To ask where do mums find the time?!

My husband looks after the kids or if he can’t my DPs do. I make it one of my priorities because i’m a better mum and wife if I have time to myself to do these things.

Simple answer: its higher up their list of priorities.

That's not a criticism of you.

I only get my hair done as do my nails at home with wraps, but while I’m doing them or at the hairdresser my husband deals with school run/homework/dinner, just as i do when he does his hobbies.
Hope you guys have a fab holiday.

I don't know many mums who spend that sort of time or money on getting nails and hair done.

I get my haircut done in my lunch break on my WFH days. It's not more than an hour ever though.

I look pretty rough a lot of the time though 😂

So the answer is that people who do the thing you want to do organise and prioritise 6 Saturdays (or more accurately 6 5hr slots) a year. You don’t manage it because you prioritise your husbands job, activities and spending time with your children. I don’t do it at all because it’s a total waste of time and money imo but If you want to of course you will be able to you just have to take time from something else you do.

I also only have one child who is now at secondary school which makes a difference. I used to drop her at school everyday then zoom to my desk. Now she leaves in the morning and I have over an hour before I start work so definitely easier for me now she's older. Can also leave her at home by herself for a bit, not done more than maybe an hour and a half yet though.

I do it all myself

I have a Phillips Lumea, use it for an hour a month at home so no waxing required.

Mostly WFH so paint my nails while listening in on a meeting!

Dye my hair myself once a month in the evening, again takes an hour.

I definitely don't look as groomed as someone who has it all done professionally though I'm sure!

Yes the glow up in 5 years when I have both children in school and my day off will be a day for me!

I fully empathise with you and people are being harsh. We all have different circumstances and childcare options and it’s nice to hear I’m not the only one who can’t find 6 Saturday afternoons a year to do things for myself. I’m not being a martyr it’s just the reality for us right now.

I don’t really do much of this but I allocate my free time to exercise. My partner looks after the kids/house but I prefer to spend weekends doing other things. I make time for what I want to do but I can find it tiring

So you are basically struggling to have 6 Saturdays to yourself a year?

I think most don't, that's your answer. No-one I know does that stuff on a regular basis, or even before holidays. We are all working parents and don't have the time/don't value spending our time that way.

Just don't bother? I have my hair cut every 8 weeks or so, paint my nails at home, shave body hair in the bath and put on a bit of makeup when I feel that I need to. If you want to go all Barbie doll with highlights and two hour nails that's fine, but it's not compulsory.

It’s Mumsnet not the gates of heaven - people are allowed to judge. You are judging her judging …

People know very different types of people, and some “types” hold personal views about other “types”.

I judge other women who spend hours and money on nails, lashes, and hair - and I’m quite sure I am judged in return for looking largely unkempt, and spending my time and money on books and holidays.

wondering if I’m getting something different done because it’s no where near 90 minutes for gel polish when I get it.

5 mins to file, shape and do cuticles. Then a base coat goes on one hand and it’s in the UV thing for 30 seconds while she does the other hand, then that one goes in the UV while she does a coat of colour on the first hand. That repeats a few times alternating hands but working continuously for at most a total of 4 coats.

its done in 30 minutes at most.

I think people may just have a different lifestyle to you and different hair/hairdressers! I had one hairdresser that took a long time, and I just finished work a bit earlier and had the appointment in the evening. Once every 6-8wks doesn’t seem a big ask. I have a hairdresser that comes to my house now, and she’s much quicker. A full head of highlights plus toner and a cut takes about three hours and I’m able to be on my laptop so don’t have to catch up with work after. I do this every 2-3 months as my hair is blonde so the regrowth isn’t too bad.

You can paint your nails yourself in the evening if you don’t have time for a salon. I’ve never known gels to take over an hour. I suppose if it’s your first time they may have had to spend longer on the manicure part?

For the most part though, these aren’t very regular things. A lot of people exercise for an hour 2-3 times a week, so it’s less time than that!

I take my work laptop to the hair dressers with me amd book it as a private appointment in my work diary. For nails, I soak off at home and get them done when i can - DD9 likes to come with so she gets a pedicure and manicure too (with normal polish) then reads a book until I'm finishes. Waxing I can normally fit in over lunch

It’s about time for yourself child free, I have never had my nails done but did have a long hair appointment every 6 weeks for many years till I became allergic to hair dye. I also worked FT with a commute of 45 mins each way.

DH looked after them as he is also their parent, DH did as much housework as me, plus I did always have a cleaner.

There is also a persons natural energy and efficiency levels. I am very good at multi tasking and keeping things in my head. Some people need to write lists and have to ponder decision making, it’s pretty much instant for me. Because I can process all permutations so fast. I can read and take in the information at an abnormally high speed.

I retired 5 years ago I still remember all the codes to the finance system and all my log ins, the same for my previous employer thinking about it and I left there in 1999, heads like a filing cabinet. Not quite a photographic memory but similar, DS brain processes like me. We are uber efficient. The one bad thing is it makes me a bit inpatient.

Well I don’t think it’s much of a mystery is it really? Of course it depends on what you personally prioritise but working mums would go on their days off, with someone else to watch the kids, and if they don’t work during the week, they’d go while the child/ren were at school or childcare.

I don't know anyone who does all of those or would spend the money on it to be honest. Most of my friends have natural nails and don't pay for lashes, tan or extensions either. People I know who do these are younger, work part time or don't have kids. Some have married divorced men who like that look and are happy to pay for it while they don't work.

Really it's very unlikely anyone with a baby would want very long nails as they'd be a health risk with nappies!

All my friends do is the hairdresser which for highlights that about half have does take over an hour. We'd be lucky to get a massage gifted in the year or the odd pedicure before summer. Hair only needs doing every month really so say 2 hours a month actually in a salon if you are low maintenance.

Exactly this