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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is your home like a show home? If so, where is all your stuff?

137 replies

WorkerBee123 · 23/09/2025 18:55

So I would say I’m pretty tidy-I like it when there are no dishes on the side and the laundry is done, for example. But I live in a decent sized Victorian house with loads of books, plants and art etc (don’t mean to sound wanky). Recently went to someone’s house which was of the ‘executive home’ style-huge and virtually empty except for huge gorgeous sofas, massive island and a giant plant. I loved it! The bedroom was equipped with brand new empty drawers and bedside tables. My spare room is lovely, but there’s a full linen cupboard, drawers full of my stuff and camping gear under the bed. Even their garden was open and clear. Loved it-not my style but loved. Than I recently saw an ig post where the poster said she liked her house to look like no one lives there and that’s pretty much exactly the vibe this one had. Like I said, no judgement. I loved it. Could never achieve it in a million years. If you do, particularly if you live in an old house, how do you do it??

OP posts:
Astrabees · 26/09/2025 20:01

latetothefisting · 26/09/2025 19:27

But how do you know if someone does/doesn't have 'any books in their house?'
How many houses have you seen all over?
I don't think I've been into every single room in even some of my closest friends' houses, let alone the average acquaintance.
Even if you did a full nosy come dine with me intrusive rummage, all you'd have to do is miss one slim kindle and that would be hundreds of thousands of books in someone's house.

What you're actually saying is 'Unless someone has multiple battered paperbacks on full display in their living room I pre-emptively judge them.'

What about people who have lived in multiple different countries and couldn't afford to ship their books everywhere?
What about refugees escaping with barely the clothes on their back but who can read in four different languages?
What about people who can't afford to buy books but who go to the library twice a week?
What about someone who escaped DV and had to leave all their possessions behind?
What about people who are cramped in a tiny studio flat with no space to store books but who have hundreds on their tablet?
What about people with dyslexia who listen to an audiobook for an hour a day?

I consider it very strange that someone who supposedly reads a lot isn't a bit more open minded and hasn't learned to not take things on immediate appearances.

Edited

I’m afraid I don’t know any of the types of people you mention, I expect most of them would have a few books,perhaps not. The thread is about design aesthetics. I have been given guided tours of most of my friends houses and most of plenty of books on display, it just seems a normal thing to do.

latetothefisting · 26/09/2025 19:27

Astrabees · 24/09/2025 08:31

My house isn’t ‘t cluttered but I really don’t like a soulless minimal look. I have a wall of books in my study, plenty of art on the walls and some patterned curtains, lots of colour on the walls. I need to clear out some clothes but I like plenty of choice and still wear some things I have had for 20 years or so. Your house can is one way to express your individuality, if you have no books in your house I consider this very strange.

But how do you know if someone does/doesn't have 'any books in their house?'
How many houses have you seen all over?
I don't think I've been into every single room in even some of my closest friends' houses, let alone the average acquaintance.
Even if you did a full nosy come dine with me intrusive rummage, all you'd have to do is miss one slim kindle and that would be hundreds of thousands of books in someone's house.

What you're actually saying is 'Unless someone has multiple battered paperbacks on full display in their living room I pre-emptively judge them.'

What about people who have lived in multiple different countries and couldn't afford to ship their books everywhere?
What about refugees escaping with barely the clothes on their back but who can read in four different languages?
What about people who can't afford to buy books but who go to the library twice a week?
What about someone who escaped DV and had to leave all their possessions behind?
What about people who are cramped in a tiny studio flat with no space to store books but who have hundreds on their tablet?
What about people with dyslexia who listen to an audiobook for an hour a day?

I consider it very strange that someone who supposedly reads a lot isn't a bit more open minded and hasn't learned to not take things on immediate appearances.

hobbledyhoy · 25/09/2025 16:16

KeepOnKeepingOn25 · 24/09/2025 18:50

Yes, my home is a show home.

The show is called ‘knackered parents tread water’ and runs live from my house everyday. It’s not unlike a modern art installation. Like a bigger version of Tracy Emin’s bed, but swap the booze bottles, period pants and condoms for scattered toys, discarded half worn clothes (looking at you eldest DC.. 🤨), half completed puzzles, Lego, bits of loo roll over all the twatting bathroom floor WHY?? piles of laundry in every stage of metamorphosis twixt dirty and needing to be put away, art and craft projects 50-90% complete, a million pairs of shoes, L00m bands EVeryWhere 😵 ☢️, crumbs deposited like morning dew, crap I need to fix and never get round to, rebellious Tupperware that only wishes to avalanche and lose their lids, missing school kit and so the show goes on.. 🫠 🤡

I have just worked out the show has been running for over 2,800 episodes, yay!

(Tongue in cheek, I do love my tiny mess makers. I think of them as Guinea pigs as they are not fully fledged grown pigs. To be expected in teen years I am supposing(?)

This made me laugh out loud.

I think I’m in the same show. I tidy the same bloody things every day, it must be what purgatory is like - constant endeavour and fuck all progress.

Empress13 · 24/09/2025 22:29

Deeprug · 23/09/2025 19:05

I just don't have any stuff!! I love getting rid of everything. Ive moved house a ridiculous amount of times and decided to get rid of things rather than constantly lugging them around. I also love clearing things out. Sometimes I think it's cos I secretly think I'm going to lose my lovely home so I need to get rid of my stuff to be ready. Im also getting older and realise there's stuff I just never use.

However...I'm trying to create a home as you describe, op. Lovely prints, plants, objects and I'm finding it really difficult. Perhaps I just have no sense of style or taste!

What do you have then?

QuizzlyBears · 24/09/2025 22:26

I forgot about my garage. We don’t use the garage for cars, it’s boarded and well insulated and so all
my seasonal bits and pieces, wellies, gardening stuff, excessive amounts of bags for life etc are all organised in there well out of sight.

MuffinsAreJustCakesAtBreakfast · 24/09/2025 22:15

It was like a show home.

Then I got a dog and chilled the F out.

Lua · 24/09/2025 22:05

For me, the question is not only where to put stuff, but when do people have the time to constantly tidy and declutter.

I am barely making through each day, and the to do list only grows.... if I put a GP letter that i need to do something in a drawer, it will never finds its way out of there again....

KeepOnKeepingOn25 · 24/09/2025 18:50

Yes, my home is a show home.

The show is called ‘knackered parents tread water’ and runs live from my house everyday. It’s not unlike a modern art installation. Like a bigger version of Tracy Emin’s bed, but swap the booze bottles, period pants and condoms for scattered toys, discarded half worn clothes (looking at you eldest DC.. 🤨), half completed puzzles, Lego, bits of loo roll over all the twatting bathroom floor WHY?? piles of laundry in every stage of metamorphosis twixt dirty and needing to be put away, art and craft projects 50-90% complete, a million pairs of shoes, L00m bands EVeryWhere 😵 ☢️, crumbs deposited like morning dew, crap I need to fix and never get round to, rebellious Tupperware that only wishes to avalanche and lose their lids, missing school kit and so the show goes on.. 🫠 🤡

I have just worked out the show has been running for over 2,800 episodes, yay!

(Tongue in cheek, I do love my tiny mess makers. I think of them as Guinea pigs as they are not fully fledged grown pigs. To be expected in teen years I am supposing(?)

NotABiscuitInSight · 24/09/2025 18:31

WinterFrogs · 24/09/2025 18:21

That is such a nice post ❤️ I wish I'd got the hang of it when my children were small! I'm much more orderly now that small children just visit ( my mum admitted the same re me as a child vs my children)

I honestly think I only got a handle on it because I found being a new mum so overwhelming and it was one thing i could manage to build a calm space, so thank you for saying that ❤️

It's lovely you can have those sorts of chats with your mum 😀

WinterFrogs · 24/09/2025 18:22

MaturingCheeseball · 24/09/2025 16:30

I was running the school library and I was helping a class choose books. One girl said that No, she didn’t want a book because her mum said they were messy and not to take them out of her bag. !!

That's really sad!

WinterFrogs · 24/09/2025 18:21

NotABiscuitInSight · 24/09/2025 18:10

Do, display, dispose!

We buy craft stuff, do the project and donate the leftovers to nursery, library, craft corners.

We have an art file and places to display it. That way we get to see and enjoy it and then swap it over. I might be a neat freak but that stuff is meant to be seen and is completely irreplaceable!

I empathise with the tools and childhood stuff though! I manage it by trying not to get attached to any new stuff!

Oh and I use all the stuff. If i get nice bath stuff, I use it, nice candle, use it. I don't save anything for best, I only have stuff i want to use so there is no choice in it.

That is such a nice post ❤️ I wish I'd got the hang of it when my children were small! I'm much more orderly now that small children just visit ( my mum admitted the same re me as a child vs my children)

NotABiscuitInSight · 24/09/2025 18:10

MNJury · 24/09/2025 07:46

I would love to strike a happy medium with this and am fascinated how people achieve a clutter-free existence. My house is tidy, mostly, but an empty show home it is not. I am assuming that the majority who manage it do not have young children at least?

Kids stuff - puzzles/games/Lego. Treasured artwork bought home from school - yes it will end up in the recycling, but not immediately. Desks. Oh, kids desks... Primary or teenage, they are stuffed with stationary/paper/half done projects, have notice boards with magnets/pictures/photos/certificates etc. Yes you can try to keep them tidy and contain this stuff to their bedrooms but that is a big job in itself...

And then there is the rest of the house. All the things you store - decorating gear/craft supplies+sewing machine/off season clothes and shoes/music books/tools/baking stuff that doesn't fit in the main kitchen cupboards/seasonal decorations/a few boxes of childhood treasures, and so it goes on - they all take up space in the cupboards loft and garage.

Books. Ok, we have a lot of books. Some on display and some stored for different points in the children's lives. We don't have to do that, but it feels so huge to just chuck out boxes of favourites, many passed from grandparents or nice gifted hardbacks or favourite series. We do pass many on as we go, standard paperbacks are often in and out.

I really am not a buyer, but still we accumulate "stuff". Do people really not have this?! I wish I had less, but it's hard to know what to get rid of.

Do, display, dispose!

We buy craft stuff, do the project and donate the leftovers to nursery, library, craft corners.

We have an art file and places to display it. That way we get to see and enjoy it and then swap it over. I might be a neat freak but that stuff is meant to be seen and is completely irreplaceable!

I empathise with the tools and childhood stuff though! I manage it by trying not to get attached to any new stuff!

Oh and I use all the stuff. If i get nice bath stuff, I use it, nice candle, use it. I don't save anything for best, I only have stuff i want to use so there is no choice in it.

MNJury · 24/09/2025 17:40

WorkerBee123 · 24/09/2025 16:56

This is exactly us. Children are adults but one still at home and one with a jam packed room that is definitely cluttered. But I try to ignore that aspect as it isn’t mine.

I'm glad we're not alone!
I remember when my parents had me collect the last "stuff" from my old room. I joked they would enjoy the echo every time they walked into my previously stuffed room. And they did, for a while... But now they have spread their own stuff out and we all wonder how they ever fit us children into the house! I hope you manage to enjoy and maintain the echo one day 😄

CheltenhamLady · 24/09/2025 17:38

We have a clean and and tidy house as I live by the maxim, use and then put it away. My mother used to say if you won't move a little, you won't move a lot!

We have a place for everything and it goes back there after use. I have a big, modern kitchen and we have nothing out on the work surfaces, not even a kettle as we have a quooker!! I just have a large vase of flowers on the island.

We have a large garage which is shelved and all items are in see through plastic boxes, and we have ottoman beds for storage in all rooms. My wardrobe is arranged to be colour coordinated and I keep tops in one, coats in another etc, etc.

I just hate clutter and untidiness.It makes life so much simpler if you can grab and go.

The only room with clutter is DH's study, but I just shut the door on that!!

MissyPants · 24/09/2025 17:31

I think it's depressing, it looks nice but in reality, why?
I went to someone's house and I couldn't believe how show home it was. He even had plastic sheeting down permanently on the carpets so as to not ruin the carpets.
It becomes obsessive and feels cold to me. Daily reality isn't Instagram.

MNJury · 24/09/2025 17:26

@FickleOcelot I'm also familiar with Scandinavian homes and I think you are on to something. A large trunk/sideboard/unit tucked away which either wouldn't fit or be dominant in an average UK room here, a sprawling basement there....

Plastictreees · 24/09/2025 17:15

MarxistMags · 24/09/2025 17:06

Where DO people put their stuff ?
I really want to know. Cupboards and drawers overflowing.....

Attic and garage, we’ve also got a couple of really big inbuilt cupboards. We’ve also got fitted wardrobes, the equivalent of 4 double wardrobes, which is a godsend!

FickleOcelot · 24/09/2025 17:09

Having a Danish husband and having visited a lot of Danish houses, the secret is their houses are twice as big as ours, so they have stuff but still look spacious!

Enigma54 · 24/09/2025 17:08

MaturingCheeseball · 24/09/2025 16:30

I was running the school library and I was helping a class choose books. One girl said that No, she didn’t want a book because her mum said they were messy and not to take them out of her bag. !!

That’s quite sad actually ☹️

SonK · 24/09/2025 17:07

I have a very minimalist house - I don't like clutter and I have a two year old and one year old so it helps having less stuff to tidy away and clean.

I have an open space kitchen, dining and living space. All we have here is a TV, sofa, and dining seat. I only have a toaster and kettle on my kitchen counter as everything else is in its place inside the cupboard.

We also have three bedrooms and both my babies have their own room so this helps keep the house tidy as all their toys are stored in a toy chest / unit.

Edit: we all borrow lots of books at the library and donate toys often to charities

MarxistMags · 24/09/2025 17:06

Where DO people put their stuff ?
I really want to know. Cupboards and drawers overflowing.....

WorkerBee123 · 24/09/2025 17:04

CloudBuster66 · 24/09/2025 10:51

Your house sounds lovely and homely. Why would you prefer it to look sterile and soulless?

I wouldn’t I’m just fascinated about how to achieve something that in my case I don’t see as being possible!

OP posts:
BlueandPinkSwan · 24/09/2025 17:01

I really want to declutter, most surfaces have stuff on them that we've collected over the years. I'm wanting to do a Swedish death clean but really don't know where to start!🙄😁

WhenIAmKing · 24/09/2025 16:58

We have an odd layout in the back garden - it’s L shaped and you can’t really see part of it from the house. So we put a massive shed there with big metal shelves and lots of plastic boxes labelled with their contents.

House is very minimalist, because anything we’re not using at the moment/don’t need instant access to is in the shed, we swap things around as needed.

WorkerBee123 · 24/09/2025 16:56

MNJury · 24/09/2025 07:46

I would love to strike a happy medium with this and am fascinated how people achieve a clutter-free existence. My house is tidy, mostly, but an empty show home it is not. I am assuming that the majority who manage it do not have young children at least?

Kids stuff - puzzles/games/Lego. Treasured artwork bought home from school - yes it will end up in the recycling, but not immediately. Desks. Oh, kids desks... Primary or teenage, they are stuffed with stationary/paper/half done projects, have notice boards with magnets/pictures/photos/certificates etc. Yes you can try to keep them tidy and contain this stuff to their bedrooms but that is a big job in itself...

And then there is the rest of the house. All the things you store - decorating gear/craft supplies+sewing machine/off season clothes and shoes/music books/tools/baking stuff that doesn't fit in the main kitchen cupboards/seasonal decorations/a few boxes of childhood treasures, and so it goes on - they all take up space in the cupboards loft and garage.

Books. Ok, we have a lot of books. Some on display and some stored for different points in the children's lives. We don't have to do that, but it feels so huge to just chuck out boxes of favourites, many passed from grandparents or nice gifted hardbacks or favourite series. We do pass many on as we go, standard paperbacks are often in and out.

I really am not a buyer, but still we accumulate "stuff". Do people really not have this?! I wish I had less, but it's hard to know what to get rid of.

This is exactly us. Children are adults but one still at home and one with a jam packed room that is definitely cluttered. But I try to ignore that aspect as it isn’t mine.

OP posts: