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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish rape cases in Court were taken as seriously as this Epping sex offender?

91 replies

FirstCuppa · 23/09/2025 10:27

I am sure this will be an unpopular opinion but here goes.
This guy has put his hand on a 14 yo and grown woman's leg/thigh and said he wants babies with them, told one they'd make a good wife asked two teens to kiss in public.

Don't get me wrong, creepy perv and sexually deviant with a minor yes. I'm not suggesting he should get asylum or not have been arrested.

I am shocked this is being suggested as the most important sex offender crime the Courts have had to see this year. All the coverage! We have so many men who rape and abuse for years and victims don't see a court room for years. How has public opinion pushed this relatively minor incident to the fore? Why do the men draped in flags setting fire to things and peeing all over monuments not care about the low rape convictions, for example?

I'm so confused about this. Do men actually now care about rape and sexual assault or is it because of the way this one looks? The BBC is going in heavy with only a few references to what he actually did. Frankly, and this may say more about my local, I used to get older men doing this to me and my friends as a teen all through the 90's. It was grim but I doubt I'd have got far if I had reported it as sexual assault.

OP posts:
MissFenellaPrism · 23/09/2025 16:10

GypsyQueeen · 23/09/2025 16:05

Which of course makes sense. I understand a lot of the rioters last summer pleaded guilty so I guess there was no reason why they couldn't get them through the courts quickly.

The Government I think, do this when they want to show us they are cracking down, and taking it seriously.
Same with the guy in Epping. They don't want people taking to the streets again.

Yes, so it seems to be several factors

nomas · 23/09/2025 16:09

ParmaVioletTea · 23/09/2025 16:06

YANBU @FirstCuppa

And the information coming out about the numbers of men supposedly protecting "our women & children" by trying to burn down places where asylum seekers are house, who actually have convictions for domestic violence and assault is scary. Around 40% of them apparently.

Yep, as if rape and sexual by smelly scrotes is better somehow because they're white 'patriots'.

ParmaVioletTea · 23/09/2025 16:06

YANBU @FirstCuppa

And the information coming out about the numbers of men supposedly protecting "our women & children" by trying to burn down places where asylum seekers are house, who actually have convictions for domestic violence and assault is scary. Around 40% of them apparently.

GypsyQueeen · 23/09/2025 16:06

MissFenellaPrism · 23/09/2025 16:05

That makes sense, doesn't it. I'm guessing collating evidence to prepare for a conviction is variable.
The Sudanese man on trial allegedly raped that woman December 2021.

Yes, I was just reading that.

GypsyQueeen · 23/09/2025 16:05

GypsyQueeen · 23/09/2025 16:02

Apparently -

Cases with strong forensic evidence, such as DNA, fingerprints, or other digital data, can be processed more quickly because the evidence helps to directly link a suspect to a crime.

Which of course makes sense. I understand a lot of the rioters last summer pleaded guilty so I guess there was no reason why they couldn't get them through the courts quickly.

The Government I think, do this when they want to show us they are cracking down, and taking it seriously.
Same with the guy in Epping. They don't want people taking to the streets again.

MissFenellaPrism · 23/09/2025 16:05

GypsyQueeen · 23/09/2025 16:02

Apparently -

Cases with strong forensic evidence, such as DNA, fingerprints, or other digital data, can be processed more quickly because the evidence helps to directly link a suspect to a crime.

That makes sense, doesn't it. I'm guessing collating evidence to prepare for a conviction is variable.
The Sudanese man on trial allegedly raped that woman December 2021.

GypsyQueeen · 23/09/2025 16:02

MissFenellaPrism · 23/09/2025 16:01

Thanks, @GypsyQueeen . I'm just trying to look at some Home Office statistics, which are a bit contradictory. I'm still delving.

Apparently -

Cases with strong forensic evidence, such as DNA, fingerprints, or other digital data, can be processed more quickly because the evidence helps to directly link a suspect to a crime.

MissFenellaPrism · 23/09/2025 16:01

Thanks, @GypsyQueeen . I'm just trying to look at some Home Office statistics, which are a bit contradictory. I'm still delving.

GypsyQueeen · 23/09/2025 15:57

FirstCuppa · 23/09/2025 15:52

No, we don't fast track them if the people accused are from here.
See the problem?

The police have arrested one man who is out on bail pending further investigation, and are still looking for the second.

Tbh I think the Government are keen for fast track for certain crimes/ situations. It's a way to keep the peace I think.

The rioters last summer got fast tracked. This guy in Epping got fast tracked.

nomas · 23/09/2025 15:57

MissFenellaPrism · 23/09/2025 15:45

Has that case come to court?

Even when it comes to court, the BBC won’t be live reporting it on their website from court.

This is unprecedented.

MissFenellaPrism · 23/09/2025 15:54

FirstCuppa · 23/09/2025 15:52

No, we don't fast track them if the people accused are from here.
See the problem?

So, they're fast tracked if the accused are asylum seekers or migrants? That's shocking.
I'm going to check this with the Home Office.

FirstCuppa · 23/09/2025 15:52

MissFenellaPrism · 23/09/2025 15:45

Has that case come to court?

No, we don't fast track them if the people accused are from here.
See the problem?

OP posts:
ginasevern · 23/09/2025 15:45

@FirstCuppa "What we need is men to realise it is all men, and they need to be part of the change - calling out friends for abusing wives, not cat calling etc rather than carrying on pretending it's only "those" sort of men, not men like them."

Well, your talking to the right person because I personally believe that the vast majority of men (from any demographic) are cunts. Unfortunately I don't think we'll ever get to stage where men will do all the things you suggest. A woman's safety or dignity is not worth the loss of their ginormous egos for a start. Anyway, they're not the ones in danger and they will always see women as lesser beings and/or sperm receptacles. If anything I think things have got worse with the advent of 24/7 porn, date rape drugs and the rise of the incel culture.

MissFenellaPrism · 23/09/2025 15:45

nomas · 23/09/2025 15:44

It’s the same reason why when you’re charged with a crime, you’re more likely to be convicted if you’re black or Asian. Plain old racism.

I agree with you, OP, he should be deported but it’s crazy that this is getting more coverage than the rape of a Sikh woman by 2 white far right racist men 2 weeks ago.

Has that case come to court?

nomas · 23/09/2025 15:44

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 23/09/2025 15:43

You really really haven’t.

She really has. Your comprehension isn’t her problem.

nomas · 23/09/2025 15:44

It’s the same reason why when you’re charged with a crime, you’re more likely to be convicted if you’re black or Asian. Plain old racism.

I agree with you, OP, he should be deported but it’s crazy that this is getting more coverage than the rape of a Sikh woman by 2 white far right racist men 2 weeks ago.

MissFenellaPrism · 23/09/2025 15:43

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 23/09/2025 15:43

You really really haven’t.

Thank you 👍

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 23/09/2025 15:43

FirstCuppa · 23/09/2025 15:38

You are minimising my posts. I have written my issues clearly.

You really really haven’t.

MissFenellaPrism · 23/09/2025 15:43

ShesTheAlbatross · 23/09/2025 15:40

It fairly obvious that that’s not what she’s saying.

She’s saying she wishes the “protect our women and girls” crowd cared about all women and girls, whoever abused them. 1 in 20 children in the uk have been sexually abused (NSPCC stats), 500,000 sexually abused per year (gov stats) - why aren’t we all screaming about that. Where is the march?

Reform has an MP who went to prison for assaulting his girlfriend, so yes, absolutely throw the book at this man in Epping, but can we please be spared Farage’s “I just want women to be safe” bullshit. I’d be more inclined to believe him if he stopped supporting his MP.

Thank you - you actually have clarified it, and I take your point. I thought she was referring to the gravity of the assault and that it shouldn't take priority.
You've been much clearer.

GypsyQueeen · 23/09/2025 15:42

FirstCuppa · 23/09/2025 15:27

He didn't rape anyone.
My point was that while it's great he was seen and "made an example of" it is being seen as a racist attack on a UK citizen. It is another man attacking another woman and being used as a distraction for a political issue rather than a sexist one.

We need to tackle violence against women and girls, like clearing the backlog of accused rapists waiting out of jail for years strolling along our streets who haven't been in Court. It's alarming to me that so many seem to be able to ignore that, not march for it at all and just seem to accept it because they probably are white. If they are a refugee we seem to fast track them for less than rape. I don't think that is a good system.

No he didn't rape anyone. He sexually assaulted two people (one of them a child), which is also illegal and carries a prison sentence.

Rape is one of the most difficult crimes to prove as there are rarely any witnesses and it is often a case of he says, she says & therefore very hard for the jury to come up with a guilty verdict behind reasonable doubt.

Of course much more needs to be done to protect women and girls. The majority of people agree with you there (both men and women). But that doesn't mean we turn a blind eye to what else is happening. That woman & child also deserved justice.

Blackbookofsmiles1 · 23/09/2025 15:42

You thought process is very worrying OP.

MissFenellaPrism · 23/09/2025 15:41

Interestingly, there's a Sudanese immigrant charged with rape in Bournemouth.
I don't know what you make of that case, OP

MissFenellaPrism · 23/09/2025 15:40

FirstCuppa · 23/09/2025 15:38

You are minimising my posts. I have written my issues clearly.

I am not "minimising" your posts. I am seeking clarity.
That's quite different.

ShesTheAlbatross · 23/09/2025 15:40

MissFenellaPrism · 23/09/2025 15:30

So, because many women and girls don't get justice and are victims of sexual harassment - and worse - this man should get off lightly?
Is that what you're saying?
Please clarify.

It fairly obvious that that’s not what she’s saying.

She’s saying she wishes the “protect our women and girls” crowd cared about all women and girls, whoever abused them. 1 in 20 children in the uk have been sexually abused (NSPCC stats), 500,000 sexually abused per year (gov stats) - why aren’t we all screaming about that. Where is the march?

Reform has an MP who went to prison for assaulting his girlfriend, so yes, absolutely throw the book at this man in Epping, but can we please be spared Farage’s “I just want women to be safe” bullshit. I’d be more inclined to believe him if he stopped supporting his MP.

FirstCuppa · 23/09/2025 15:38

MissFenellaPrism · 23/09/2025 15:37

So, you think it should have been low priority, that's your issue?

You are minimising my posts. I have written my issues clearly.

OP posts: