Aibu to think this is a good salary?

The general convention is to list annual earnings pre tax and take home (post tax) earnings post tax.

Is this about working hours/money or about something hidden under the surface, like some sort of resentment resulting from fatigue or depression.

Easy to get distracted by the surface discussion.

2500 extra a month is good, plus sounds like you have some good savings already. I probably wouldn't bother with the extra hours and spend the time with your family etc.

Yeah is a lot more than our salaries and we have a bigger mortgage!

I have just changed my hours to do self employed work around the kids and I love it. I do all the drop offs and pick ups, I can make dinner from scratch every night, I clean and do the garden and laundry on my days off so the weekends are full on family time. Our quality of life is so much better as a family. It's worth the drop in pay. I appreciate we are very lucky though. My husband earns about 58k, I probably earn 18k now, and our mortgage is only £250.

All the school runs and you do 30 hours.
What exactly does he do?
He sees you as a work horse OP, be careful.

Selfish men don't give a shit if the mother of their children is run into the ground, just as long as they get the max out of them.

My friend wiped the smile off her husbands face by taking the promotion he encouraged but then had to start an hour earlier.

He had to sort out the children as she had done, completely on his own.

He actually wanted her to change hours so he could avoid it.
She told them they would divorce first and meant it.

Have you considered future costs? I know a lot of people who are regretting not saving more when their children were younger as the costs associated with university are horrendous now. When are you planning on retiring? Have you got enough in your pension? I'd factor all of those into your calculations, and check you are still happy, and if so, enjoy your time with them.

What does he want the extra money for? If you have enough that's fine.

There is more to life than money, I think not being over worked, stressed and resenting your partner because your working full time and also doing all the mental load is worth more than doing more hours at work. You'd have more money but wouldn't be as happy what the point?

Is the 64k pre tax @jamsandwich5 or after tax, national insurance and pension?

We would struggle on a household income of 64 k as we are a 6 figure household. However, there’s no point in increasing your hours if your quality of life will reduce.

Well it must be going somewhere.

Why does he want you to work more hrs? You’re only working 8 hrs less and you’re able to balance work with family life.
Honestly, what goes on with some men? They’re happy to work their wives to the bone because most definitely don’t step up.

You spend what you have. The more you earn the more you spend and the more you want. Like the Poster the other day who said 170k wasn’t enough to live on.

Is he going to share the load of doing the things you currently do with the 8 hrs off? I suspect not. He's probably not even aware of most of it. Make a comprehensive list of all the things you handle so you can have a discussion about what he would take responsibility for if you worked more hours.

I wouldn’t regard it as a good salary. It’s probably average though.

Once basics and a bit of fun are accounted for I would go for time over money every single time.
When you get to my age, you realise that time when they're little, is so precious.I've lost a few friends to illnesses and accidents, and life is ridiculously short, so grab it where you can.

I work 24 hours a week (early.finish and one day off) Nd have been since DD started school. She's now well into secondary but I have no desire to increase.my.hours.

Actually.discussed it recently with DH because my days are less busy now she's older but we agreed that the extra money isn't worth it really because we are comfortable, go on nice holidays and dont really need more. Obviously if we had a lottery win I wouldn't say no but I'm not working more just for the money 😃

How old are the kids? And would he be prepared to do pick ups/ drops offs if you were working full time?

You have struck a good balance of time v funds. No point being cash rich and time poor with no quality of life always chasing your tail.

I think my quality of life would just be worse? as it stands I am doing all the school pick ups and drop offs and working more would mean less of those (roping in grandparents probably) weighing up the money I’d rather spend the time with the kids after school while they’re little?
Men never ever get this- they think money is it and the kids will magically get themselves to and from school. Yet if you had to pay for them for childcare or collections they never make the connection that you working those hours is costing the house money!

Why does he want you to up your hours?

He must have given some reason.

I think the value of you working 30 hours and having time/headspace to sort kids and life admin out would outweigh the benefits of working more whilst the kids are young at least- it’s a big undertaking to keep everything running smoothly and being on top of things, let alone actually spending time with kids after school/play dates one day a week, and not chasing your tail all the time!

does/would your husband help with the life/school adminy tasks, cleaning, shopping, cooking etc?

If you are comfortably off then I would table the idea for another few years yet until the kids are older at least.

If you work more hours will he then spend more of his own time doing admin and kid stuff?

This to me means more than money. I always worked part time, not in a school but school hours and holidays (I was very lucky), when the boys were at Primary school and I loved it. Obviously my pension has suffered but I’m glad I didn’t miss loads.

He sound jealous that you work less hours but I bet he isn’t seeing stepping up and doing the school runs in his future if you work more hours.
The managing life admin should not be underrated. Maybe point out how much more he will need to pick up if you work extra hours?

You bring in similar amounts. That should be enough.

I think like everything else the conversation isn't just about money - what is he offering to pick up if you're working more. If the answer is that you can't make it work without relying on family, and you have any other options available, then you shouldn't do it.

I think 2500 spare every month is great. It will get easier as your kids get older and maybe you can revisit it then. For now I think he has a great setup - enough money to pay all the bills 'and' very little required of him to organise the house.