Dentist said he'd report me

No. Just no. You don't have a clue what his teeth look like and even if you did you have no expertise to decide that. You're talking about a very very small number of extreme cases - and if he was that extreme he'd need it anyway! And even maxfacs surgery is almost always actually optional too. Just no.

I’ve not RTFT OP, but honestly, the orthodontist is being ridiculous. I have NT 16 & 13 yr olds, both currently with braces in their mouths. We’re 18 months into treatment and both of them would have responded ‘no’ to the question ‘do you want braces’ if asked 18 months ago. DD especially as she needed 4 extractions beforehand. They still would (obviously) prefer not to have braces - who would?

If asked the question ‘would you like to go ahead with braces’ both would have replied in the affirmative. Clearly those nuances are going to be harder for your son.

I don’t think any kid would want bracses would they?! But they can see the bigger picture as to why and how. He had already agreed with OP but when asked directly he said no because he took it literally.

My teeth cross over but as a child the dentist said it’s not medically necessary for a brace so that was the end of it and I wish to this day that my parents had pushed him for one, because I’ve always been self conscious of my smile and teeth. Loads of kids had them back then and whilst I wouldn’t have ‘wanted’ one, I would have had one knowing it would make my smile better in the long term.

The patient didn’t say any such thing (that I can see)
I think you may have misread.
OP actually said … “Yes, I tried and he interrupted me and told me that I couldn't force him. I wasnt trying to force him, I was reminding him of the conversations wed have and why it is important.
It was the dentist that mentioned forcing..

Really? I can’t find that in any of the OP’s posts!
This is what the dentist said…
“Yes, I tried and he interrupted me and told me that I couldn't force him. I wasnt trying to force him, I was reminding him of the conversations wed have and why it is important.”
Edited to add… forgot to quote PP 🙄

Hi OP,
I am a healthcare professional (not a dentist but very similar profession with Pxs). Our guidance laws are so wishy washy, if a px who has mental capacity has refused something we are physically not allowed to administer that treatment (even if SEN, as long as they have mental understanding and capacity).
Now the dentist in question went around this in a very wrong way, you are the parent and it should have been a 3 way conversation.
However if a px says no or we feel a px (sorry this means patient) has been co-erced we have to refuse otherwise we can be sued/have future complaints where a px has clearly said no and we’ve proceeded.
In your case I would probably get in contact with the practice manager and explain your situation, they can look into things further for you, you might need to get a letter from the GP to explain your child’s needs.
I know it’s absolutely ridiculous and the dentist should have explained this better but there is now a massive sue culture and everyone is unfortunately having to protect themselves from future complaints.

It doesn’t benefit his wellbeing to try and force a treatment on him that he doesn’t want and is not medically necessary.

They’re twisted and erupted on top of each other. Given his difficulties, it’s very likely that he’ll end up in a maxillofacial operating chair in five years time, wishing he’d had the braces.

I agree with others, he’s bang out of order for being so dismissive. You explained your DS takes things literally and that’s a well known ASD trait. Of course you would prefer him to have them sooner rather than later as it will be worse when he’s older and at least as you say, other kids will have them now. He’ll be more self conscious as an adult and then you’ll have to pay (or he’ll have to pay himself) If he doesn’t have braces then he’ll likely feel self conscious of his smile etc…. So having them sooner is the best option.

I’m raging on your behalf OP and I’d be calling the surgery tomorrow to explain that your sons well being is your priority!

I'm a dentist with a child with ASD. I'm slightly torn on this one. I understand your anger I'd be furious.
The orthodontist used the wrong question and then failed to acknowledge the literal answer he got back.
We are required to have undergone Autism awareness training as part of our ongoing professional development. Just because someone has done the training doesn't mean they're good at it.
Orthodontics is often difficult for kids to tolerate even without any potential sensory issues or neurodiversity. The child needs to want it hence the direct (albeit very badly phrased) question.
If this orthodontist is going to be the one doing the braces assuming you contact the practice/practice manager/PALS whichever route you go down and he is reoffered to start now, do you want him being the orthodontist? Does he have the skillset to ensure your DS copes well and is happy undergoing the treatment?

Yeah I guess if it happened the way op described he didn't handle the people side of it very well which isn't very nice. But I'm trying to point out how very low his threshold is for 'no' and why it is that way.
I'd imagine by asking him to come back he's hoping in a couple of years the child is a bit more mature and also motivated. The parent being enthusiastic for the braces doesn't count for much.

I think the dentist was right. By your own admission your kid was clear he didn't want braces and only after a lot of 'conversation' got his agreement. This could be seen ss coercive control, wearing him down to mske him agree yo your wishes.
You say he is not Gillick competent. Is he recognised as being cognitively delayed?

No- the patient said “you can’t make me”, which seems quite a clear refusal of consent.

Where on earth have you got that from? Seriously. No.

Was it the orthodontist who said this?
If a healthcare professional feels a child is “at risk” they have a safe guarding duty to report.
In this case, your son doesn’t sound “at risk” at all though.
You can’t really force a teenager to have orthodontic treatment. It’s an involved and long drawn out process. If oral hygiene isnt up to scratch, or the patient refuses to go to appointments ( I’ve seen this with SEN patients, I’ve seen it in patients without SEN) they can end up in a worse place than where they started with the fixed braces causing tooth decay and gum disease. He should be aware of this.
Can’t the orthodontist recall you in a month or so for a review after you’ve had chance to chat to your son? Rather than discharge you? This is what normally happens in the area I work. By that time your son may be more comfortable with the idea. The orthodontist doesn’t sound like they handled the situation well and I’d be upset too, poor you. Does potentially sound like they were maybe being a little quick to shorten their waiting list too
If you want to complain, DO NOT go straight to the GDC, that is for the most serious issues and is very heavy handed (if someone has suggested that in earlier posts).
You need to complain directly to the practice and they should address this with you. If you are still unsatisfied - you could speak to NHS England.

By OP’s description of his teeth, braces now will prevent surgery etc in the future

Bloody hell the dentist is an idiot. Definitely complain.

I see your point but the dentist didn’t lead the conversation as nicely as that. He bullied the parent into not being able to respond and have a proper conversation.

^ This

Even if you could stretch this to say the dentist is being cautious, he was very quick to jump to ‘no consent’. I’d expect as a minimum some questions to clarify understanding. Ie ‘do you realise this will mean you won’t have treatment and will have misaligned teeth’ or ‘I am taking your comment to mean you are not happy to proceed, is that correct?’

I don’t think you could possibly take that one line response to a singular question from a child with SEN as having fully explored their understanding of the situation and whether they were prepared to accept treatment.

I am currently involved in the care of an adult relative under section. The medical staff are fully explaining implications of procedures even though this individual lacks capacity. They are also being very persuasive in explaining why specific treatment is in their best interest. The dentist does appear to have come to a ‘non consent’ view rather quickly.

@Shmee1988 I'm feeling you should have sent the dentist to a dentist, with a punch on the mouth.

I’d presume safeguarding

Or you could call the referral centre.
0113 493 1920
Ask your dental practice for you DS’s unique referral reference number. Call the number above and ask if they can help. I call them frequently and they’re very helpful. They’d be able to advise if you can go to a different ortho practice (if that’s what you decide to do)

If he'd have said 'do you want braces' you'd be saying who the hell would WANT braces. It all amounts to the same thing. The child is not keen on the intervention but might go through with it for the long term benefits. Fine if this was a vaccine or something which actually benefits his health in some way. It does not, so what the orthodontist is looking for is someone completely sure and keen for braces.
To you, thinking of how long term it'd be great to have had the braces and have straight teeth, this might seem very pedantic. From the orthodontist's perspective it's introducing a completely unnecessary risk and he just won't do it if the person doesn't really really want it.

The dentist is a prick. Find another dentist.