Boyfriends son

Not me that’s got the titty lip on love because my boyfriends playing happy families with his ex and kid! ‘Happy Families’ being the operative words but you crack on! 👍🏻

Being a parent very often isn’t ‘fair’. It’s called doing the right thing.

Because no loving, involved, pro-active dad would up sticks and move that far away from his child. Thats why.

Also remember, people usually get divorced because of their relationship with their partner, not their children. He obviously didn't want to be in a relationship with the Mother so dont focus on the fact that he's needing to spend time with her in order to see his son.

This.
@Daisymay1000 It is a bit concerning that you don't realise this.

Even if he was able to do what you want (i.e. only see his son at his own place in London, or at his mother's if he is living there), he will still be primarily focussed on his relationship with his son. If he is a good father, he will make arrangements to stay in London permanently.
You are a distant second, and that is as it should be.

I would advise you to end this relationship, and don't get involved with any other men who already have children.

The difference is they are co-parenting as a couple in a house together rather than as individual parents. It is probably why she has withdrawn all the he is a shit Dad stuff because it is easier to parent with him there,

Look, you can say he is a great Dad but a great Dad would sacrifice a lot to be geographically close to his child he would move jobs, relocate, anything to be close enough to be present in their lives on a very regular basis not every other weekend and miles away.

His child will always come first, it won't end when they are out of school either, uni, wedding, christenings, birthdays for them, their children etc. You have to work out if this is something you are willing to play second fiddle to. I can understand why you are upset about this. Long term he might move back to London.

If I were you I’d knock it on the head and find someone without a child. Your partner’s situation probably won’t change for a while, hes always going to be round their family home. I understand your point of view, you want him to see his kids but don’t want him hanging out with his ex every day. Hes always going to put his kids though, first hence mum always being in the picture. Looks like they’ve found an arrangement that works for them

Do them all a favour and leave them to it.

They have an arrangement they’re happy with and that works for them. You have no right to start interfering with that, to the detriment of the child. It’s totally selfish to want to rearrange their lives to suit you.

Find someone who doesn’t have a child and prior commitments.

Me and my children's dad are like this.
absolutely nothing going on romantically, it's just that we have children together and don't particularly want to make the kids live two fully separate lives. We talk a lot about the kids only for the most part. He comes over sometimes and spends time with them here. He has a girlfriend and it's not been an issue really

My partner lives close by to his ex and their daughter so that he can continue to be part of his DD's life.
He used to go every day but this happens less often as she's got older and spends more time with her friends, which is natural.
He does some family stuff with his ex + DD and I'm involved in some stuff too as we all get on well. Maybe you could ask to be involved sometimes too so you don't resent the time he spends there and can see the ex is no threat.
Or maybe you shouldn't have a relationship with a man with kids - they will ALWAYS come first, as they should.

Agree with above comments. Why move so far from your child… to me implies that child isn’t priority. Sounds like he’s had a lapse in judgement and realised this. Maybe that’s why he’s rethinking his options.

But parenting isn’t just a weekend job, it’s a daily job, it’s being involved in a child’s life, education, activities. Difficult to do that from miles away at the weekend.

Agree - And London to Manchester is quite the distance

Because to be a present dad, you need to be present, not just a weekender.
Most good parents won’t move away from their kids.

If his child is in London, and he wants to be a good, present dad, you either need to move there with him or exit the relationship.
A distance relationship will struggle to survive the current arrangement- you are already jealous and suspicious. The clangs of doom are tolling.

He is managing his children and a difficult ex. This is so much on his plate and, quite rightly he is prioritising them. Difficult ex is something someone who has not had to deal with it cannot begin to understand.

i expect he has to be there to prevent her kicking off and stopping him seeing his kids. Do you love him enough to always have this woman in your life because she will always be there. I suspect that if you move closer to him she will get worse.

Does he work?

Well, because if he was the one who moved away it kind of changes the assumption he’s a good, involved dad.

Can't you put it in a different way, he is spending time with his child in his childs home... not necessarily with his ex but she just happens to be the main parent and the child shares her home.
He doesn't have his own place down there so it makes sense for him to be there is his child is tbh.
I don't see the problem.

I think some people project when it comes to these sort of posts hence the rudeness.

It seems ypu have two choices though OP...either love your partner even more because he's a good Dad and hopefully a good person or if you are struggling to do that and feel resentful (which might be undertandable) reconsider the relationship.