Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Really embarrassing poo question

186 replies

Donetrying1 · 24/09/2025 18:36

l can't believe l'm typing this but l am! Full disclosure, l have a GP appointment next Thursday so l'm doing the right thing but just wondered if anyone at all had ever had problems getting themselves clean after a bowel movement??
l open my bowels, use either wet wipes or that Wype gel and 'think' l'm clean. I then go for a wee a little while later and it's like l've never wiped at all! I then have to go through the whole palaver and this can happen 2 or 3 times. It never used to happen so something has changed, although no clue what! I'm in my early 60's sometime constipated so l take Movicol which makes it softer, otherwise l'm at a loss to explain it, hence the GP appointment. Just wondering if anyone else has had the same? Sorry if this is TMI! But thanks anyone in advance!

OP posts:
ButterfliesnWaterfalls · 24/09/2025 22:19

Why not use something like this? Only a few quid.

Really embarrassing poo question
LillyPJ · 24/09/2025 22:19

Saladbar · 24/09/2025 22:13

Pelvic organ prolapse. Google rectocele and your symptoms.

Never Google symptoms!

saynotofondant · 24/09/2025 22:13

Familynightmare1 · 24/09/2025 21:59

Naturally you'd put it a double check no return vavlve.

The plumber in the video linked earlier said that a double check no return valve is not sufficient. They are only for use up to category 3 water, and toilet bowl water is category 5. So it still wouldn’t be up to code.

Saladbar · 24/09/2025 22:13

Pelvic organ prolapse. Google rectocele and your symptoms.

LillyPJ · 24/09/2025 22:08

JoeTheDrummer · 24/09/2025 21:54

A squirt of witch-hazel on the toilet paper is a good eco-friendly alternative to wipes.

Yes - or you can just use a bit of tap water on the toilet paper.

AzureCats · 24/09/2025 22:08

You can get hand held bidets that have their own water tank integrated. They look suspiciously like water flossers and electric toothbrushes so don't get them muddled up first thing in the morning 😂

JustCabbaggeLooking · 24/09/2025 22:06

@PigletJohn

JustCabbaggeLooking · 24/09/2025 22:05

These hosepipe problems require the bat-signal for @PigletJohn

Familynightmare1 · 24/09/2025 21:59

Wishiwasatailor · 24/09/2025 21:58

@Familynightmare1 its because the hose could fall in the toilet bowl and because if the negative pressure toilet water could get into the pipe contaminating the water supply pipe

Naturally you'd put it a double check no return vavlve.

Chiseltip · 24/09/2025 21:58

Jcak · 24/09/2025 19:12

can you explain this more please? Is it all hoses or just this one?

All of them.

Wishiwasatailor · 24/09/2025 21:58

@Familynightmare1 its because the hose could fall in the toilet bowl and because if the negative pressure toilet water could get into the pipe contaminating the water supply pipe

Chiseltip · 24/09/2025 21:57

BreezyPeachGoose · 24/09/2025 18:41

The UK is so antiquated, go a bit more SE Asian:

https://ebay.us/m/QkLJGW

Best £10 you'll ever spend.

Those are illegal in the UK.

It's a huge fine if you're found to have fitted one of those. 5k I believe.

You can't just install one on your water pipes. You need council approval and separate water system that's not connected to the mains.

Familynightmare1 · 24/09/2025 21:54

coldandflu · 24/09/2025 18:53

Not up to UK code. Don't use. You'll be drinking poo water

It's for washing her arse. Not sure how she'll be drinking it.

JoeTheDrummer · 24/09/2025 21:54

A squirt of witch-hazel on the toilet paper is a good eco-friendly alternative to wipes.

scorpiogirly · 24/09/2025 21:50

Beekman · 24/09/2025 21:10

There is literally nothing there when you’re done. It’s quite a powerful jet so just hoses anything off. The automatic ones have different settings for front and back bum, it gets it all.

What about the drying scenario?

Anotherdayanotherpound · 24/09/2025 21:44

outingouting · 24/09/2025 21:12

I’m early 40s and had this for years. I was reminded by me buying white thongs for the first time in a decade. I’ve got arse lips or whatever they’re called from old piles.

I’ll make sure I have wet wipes for when I start dating again.

it is usually a secret for me and myself, and now the millions on MN.

that reminds me, I’m due a name change soon.

😂

Muffsies · 24/09/2025 21:43

LillyPJ · 24/09/2025 21:26

I also agree. A consultant told that we need to eat more fibre. I thought I was eating plenty but I upped my intake. My digestive system is now a lot better for it and I've lost some weight.

👍 it does make a massive difference to general health.

Anotherdayanotherpound · 24/09/2025 21:43

Walkden · 24/09/2025 19:52

"Not watched the video but I'm guessing there's no non return valve in it,"

A non return valve is not sufficient for category 5 waste water an air gap is needed.. whatever device you buy needs wras approval or to be supplied for a separate water tank.

Genuine question. If you have a poo and a cursory wipe, then a full shower that gets everything properly clean (basically your usual morning shower) if there’s poo left on your bum that you’re showering off, technically there’s a risk you contaminate your water system? How? 😬 I should probably watch the video…

LillyPJ · 24/09/2025 21:26

Muffsies · 24/09/2025 21:21

I agree. You should be eating loads of fresh veg, wholegrains and nuts, lentils, etc. Every day. Cut down on processed carbs like bread, pasta, and fatty foods.

I also agree. A consultant told that we need to eat more fibre. I thought I was eating plenty but I upped my intake. My digestive system is now a lot better for it and I've lost some weight.

Muffsies · 24/09/2025 21:21

Dogsandhens · 24/09/2025 19:06

If it's not a medical issue it could be too much fat in your diet and not enough fibre. I read somewhere that if you have to wipe more than twice, this could be a solution.

I agree. You should be eating loads of fresh veg, wholegrains and nuts, lentils, etc. Every day. Cut down on processed carbs like bread, pasta, and fatty foods.

SafeSex · 24/09/2025 21:16

APC303 · 24/09/2025 19:15

Former piles sufferer with a three dimensional arse here.... Absolute nuisance to wipe. Gets to the point where the enamel gets scuffed off and ends up with sore and bleeding arse. Asked GP about it while they were having a rummage around on something else and they just said "meh,... wet wipes".

Enamel?? Does your arsehole have teeth?

Bubbles332 · 24/09/2025 21:14

Have you had a bad birth in the past? Sometimes it can cause problems in the menopause after years of being fine. There’s lots of things that can be done for it though, once you’ve worked out that that’s what it is. (There’s not much knowledge about it out there even amongst GPs so it can be hard to find out that’s the problem.)

outingouting · 24/09/2025 21:12

I’m early 40s and had this for years. I was reminded by me buying white thongs for the first time in a decade. I’ve got arse lips or whatever they’re called from old piles.

I’ll make sure I have wet wipes for when I start dating again.

it is usually a secret for me and myself, and now the millions on MN.

that reminds me, I’m due a name change soon.

DonnyBurrito · 24/09/2025 21:11

Really, if you're having the perfect poop, it should not need much wiping at all. I learnt a lot from a gay website about keeping a clean booty. Basically a lot of the issue is diet; dairy and calciferous vegetables make for the everbrown butthole. However, the nice chap who jotted his orifice observations down on the website recommended a fibre supplement called Metamucil. It's an orange flavoured drink. Gives you the perfect poops. It doesn't taste bad at all, and it also controls appetite a bit.