Aibu to think this is a good salary?

Does he want to reduce his hours, it that the issue? Its just in most families it is the lower earners that works part time and in terms of finance it does make sense.

Sadly, knowing men like i do now: he is either jealous that you work fewer hours and/or peeved that you could be bringing in more cash (reflected status). Neither opinion is attractive.

If he sold it as a financial investment for your future, and wanted to chip in re admin, i could maybe get on board. But I am hearing man baby with selfish traits.

If you can pay your mortgage and you are in your forever home, are putting enough in your pensions to be comfortable in old age, have a savings buffer in case your boiler packs up, and you are still able to afford the lifestyle you want, you are grand.

Sadly in many parts of the country you wouldn’t manage that on £64k (average house price is just short of £300k now). But if you can, fair play to you.

Since you have a higher salary prorata I'd say it would make most sense for you to go FT and for him to drop down to 0.8FTE. That way you'd have a higher income and he could pick up the bulk of the childcare and wifework. Suggest that (maybe with a complete list of all the things that you currently do that he'll now have to cover), I doubt he'll accept. Seriously though, you are the higher earner so you hold the cards in this discussion, he needs you and your children more than you needs him. Tell him you are doing what suits you and he has the choice to accept it or prove he's capable of doing more at home.

If you can get by and are happy then it's fine, but if you want more out of life be it holidays, bigger house, or whatever then you have the scope to do more hours and earn more.

It's not a bad wage for the number of hours you're working

Maybe he should reduce his hours and your work full time? You clearly will bring home more than he does so you would be better if financially and no impact to home.

I would ask him if he is going to get a better paid job to match yours.
Using those hours roughly you earn more per hour than him in a rudimentary calculation.
I would calculate the additional costs of pre/post school childcare and work out a budget and discuss further maybe he is jealous that he has to work so many extra hours for not much more money.

I would say given outgoings that that is fine, but also, you're working 30 hours, not 20. With younger children and the extra time they take, I think 8 hours fewer a week is a reasonable trade-off especially if you're doing school runs. Is he planning to do more of that if you work more? Will you have to spend any more on child care?

So it's your job to earn more amd the grandparents' job to pick up the extra childcare? Even though you have plenty spare?
He's an idiot who sounds jealous of your time, yet unsupportive of the extra burden that time relieves him of.

From the OP's first sentence

'Just to settle an argument. My husband and I respectively take home 33k and 31k a year after tax.'

Yes that is plenty with a £900 mortgage.
So you're bringing in more working less hours? Why should you contribute more than him financially when you're not struggling and earn similar? Should be equal surely? If you did want to increase your hours I'd put the extra into your own pension pot or savings account. Seems fair.

I’d ask if he should get paid more. You’re providing invaluable time with your kids, that’s worth a-lot more than more days salary if you can already manage financially

So you earn more than him (per hour), do ALL the drop offs and pick ups, presumably then do more cooking, cleaning, housework etc

Why isn’t he looking to bring in more money if he wants it? Why doesn’t he go for a promotion? Move companies etc, to at least earn the same as you.

You’re currently carrying him and he’s moaning about it 🙄

Sounds like you've got good control over your money. What's his reasoning?

we don’t struggle for money and I am happy having a bit of spare time to sort kids school admin etc.

Then yes, it's a good salary.

I'd be pointing this out to your husband.

What does he want from you doing more hours? If you don't need the money, it suggests to me that either he wants to drop his hours (but surely he'd have said so), or that he's peeved at working eight more hours than you, and wants you to have it as 'hard' as him. It's a nasty, childish attitude if that's how he thinks.

Ask him. Ask him why he wants you to up your hours, and ask how he's going to facilitate that, e.g. by doing the school runs and the school admin. (No, you are not going to burden the grandparents needlessly, he needs to do it of you can't.)

(Edited for spelling)

Your r DH is a twat.

Halve all the pick ups and drop off, wraparound care after school costs, wgy should grandparents be ropped in?

what about school holidays?

he looks at it on paper, not the reality of who does what.

On paper yes it’s a good salary but in reality it depends on your lifestyle. My dh’s ex wife insisted that his salary was enough to live on and she didn’t want to work more than part time. They ended up getting into massive credit card debts, he was still paying it off when I met him.
so if you don’t go into debt and can afford what you need I’d say it’s ok

Sounds fine to me. If you can pay all your bills and enjoy life and don't struggle then perfect. Obviously salaries stretch more in some areas than others, so "good" is subjective, but it sure isn't bad!

Your children are only young once, so if you've got £2.5k less over per month after essential payments, I'd choose the same as you and spend time with them. Do you really want grandparents picking them up at the end of the day, and to hear first hand how their day has gone before you do, when you don't have to. I guess getting home a bit earlier means the odd household job gets done in the week, you can start on tea if DH has a job where he doesn't get back until 6.30pm/7pm. All, that means less DH has to do and more quality hours together, even if it's enjoying a programme together in the evenings.

In time you can decide if you want/need to work extra hours.

You’re saying you could live on roughly half of what you bring in each month. You absolutely don’t need to work more. It’s a cliche but so true that time when kids are small is so fleeting. Don’t give that up for money you don’t need.

Sounds like he hates that he has to work more hours than you, simple as that.

If you did up your hours do you, hand on heart, think he would take on 50% of all tasks outside of work?

I mean...you only work slightly less than him so realistically you should be doing 60% of the home based tasks and him 40%, does he? Cos I am betting he doesnt.

As you work 8 hours less I presume you pick up the majority of the household admin, chores and childcare?

So if he wants you to work more hours then he would have to take on more household stuff, or pay for a cleaner etc...

I’m on my own with two teens and earn £55k so if you look at it like that then you have more earning potential. But you dont say what you do.

Sounds perfect. if you have 2.5k left over per month you could top up your pensions and retire super early!