatment and vaccinations. I argued that if DS didn't want to be there, there would have been no way I could have got him into the appointment. The fact he walked in by himself showed he wanted the vaccination (just panicked once he was in the room and saw the needles). Same with dental treatment.

Both times they accepted that and we got him treatment, even though we had to hold him down...

I would kick up a massive fuss, because there is an optimum age for orthodontic treatment and if he has to go on the waiting list again he might well miss it.

M0ntezuma · 24/09/2025 20:55

Piepiebuttonpie · 24/09/2025 20:50

Yes kids can and do want braces. It is not about entitlement, if they want them, ND or not, they can have them. If they don't it's not worth any level of risk because (again!) braces are a COMPLETELY OPTIONAL treatment.
Also your anecdotal evidence of your kids never getting decay is worth nothing.

And again maybe educate yourself re ND, the orthodontist most definitely needs to and should be reported. ND kids can come across very literal and meaning can be mistaken. The mother( who knows her child best) tried to explain this and was ignored. Not ok.

Also kids are kids and the vast majority need a lot of support and encouragement re brace and retainer care.

MsTamborineMan · 24/09/2025 20:51

M0ntezuma · 24/09/2025 20:38

Why will she have to?

Are insinuating kids with SEN and ND that voice things very literally are somehow less capable as regards aftercare and should miss out on NHS treatment because it’s harder for them?

Most kids need prompting and support with after are.

No, that's not what I said at all. It was the PP who said the mother would help with the care. I'm saying a child needs to be motivated and engaged in their treatment to carry out the necessary care. A child who does not want braces, does not carry out the necessary care, is rarely compliant with say removal appliances and does not wear their retainers longterm.

Not to mention his appearance is being altered. That is something a child really has to want

Piepiebuttonpie · 24/09/2025 20:50

M0ntezuma · 24/09/2025 20:30

Oh don’t be ridiculous. The son did not expressly not want them as the op explained. My autistic daughter said similar. We all laughed and I explained her meaning. Our orthodontist was better trained as regards ND and listened .

All my children are ND and all had braces. They are entitled to them as much as NT children even though they need more support and time at home and at the dentist as regards going through care etc. None of my dc “wanted” braces, they say it as it is, but knew they needed to have them. Not one has a single cavity.

Yes kids can and do want braces. It is not about entitlement, if they want them, ND or not, they can have them. If they don't it's not worth any level of risk because (again!) braces are a COMPLETELY OPTIONAL treatment.
Also your anecdotal evidence of your kids never getting decay is worth nothing.

GinaandGin · 24/09/2025 20:49

Shmee1988 · 24/09/2025 19:14

So, my son is 13, he has adhd and suspected autism (awaiting assessment). Unfortunately his adult teeth have not grown straight at all. Some are almost twisted in his mouth and some have erupted on top of others. He was referred to an orthodontist 3 years ago. The wait list for NHS treatment is loooong and he finally had his first appointment yesterday. He is not thrilled at the prospect of braces but after alot of discussion he has realised its important and ideal to get it all done whilst hes still at school when some of his peers will also have them. The orthodontist did all of the Xrays and said he needs braces and qualifies for this on the NHS. He then turned to my son and said 'would you like braces?' to which my DS replied 'no'. The orthodontist then said he woukd need to see us again in 2 years time as my DS doesn't want braces so he wont fit them. I asked to have a private word with him and explained that part of DS sen is that he is very literal and that when he asked him if he would LIKE braces, he answered the question literally as if he was being asked if he would like to have to have braces and that he was not refusing treatment. He didn't care and told me that I need to start the referral process all over again and that it would be almost 5 years before he can get them fitted on the NHS due to the wait time. I asked him if I could have another word with DS so that son could explain he wasnt saying he wouldn't have them and he said no. He then went on to say that if I bought my son back and he still said he wouldn't like braces, he will report me. I thanked him for his time and left but I was so upset. Ds was upset and now that upset had turned to anger. Is he suggesting that advocating for a child to receive necessary treatment is akin to abuse if the child is anxious about it? Aren't all kids anxious about braces? I want to take this further and complain. Especially as my son will be almost an adult by the time his next appointment comes around. Opinions please? Thanks in advance.

I'd be asking in my complaint what training on neurodivergence the dentist has attended. I'm cross on your behalf

Isittimeformynapyet · 24/09/2025 20:47

Just ignore it. Hopefully it will get bored and go away 🤞🏻

Nanatobethatsme46 · 24/09/2025 20:46

limescale · 24/09/2025 20:40

There will be lots of her peers wearing them when she gets them. The bar for NHS braces is really high now. There needs to be a clinical need. When she has them hopefully she'll be mature enough to understand. 11 is pretty young though.

Thank you no one has ever mentioned it as a possibility that she would need them till now and shes been with the same dental practice since she was 1 so i was not expecting it but now they have said it i can see what they mean
Apparently they can have braces from age 7 but 9-16 is the best time to get them so the dentist says
We would need to go for nhs as just dont have the money to go private but i am hoping there will be others with them when the time comes and that she doesnt get teased
Its hard enough making the move to secondary without that added in too

scorpiogirly · 24/09/2025 20:45

This is the problem with giving children rights. You can blame the barmy left for this shit

Littleblueridinghood · 24/09/2025 20:45

pizzaHeart · 24/09/2025 20:42

This ^
and also add that dentist actually threatened to report you to social services when you tried to explain your son what’s going on.

Where did OP say that the dentist threatened to report her to Social Services?

Until now they haven't mentioned that piece of information.

Newname71 · 24/09/2025 20:43

Littleblueridinghood · 24/09/2025 20:19

No dentist is going to risk being reported to the GDC for not obtaining informed consent.
Don't forget there is a DSA (Dental Surgery Assistant) in the same room who will be noting all this down, keeping records and making sure correct procedures were followed. They also act as chaperones.

I’ve been a dental nurse for 37 years and I think the dentist was an arse!! If I were his nurse I’d have had something to say to him! He obviously hasn’t done the now compulsory autism awareness training.
Edited to add. I have 2 sons with ADHD and a niece with ASD and it’s as much my role to advocate for patients as it is to chaperone a dentist.

pizzaHeart · 24/09/2025 20:42

VikaOlson · 24/09/2025 19:29

Your son is being discriminated against because of his adhd and autism, the dentist is refusing treatment because your son's needs meant he didn't understand what he was being asked.

I would absolutely complain, was this a hospital orthodontist? I'd contact PALS.

This ^
and also add that dentist actually threatened to report you to social services when you tried to explain your son what’s going on.

limescale · 24/09/2025 20:40

Nanatobethatsme46 · 24/09/2025 20:37

Gosh this fills me with dread, at her last dental appointment a few weeks back my 9 year old was told she would need braces to straighten her teeth, and put on the referral list . Was told its around 2 years to be seen for nhs treatment.private braces ate 3-6 grand!
My daughter doesnt want braces but weve had the conversation that it will benefit the way her teeth look in the future and its best to get them while shes young .it will be worth it for her
Im sure if someone asked if she wanted braces she would say no
Im sure any kid would

There will be lots of her peers wearing them when she gets them. The bar for NHS braces is really high now. There needs to be a clinical need. When she has them hopefully she'll be mature enough to understand. 11 is pretty young though.

Littleblueridinghood · 24/09/2025 20:40

Isittimeformynapyet · 24/09/2025 20:38

@Littleblueridinghood

I see that OP clarified the point earlier. I'm going to have to withdraw my fulsome apology of some moments ago I'm afraid, although it could be read both ways. 🤝 (that's supposed to be a handshake, but it looks like a tiny pair of yellow Y-fronts)

OK that's fine - IMO it was rather ambiguous.

Finetoday · 24/09/2025 20:39

I had a similar experience - location near Chester.

So rude, laid it on thick all the drawbacks of the treatment, literally said he might need to brake her jaw. Gave her an easy option out.
Never once mentioned the benefits and basically shushed me up !
That was after years of waiting and a paid appointment.
Daughter never had the treatment.
Gutted as now she hates her teeth and hates smiling.

Isittimeformynapyet · 24/09/2025 20:38

Isittimeformynapyet · 24/09/2025 20:32

Apologies. You are quite right. I'll wind my neck in.

@Littleblueridinghood

I see that OP clarified the point earlier. I'm going to have to withdraw my fulsome apology of some moments ago I'm afraid, although it could be read both ways. 🤝 (that's supposed to be a handshake, but it looks like a tiny pair of yellow Y-fronts)

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 24/09/2025 20:38

I’m not sure you’d have gotten me out of the surgery without a fight to be honest.

M0ntezuma · 24/09/2025 20:38

MsTamborineMan · 24/09/2025 20:32

No life. He will need to wear retainers for life. Either a fixed retainer which creates additional oral hygeine or a removable retainer which he will need to wear every night. Obviously clean and replace as necessary

Is the mother really going to be picking bits of food out her sons braces or using an interdental brush every night between his back molars?

Why will she have to?

Are insinuating kids with SEN and ND that voice things very literally are somehow less capable as regards aftercare and should miss out on NHS treatment because it’s harder for them?

Most kids need prompting and support with after are.

Nanatobethatsme46 · 24/09/2025 20:37

Gosh this fills me with dread, at her last dental appointment a few weeks back my 9 year old was told she would need braces to straighten her teeth, and put on the referral list . Was told its around 2 years to be seen for nhs treatment.private braces ate 3-6 grand!
My daughter doesnt want braces but weve had the conversation that it will benefit the way her teeth look in the future and its best to get them while shes young .it will be worth it for her
Im sure if someone asked if she wanted braces she would say no
Im sure any kid would

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