Dentist said he'd report me

If my kids had their way they wouldn’t have brushed their teeth for 18 years!

Complain to the practice manager.

Yes .Exactly that .My reply was far too brief

I would argue that child with ADHD and ASD probably isn’t gillick competant.

Our dentist was great. When I phoned to cancel and said I didn't think my daughter would cope with braces, she has DS, they said to bring her in anyway and they'd explain everything to her with my help and we'd go from there. She's had braces now for 4 months and has coped really well. I really should not have underestimated her.

Do you mean the dentist is not following the correct consent protocol?

Wrong! It was the dentist who interrupted and said that - not the son 🙄

My son has additional needs, quite similar to yours I suspect. When my dentist referred him, he had to wait quite a long time but that was because they referred him to an orthodontist who specialises in children with SEN. I'm not sure on the protocol to get referred, but that is what you should request. Sadly it means you will have to wait a while, but you shouldn't get these issues next time. He had a lot of extra appointments to go through what would happen, extra help to ensure good hygiene, etc. You've been treated very badly so I'd consider finding another dentist, if that's possible in your area, to request that. Very best of luck.

There's a weird irony here in someone asking a figurative question and then being bizarrely literal-minded in their insistence that the response must be figurative, and being unable to accept that it was a literal one...

@Shmee1988 He really was ready to have them but the dentist didn't give either of us the chance to properly explain.

But he wasn't was he? You said "he interrupted me and told me that I couldn't force him."

That sounds like a "no" to me.

This. my teen who is much older at 17 is currently in the process of getting braces fitted on the NHS after a long 5 year wait. She still says she doesn't wants braces but is willingly going ahead because she knows she needs them and wants lovely straight teeth. like you say nobody really wants to have the hassle of braces in their mouth. Im another that also thought maybe its a way he can reduce his NHS patient list.

Disgraceful.
Absolutely complain.
Self report to SS and tell them exactly what he was asked.
Absolutely disgusting behaviour from a dentist that clearly has form.
No child wants bloody braces, they are a dose.
But they are capable of seeing the larger picture and accept they are necessary.

You stated clearly your child has SEN.
I am furious on your behalf.
I really consider what he has done needs reporting to multiple bodies.

I would take it he deliberately threatened you with reporting you, to intimidate and shut you down.

I would be asking specifically onnwhat basis.
He asked would he "like" not "want".

You need to be a completely nousy PITA about this.

So upsetting for you and your son.

My son has ASD and goes to a specialist dentist, doesn't sound like this one has a clue. Is it possible to look for a specialist dentist in your area? Some of the facebook parents groups for ADHD etc might know?

Sounds like the orthodontist just wanted to get rid of another patient from the NHS waiting list. Worth trying to sort it out now otherwise you will find he will have to pay for private treatment later.

That is unbelievably frustrating, especially after a long wait.

I would start by acting under the assumption that the orthodontist thought he was practicing appropriate consent protocol but has a piss poor understanding of autism and is shite at recognizing in the moment when he's got it wrong. Contact the practice manager and explain the situation from this point of view, with an attitude that says "I know everyone meant well and this was an honest mistake that I have no doubt you'll be eager to help fix." Either email or call and then send a follow up email referencing the date and time of the call and summarizing what you said. I'd go with some version of "I'm sure this orthodontist was focused on the importance of consent, but not making adjustments for my son's disability has unfortunately kept him from accessing appropriate treatment due to his disability. Here's the background information that was missing and my specific request for how we can fix this."

It's entirely possible that the orthodontist was just looking for a reason to refuse or that the practice will dig their heels in to avoid being wrong about something, but there isn't anything to lose by starting with this approach and it's often far more effective than jumping to the formal complaint stage. You can always escalate when the "Hey, I view us as being on the same team so let's solve this mixup together" approach doesn't work but it's almost impossible to de-escalate and find a cooperative relationship after going the angry complaint route.

Sorry - that was far too brief a reply . The orthodontist is not following proper protocol .
He should be working with you and your son to ensure he ( the orthodontist) properly understands your son’s wishes after you have explained that your son answers questions in a very literal way .
You don’t appear to be coercing your son to undergo orthodontic treatment . From what you’ve posted he can see the benefits of and desires the outcomes of a properly functioning occlusion .

I totally get your son. I will never forget when I was about 5 going for tea at a friend's house. Her mum asked me if I liked cucumber and I said "yes". She frowned at me and barked "yes PLEASE!"

My mum explained to a tearful me that people don't always mean the exact thing they say.

I'm still very literal. I don't have a diagnosis.

@Littleblueridinghood yes, you were not in the room so you can't universally declare the dentist was following the correct procedure - but you did.

This.

The dentist is discriminating against your son. Anyone with half a brain understands the difference between the questions “do you want braces?” And “do you consent to braces?” A person with ASD of any age will absolutely answer those questions differently.

as an adult with ASD I might say, “i don’t want braces, but i understand that i need them” as a response, but i can’t be imprecise.

I think your first port of call is a conversation with the practice manager, explain the situation and ask if there is a different orthodontist that you could have a second opinion appointment with. This might not be the first complaint that they've had about his manner...

Jeez Louise the Dentist sounds like a twat. I’m terrified of the dentist but went last week and have two follow up appointments for a deep clean with local anaesthetic. If she’d asked me did I WANT the deep clean then my honest answer would be no too, but I know I need to have it, as your DS does!

Definitely contact pals. I'm not saying your son needs it, but for examples of how to communicate, you should look up examples of hie to communicate in capacity assessments.

But he is not, is he? The son didnt refuse to consent to treatment, his mum explained he had answered the question literally, "would you like braces". A reasonable professional with a knowledge of how to behave with non neurotypical patients would understand this and adjust, not just refuse to check their understanding.

That’s shocking, OP. Sounds like disability discrimination. The dentist did not take your DS’s capacity and communications needs into account and did not adjust for them, even after you’d explained the situation in person.

Are there any charities you’re involved with for DC’s ADHD and autism who may be able to help?

That's ridiculous. You could report him right back!!