Dentist said he'd report me

I take your point, but that isn’t the case with all diagnoses. I said MANY children don’t get diagnosed until much later, not ALL. I’m glad your relatives were lucky enough to receive a timely diagnosis and hopefully get the assistance they need. I have been battling the system for over 10 years to get my high-functioning DS the help he needs. He was utterly failed at school, and would have had exactly the same problems as the OP if he’d needed braces based on your logic. Now, we are so late to the party that he can’t get assistance as a child (he’ll be 18 by the time the waiting list allows this) and he can’t get help as an adult until he’s 18, at which point the whole saga starts again. He also has a diagnosis so there are clearly huge gaps in the system.

Yes but this is all irrelevant because the OP has no diagnosis for her DS- you are not going to get leeway for neurodiversity which is currently just the OP's opinion.
I would also politely point out Lunaticmess I have 2 close relatives diagnosed with autism, both diagnosed in childhood- it simply isn't true it takes until adulthood to get a diagnosis.

Gillick competence isn’t an “age thing”
each child has to be assessed as an individual, they have to be deemed to have enough intelligence, competence and understanding to fully appreciate what’s involved in the treatment.
My DS has been 45 since he was about 11 😂, my autistic niece on the other be hand even at 17 couldn’t be left to make decisions for herself.
Edited to add I’ve quoted the wrong person!!
meant to quote @Laurmolonlabe

Good luck, we all struggle with huge waiting lists- and that often means decisions are made a little hastily.

Am I right in thinking that if the dentist had rephrased the question, (e.g."Do you agree to having braces so we can straighten your teeth?") DS would likely have responded differently? I think you should see if there is some way of pursuing this so you don't have to end at the bottom of the pile.

I am not ND but I wish my mum and dentist had done more to persuade me to have braces when I was a teen - rather than being in my mid 40s and forking out £££ for Invisalign because I am self conscious about my crooked teeth. Even back in the 90s, if a child was adamant they didn't want treatment it wouldn't go ahead - but there is a huge difference between saying you don't wouldn't like something and being dead against it.

Yet again you are showing ignorance with this comment. Many kids aren’t diagnosed until way later, sometimes not until they are adults. The waiting list for an ASD diagnosis is currently almost as long as the orthodontic waiting list. If you’re going to make bold statements like this, I strongly suggest you do some research. This is simply unhelpful and incorrect.

You haven't done anything wrong, but I wouldn't expect results.
I think the dentist in question, although brusque, followed the code of practise- a child over 10 years old is considered able to give informed consent, relying on your beliefs about your son's neurodiversity will not be considered if he has no diagnosis.
Autism is usually diagnosed aged between 3-8, so you are unlikely to be able to use this as an explanation or leverage.

Very similar happened to me as a teen. Several years on the waiting list and then when I saw the orthodontist with my Mum he asked me what I was there for - I explained my very crooked teeth and innocently said “I’d prefer not to have fixed braces if possible, I’d prefer the ones you can take on and off”. And the dentist just lost it, saying that he was throwing us out due to my rudeness and unwillingness to listen to his advice.

We tried to politely plead with him, saying that I was open to options, I just was saying that innocently as a teenage kid! But he wasn’t haven’t any of it, refused to treat me. It was shocking - I was honestly a very polite, shy, well behaved kid, wouldn’t say boo to a goose, never got in trouble at school. I can hand on heart say that I wasn’t rude in any way whatsoever.

I can only guess that he was having a really bad day and took it out on us. Anyway my Mum never took it further and so I never got braces as a kid. It cost me thousands to get them fixed as an adult. So as someone who went through the same, please @Shmee1988 advocate for your child, complain, ask to be seen by another dentist.

@Shmee1988 I never said you had "done something wrong", so I have nothing to share.

Way back up the thread I gave you two scenarios that, IMO, you could embark upon.

You have had 14 pages of input from posters since then.

I am glad you have finally reached a decision about how to progress this matter and I hope you are able to achieve a satisfactory outcome.

So what are you going to do now OP?

AI Overview

Yes, an orthodontist can refuse to treat a 13-year-old, but the reasons must be clinically justified and documented, focusing on the patient's eligibility and the orthodontist's ability to treat them effectively and in their best interest.

Reasons for refusal may include the child not meeting the Index of Orthodontic Treatment Need (IOTN) criteria for NHS treatment, which determines medical necessity, or if the practice has a long waiting list and cannot accommodate them.

It's also possible to be refused private treatment if the orthodontist determines the patient's issues are too minor for treatment, though this is less common.

To complain about a dentist in the UK, you must first determine if the treatment was NHS or private. For private treatment, contact the practice manager, and if unresolved, use the Dental Complaints Service (DCS). For NHS treatment, contact your local, NHS service provider,like the Integrated Care Board (ICB) in England or your local Health Board in Wales.If you're still not satisfied, you can escalate your complaint to the Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman (PHSO) or the. Public Services Ombudsman for Wales. For serious concerns about a dental professional's fitness to practice, contact the General Dental Council (GDC)

Could be the dentist made an excuse not to treat your ds. You could try another, or save and go privately.

Of course we’re only getting one side of the story. That’s the nature of a forum like this.

You might be able to interpret what OP has said in a way that is in keeping with the orthodontist acting appropriately, in which case it would be really good for you to give that perspective.

But if the only way to do that is to assume the OP is making stuff up, or that relevant things happened that the OP hasn’t mentioned, then you are responding to a scenario which you are making up without the benefit of having been there or having your loved ones impacted, which is worse than taking OP’s report at face value, even if (and I’m not suggesting this is the case) her account isn’t 100%.

Has anyone considered the possibility that that orthodontist has correctly declined to treat a patient who is not motivated for treatment who will not comply enough to cope with treatment? We are only getting one side of the story here….

No it doesn’t end badly for everyone it ensures that abelist crap and discrimination like this doesn’t happen.

more people suggesting solicitor or GDC as first point of call than a calm and measured email to the orthodontist to explain fully and ask them to reconsider?? The world has gone mad - no wonder there is a dental shortage in this country.

if you emailed the orthodontist they may even explain their rationale better and you may end up agreeing with their decision or they may reconsider.

if you go in all guns blazing with a discrimination claim this ends badly for everyone and best case scenario you’re visiting the orthodontist once a month and it’s anxious and awful for everyone involved

It seems that now you're being a mind reader !

In fact, it would seem that he chose to ask the question that would get him the answer he "wanted", instead.....

Yes, so what's the problem?

Did you even read the original post? 🤯

And therein lies the age-old problem. The waiting list for an ASD diagnosis is bloody ridiculous too.