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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boyfriends son

79 replies

Daisymay1000 · 23/09/2025 19:14

Hi

im new to this site and I don’t really know how to word it all. But I was wondering if I can get some opinions. Iv been with my partner 2 years now and at the moment we are back to doing long distance, he is in London and I’m in Manchester as he moved back there for a while. I don’t know how I feel about the fact he is around his exs home every day where his child is, sometimes he will be there in the morning before they go to school, he will always call In during the afternoon, sometimes puts them to bed. He does stay at his mums every night but just seems to spend the majority of his day with his ex and child like a family even though they aren’t together. I’m not saying he shouldn’t see his child but I just don’t know how comfortable I am with the arrangement he’s basically living family life with them? It’s not a conversation I even know how to have?! Is this normal or am I being unreasonable?? It’s not like you can say to someone they see their own kid too much, that isn’t my issue, it’s the constantly being around her in her house and basically living as though there a family??

OP posts:
Daisymay1000 · 23/09/2025 19:54

NewDayNewColour · 23/09/2025 19:27

Leave them to bring up their child. He's a great dad by the sound of it

As I say it’s not about the child. But being around her home every day multiple times a day is the problem. Especially when we are so far apart at the moment. Everyone else I know seems to have normal co parenting joint custody or access, they don’t basically spend every day together as a family unit

OP posts:
NewDayNewColour · 23/09/2025 19:27

Leave them to bring up their child. He's a great dad by the sound of it

Springadorable · 23/09/2025 19:23

He's a good dad. His priority is his child. This is the correct way of things.

She will never not be in his life, so if you can't cope now, walk away.

Tontostitis · 23/09/2025 19:17

This is not the relationship for you. He has a family and living arrangements that are not compatible with a girlfriend