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Original poster

Dentist said he'd report me

360 replies

Shmee1988 · 24/09/2025 19:14

So, my son is 13, he has adhd and suspected autism (awaiting assessment). Unfortunately his adult teeth have not grown straight at all. Some are almost twisted in his mouth and some have erupted on top of others. He was referred to an orthodontist 3 years ago. The wait list for NHS treatment is loooong and he finally had his first appointment yesterday. He is not thrilled at the prospect of braces but after alot of discussion he has realised its important and ideal to get it all done whilst hes still at school when some of his peers will also have them. The orthodontist did all of the Xrays and said he needs braces and qualifies for this on the NHS. He then turned to my son and said 'would you like braces?' to which my DS replied 'no'. The orthodontist then said he woukd need to see us again in 2 years time as my DS doesn't want braces so he wont fit them. I asked to have a private word with him and explained that part of DS sen is that he is very literal and that when he asked him if he would LIKE braces, he answered the question literally as if he was being asked if he would like to have to have braces and that he was not refusing treatment. He didn't care and told me that I need to start the referral process all over again and that it would be almost 5 years before he can get them fitted on the NHS due to the wait time. I asked him if I could have another word with DS so that son could explain he wasnt saying he wouldn't have them and he said no. He then went on to say that if I bought my son back and he still said he wouldn't like braces, he will report me. I thanked him for his time and left but I was so upset. Ds was upset and now that upset had turned to anger. Is he suggesting that advocating for a child to receive necessary treatment is akin to abuse if the child is anxious about it? Aren't all kids anxious about braces? I want to take this further and complain. Especially as my son will be almost an adult by the time his next appointment comes around. Opinions please? Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
NotToday1l · 25/09/2025 17:01

BeachLife2 · 25/09/2025 16:16

The report would be in relation to possible coercive control.

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Because a mother wanted her son ( who she had described as having terrible teeth) to get braces…..I think SS really have more important things to do with their time

DiscoBob · 25/09/2025 16:41

BeachLife2 · 25/09/2025 16:16

The report would be in relation to possible coercive control.

Show quote history

To SS? If she comes back with him and asks for braces again? It feels like he doesn't want to fit braces on this kid. God knows why as it's his job and the teeth are clearly misaligned. Seems ridiculous.

Of course if son actively refuses it then nobody can force him. But surely it's in his best interests and dentally necessary?

BeachLife2 · 25/09/2025 16:16

DiscoBob · 25/09/2025 12:52

Horrendous. He sounds like some horror movie character! Definitely complain.

And 'report you'? Who to? What the fuck for? Not forcing him to have braces? Or because he needs them but he doesn't want them?

The report would be in relation to possible coercive control.

NotToday1l · 25/09/2025 14:38

Shmee1988 · 25/09/2025 11:51

Thats the thing, I am not trying to second guess his motivations. He outright told me that my son said no to treatment and that is why he will not be continuing with treatment. That is not the case as DS said no such thing. All he did was very literally answer the question of 'would you LIKE braces' he said no, because he doesn't like the idea of having them. That is very different to withdrawing consent. Dont you agree?

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Yes, you are right, the Dentist was being very unreasonable and sounds like a difficult person, they confirmed they would have no qualms in reporting you ( for something you hadn’t done so you should have no qualms in reporting them for something that they actually did do….the Dentist also sounded like quite an unpleasant person

DiscoBob · 25/09/2025 12:52

Horrendous. He sounds like some horror movie character! Definitely complain.

And 'report you'? Who to? What the fuck for? Not forcing him to have braces? Or because he needs them but he doesn't want them?

Original poster
Shmee1988 · 25/09/2025 12:47

Littleblueridinghood · 25/09/2025 12:42

I have no idea and I don't know why you are still posting about this.

It seems to me you have 2 choices - either a) accept that you're not going to get treatment with this dentist and find another one - which still doesn't guarantee treatment and you may have to pay privately

b). put a complaint in to the surgery (after requesting a copy of their complaints procedure) then escalate to the General Dental Council if you are still not happy. Again this doesn't guarantee that he will get treatment.

Your choice.

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I have no idea as to why you are still replying if thats how you feel. I am replying to people that have commented. Is that not the entire point of a conversation?

OP posts:
Littleblueridinghood · 25/09/2025 12:42

Shmee1988 · 25/09/2025 11:51

Thats the thing, I am not trying to second guess his motivations. He outright told me that my son said no to treatment and that is why he will not be continuing with treatment. That is not the case as DS said no such thing. All he did was very literally answer the question of 'would you LIKE braces' he said no, because he doesn't like the idea of having them. That is very different to withdrawing consent. Dont you agree?

Show quote history

I have no idea and I don't know why you are still posting about this.

It seems to me you have 2 choices - either a) accept that you're not going to get treatment with this dentist and find another one - which still doesn't guarantee treatment and you may have to pay privately

b). put a complaint in to the surgery (after requesting a copy of their complaints procedure) then escalate to the General Dental Council if you are still not happy. Again this doesn't guarantee that he will get treatment.

Your choice.

Original poster
Shmee1988 · 25/09/2025 11:51

Littleblueridinghood · 25/09/2025 07:19

I no longer understand what the poster is/isn't trying to say. IMO Some of the posts are rather ambiguous.

This is why there is always a dental assistant in the surgery not only to assist, but to record what was and wasn't said/done.

At the end of the day the health professional has the choice, using their professional judgement, as to whether or not they provide treatment.

If the OP isn't happy then they are free to raise the matter with the practice or seek another (private) dentist.

Trying to second guess the dentists motivations isn't helpful.

Edited
Show quote history

Thats the thing, I am not trying to second guess his motivations. He outright told me that my son said no to treatment and that is why he will not be continuing with treatment. That is not the case as DS said no such thing. All he did was very literally answer the question of 'would you LIKE braces' he said no, because he doesn't like the idea of having them. That is very different to withdrawing consent. Dont you agree?

OP posts:
Original poster
Shmee1988 · 25/09/2025 11:47

UnicornLand1 · 25/09/2025 10:56

So if I take my 10 y.o. to the dentist to take his decayed tooth out and he says he doesn't like the idea then the dentist will not do it? Is there an age threshold here? How about 5 y.o.?

He told me age doesn't matter. Its crazy.

OP posts:
UnicornLand1 · 25/09/2025 10:56

So if I take my 10 y.o. to the dentist to take his decayed tooth out and he says he doesn't like the idea then the dentist will not do it? Is there an age threshold here? How about 5 y.o.?

sundaychairtree · 25/09/2025 10:10

BeachLife2 · 24/09/2025 22:16

The Gillick criteria for being able to give consent don’t come into it, as it is not a lifesaving procedure.

No dentist could or should force a patient who doesn’t want braces to have them. He very much can withhold consent.

Edited
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I thought the original Gillick case concerned contraception not life and death treatment?

Baggyit · 25/09/2025 09:15

edwinbear · 24/09/2025 21:49

I’ve not RTFT OP, but honestly, the orthodontist is being ridiculous. I have NT 16 & 13 yr olds, both currently with braces in their mouths. We’re 18 months into treatment and both of them would have responded ‘no’ to the question ‘do you want braces’ if asked 18 months ago. DD especially as she needed 4 extractions beforehand. They still would (obviously) prefer not to have braces - who would?

If asked the question ‘would you like to go ahead with braces’ both would have replied in the affirmative. Clearly those nuances are going to be harder for your son.

Same here. Infact because both of mine were purely for vanity reasons I was the kne asking do you really want the hassle of this.

As an aside, the water flosser has been the greatest gift to help keep them clean.

MuffinsAreJustCakesAtBreakfast · 25/09/2025 09:08

BeachLife2 · 25/09/2025 08:25

Thank god we now live in more enlightened times where children have rights over their own treatment 😳

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Well, mum made the correct decision for me when I was not mature enough to make the correct decision for my long term benefit.

and I'm very grateful that as an adult I'm not having to pay thousands to have my teeth sorted.

parents make decisions all the time for their children that the kids don't want to do but that will benefit them long term.

I didn't much fancy going to school ages 7ish-11...mum still made me.

CinnamonBuns67 · 25/09/2025 08:44

Yanbu. I'd be making a complaint about 1. The lack of understanding around SEN and refusing to ask the question properly in a way your son would understand and 2. The threat to report you.

BeachLife2 · 25/09/2025 08:25

MuffinsAreJustCakesAtBreakfast · 25/09/2025 07:30

Well thank god this wasn't in place when I had mine.

Me: No

My mum: she's having them. End of.

Orthodontist: okay let's get started

know what? Mum was right. Obviously

Show quote history

Thank god we now live in more enlightened times where children have rights over their own treatment 😳

rwalker · 25/09/2025 08:15

I think it’s one of them you had to be there
ultimately the health care professional wouldn’t carry out a procedure against the patients will
if there is SEN then this should be documented previously so the dentist aware then it can be dealt with accordingly
sounds like nothing documented no official diagnosis as waiting assessment
tbh the dentist would be stupid just to take OP’s word for it risk litigation and potentially be struck off and lose the career

toonananana · 25/09/2025 08:05

Please put this in a formal complaint to the hospital. The orthodontist was being a wanker.

stichguru · 25/09/2025 08:00

All these people who are saying the dentist was right, show me the kids who the dentist has confirmed do not need braces for any clinic reason, but BEG their dentist to give them braces because they are desperate for them as a fashion accessory or for comfort or some other reason!

I think you'll find that hard. No-one WANTS braces. They accept they NEED braces because they UNDERSTAND their dentists' clinical explanation of how and why their teeth will be helped by them. Because they UNDERSTAND the long-term benefit of braces, they put effort into LEARNING how to care for them.

The dentist's attitude, and refusal to explain braces appropriately to the child's understanding, has denied this child the opportunity to UNDERSTAND he NEEDS braces, UNDERSTAND the BENEFITS of them, and LEARN how to take care of them properly. This is blatant discrimination on the grounds of disability and is illegal under the Equality Act of 2010.

Lucy2586 · 25/09/2025 07:36

Shmee1988 · 24/09/2025 19:14

So, my son is 13, he has adhd and suspected autism (awaiting assessment). Unfortunately his adult teeth have not grown straight at all. Some are almost twisted in his mouth and some have erupted on top of others. He was referred to an orthodontist 3 years ago. The wait list for NHS treatment is loooong and he finally had his first appointment yesterday. He is not thrilled at the prospect of braces but after alot of discussion he has realised its important and ideal to get it all done whilst hes still at school when some of his peers will also have them. The orthodontist did all of the Xrays and said he needs braces and qualifies for this on the NHS. He then turned to my son and said 'would you like braces?' to which my DS replied 'no'. The orthodontist then said he woukd need to see us again in 2 years time as my DS doesn't want braces so he wont fit them. I asked to have a private word with him and explained that part of DS sen is that he is very literal and that when he asked him if he would LIKE braces, he answered the question literally as if he was being asked if he would like to have to have braces and that he was not refusing treatment. He didn't care and told me that I need to start the referral process all over again and that it would be almost 5 years before he can get them fitted on the NHS due to the wait time. I asked him if I could have another word with DS so that son could explain he wasnt saying he wouldn't have them and he said no. He then went on to say that if I bought my son back and he still said he wouldn't like braces, he will report me. I thanked him for his time and left but I was so upset. Ds was upset and now that upset had turned to anger. Is he suggesting that advocating for a child to receive necessary treatment is akin to abuse if the child is anxious about it? Aren't all kids anxious about braces? I want to take this further and complain. Especially as my son will be almost an adult by the time his next appointment comes around. Opinions please? Thanks in advance.

Oh this happened to me and my daughter said no and I said yes she does. She got them and her teeth are perfect now. She was 11 it’s utterly ridiculous the way they go on now.

MuffinsAreJustCakesAtBreakfast · 25/09/2025 07:30

Littleblueridinghood · 24/09/2025 19:21

The dentist is following the correct consent protocol.

https://www.uhs.nhs.uk/health-professionals/clinical-law-updates/children-refusing-treatment

Well thank god this wasn't in place when I had mine.

Me: No

My mum: she's having them. End of.

Orthodontist: okay let's get started

know what? Mum was right. Obviously

Dancingsquirrels · 25/09/2025 07:27

M0ntezuma · 24/09/2025 20:38

Why will she have to?

Are insinuating kids with SEN and ND that voice things very literally are somehow less capable as regards aftercare and should miss out on NHS treatment because it’s harder for them?

Most kids need prompting and support with after are.

Show quote history

After braces, you do need a lifetime retainer, to prevent teeth moving again

Littleblueridinghood · 25/09/2025 07:19

Beenwhereyouareagain · 25/09/2025 02:18

*Littleblueridinghood · Yesterday 19:21
The dentist is following the correct consent protocol.

Isn't the poster agreeing with you that your son's dentist isn't following protocol correctly?

Show quote history

I no longer understand what the poster is/isn't trying to say. IMO Some of the posts are rather ambiguous.

This is why there is always a dental assistant in the surgery not only to assist, but to record what was and wasn't said/done.

At the end of the day the health professional has the choice, using their professional judgement, as to whether or not they provide treatment.

If the OP isn't happy then they are free to raise the matter with the practice or seek another (private) dentist.

Trying to second guess the dentists motivations isn't helpful.

Beenwhereyouareagain · 25/09/2025 02:18

Shmee1988 · 24/09/2025 19:37

He isnt what sorry?

Show quote history

*Littleblueridinghood · Yesterday 19:21
The dentist is following the correct consent protocol.

Isn't the poster agreeing with you that your son's dentist isn't following protocol correctly?

Daygloboo · 25/09/2025 00:21

Shmee1988 · 24/09/2025 19:14

So, my son is 13, he has adhd and suspected autism (awaiting assessment). Unfortunately his adult teeth have not grown straight at all. Some are almost twisted in his mouth and some have erupted on top of others. He was referred to an orthodontist 3 years ago. The wait list for NHS treatment is loooong and he finally had his first appointment yesterday. He is not thrilled at the prospect of braces but after alot of discussion he has realised its important and ideal to get it all done whilst hes still at school when some of his peers will also have them. The orthodontist did all of the Xrays and said he needs braces and qualifies for this on the NHS. He then turned to my son and said 'would you like braces?' to which my DS replied 'no'. The orthodontist then said he woukd need to see us again in 2 years time as my DS doesn't want braces so he wont fit them. I asked to have a private word with him and explained that part of DS sen is that he is very literal and that when he asked him if he would LIKE braces, he answered the question literally as if he was being asked if he would like to have to have braces and that he was not refusing treatment. He didn't care and told me that I need to start the referral process all over again and that it would be almost 5 years before he can get them fitted on the NHS due to the wait time. I asked him if I could have another word with DS so that son could explain he wasnt saying he wouldn't have them and he said no. He then went on to say that if I bought my son back and he still said he wouldn't like braces, he will report me. I thanked him for his time and left but I was so upset. Ds was upset and now that upset had turned to anger. Is he suggesting that advocating for a child to receive necessary treatment is akin to abuse if the child is anxious about it? Aren't all kids anxious about braces? I want to take this further and complain. Especially as my son will be almost an adult by the time his next appointment comes around. Opinions please? Thanks in advance.

Yes you need to report this to someone. I dint think the dentist has behaved well. I suspect he / she just doesn't want to be involved..