To think you don’t need to live a particularly “uncomfortable” life to be happy?

Your experience won't be what I would call "a life well lived" but you, presumably, aren't hurting anyone and are pottering along paying more than your way through taxes, so good for you.

It sounds like a nice life. The only thing I would ask is do you want kids in the future? Lots of people meet their partners in their 30s but quite a few of my friends have struggled to find someone to have a family with or they've been ttc in late 30s.
If you don't want kids then crack on!

This is all very lovely, but it sounds like you live alone and are never in a situation where you are mingling with new people. If you would like boyfriend I think you have to make a definite effort to go to places where there are men.

It doesn’t have to be a club, but it does have to be the kind of environment where there are lots of young people mingling with people they don’t know.

. Is there a pub in your town where the kind of young men you like would go after work? Is there a mixed hobby team you could join like football or touch rugby or running?
Is there a cricket team they’re going to watch? Are there house parties you could be attending? Do your female friends have boyfriends or do you have male colleagues or brothers or any other male contacts that you could tag along with to their next gig/holiday/day out/ whatever and meet their friends.

You need to find out where the men are and make the effort to go there too, and talk to new people, say once a fortnight or once a week. This is how we found boyfriends before OLD existed.

I don’t care what anyone does as long as it’s not illegal or encroaches on peoples own quiet enjoyment of their space.

Looking round though at what happened to all my women friends regarding marriages, children or long term decent relationships. There was a definite panics when some waited till mid thirties and they ended up with rather crappy partners.

The issue is there are more decent women than men overall so if a woman finds a really decent bloke you bet she knows it and they get snapped up quick.

How are you going to meet someone though if you don't go out? Most clubs where I am are back up and running.

You’re not wasting your life if you’re happy and content. One day you might feel like mixing things up, but until then, why change? Your 20s are a time to discover yourself, make mistakes, learn from them, and, especially before having kids (if that’s something you want) enjoy minimal responsibilities and focus on what you want to do. That doesn’t mean you have to live the way other people are living.

That said, I’ll admit I’ve never understood people in their late thirties or forties who stay in a job they hate, just counting down to retirement and a pension. But that’s partly because I work in healthcare and have seen how quickly life can change - and how some people never even make it to retirement. But that’s a story for another time! My biggest piece of advice is not to put things off…but you don’t seem to be doing that at all. You seem happy, and that’s good! I hope it stays that way.

I’m 34 now but in my 20s I was similar.

I worked long hours, 6 days a week in an industry I loved. I forced myself to go clubbing as that’s what all my friends/colleagues were doing but I hated it. I was much happier when I spent my free time doing my hobbies/going for coffee/exploring my city rather than clubbing. I remember feeling like there was something wrong with me as it just was totally different to what everyone around me was doing. I’m glad things are different now.

I’ve also never really been into travelling. I like a holiday and there’s a couple of countries on my bucket list but I’m perfectly happy not travelling

I think there has been a huge generational shift and things are different for people your age. That’s probably for the best as most young people will never be able to afford to do what the generation above did.

I think you are also more mindful and health conscious - you know that one cannot do it all, burn the candle at both ends and have it all. You set better boundaries to protect yourself from working too hard. My generation can’t get out of that mentality and we are exhausted and turning to alcohol or comfort eating or similar to cope with “doing everything” .

it sounds like you’re not on screens wasting away your weekends doom scrolling so anything is better than that.

You sound very happy. I’ve always been happy with each stage of my life but one downside is I never experienced the push of unhappiness to make me try something different. Does that make sense?

For example I was always happy living my life and left it too late to have children of my own. So my only advice would be if you do want to have a family you need to actively make it happen. It won’t just occur like it did in all the novels I read !

I had the big competitive job with all the nights out and projects and awards and was so burnt out that I used to fantasise about being run over by a bus so I could rest in hospital for a week.

I left and don't have that lifestyle anymore and am sooo much happier. I actually have free time, and time with my children. My life is not enviable anymore by those status signifier standards, but in terms of my family, my work/life balance, my health, even my physical appearance...I'm so much better off. There are ups and downs to both, and when I was working we thought anyone who left was mad, and there are parts of it I miss, but now I totally get choosing something less outwardly desirable but more personally beneficial.

You don't have to justify your choices to anyone but yourself.

Your problem will be if you get to 35, suddenly decide you want kids and then grab the first person that comes along to satisfy that requirement, who turns out to be wholly unsuitable as a father and long term life partner.

OLD is only as good as the filters you apply to it. Go for a paid site and see whether anyone turns up of high quality who piques your interest. Throw away the rest. The longer you are on it, the more likely someone is to turn up that interests you and you have the advantage of time. At 25 you can throw back 99% of the people to find the very best. At 40 and you want to have kids then you won't be able to have that level of discrimination.

It sounds nice op. If you’re happy, don’t worry about what anyone else is doing.

Thank god someone has finally recognised my brilliance! Years ago I was StaplesCorner. Not a titter.

For me, that would be a very dull life.And I m fifty. But for other people such as my husband that is his way of living, and he loves it. Neither way is better or worse.

I spend lots of evenings out clubbing, going to gigs, art events, playing and watching sport stuff with 100s of different friends.
He goes to the same pub with the same friends a lot. He goes climbing and cycling on his own and is very happy.

we meet in the middle to go on long dog walks, meals.out on our own, the occassional social event, camping and fun holidays.

Different strokes!

Why don’t you try something new like am dram or a stand up comedy class or language lessons or padel to get out of your comfort zone and meet new people and maybe a boyfriend

I think it takes all sorts. My daughter isn’t the clubbing type because she’s into horses, so would rather be with her horse. Her equestrian friends are the same and it’s bedtime early to get up early. My friends dd is the clubbing type and is out with her friends most weekends

Brilliant user name too ! Now it’s my ear worm for today 😂🎶

@HangerLaneGyratorySystem Brilliant user name!