To be annoyed at friend for taking her kid to A&E so often

I’d agree this is a cultural issue. In the UK, it’s a fight to see a GP - who will then most likely fob you off. In other countries, doctors see sick kids. It’s the UK that’s broken.

I think this may be cultural. I was recently on holiday in Spain and DD got an ear infection. Took her to the local doctor expecting the usual prescription for antibiotics. He insisted that she must be seen at the hospital and referred her to a hospital 40 mins away, which took up an entire day of the holiday and at the end of it we got… a prescription for antibiotics. No idea why the first doctor couldn’t have done this but perhaps in the Spanish system it’s the norm to refer children to the hospital doctor for whatever is their ailment.

I haven’t heard of this before, but funnily enough experienced this recently.

Our next door neighbours are Polish. They flew back to Poland for a month to visit family this summer during the kids school holidays.

When I asked what they had planned they listed out a load of appointments with specialist doctors for each member of the family. Probably around 4 different doctors for each family member, so around 16 doctors appointments in total.

I presume the appointments would all be paid for privately. No idea what medications were given.

I also nearly died of sepsis after calling 111 and being sent away from A&E multiple times - they literally laughed at me over the phone and told me that if I called again they would just repeat there was nothing wrong with me.

A close family member also nearly died of sepsis in hospital and family caught nurses faking his obs when he was actually going into septic shock. If family had not stayed by his side in shifts he would have died of negligence/malpractice.

I think NHS standards are shocking and for some reason we are expected to not complain and be nothing but grateful even when we are permanently harmed by poor care. I have friends from other countries who fly home for care.

Ear infections should be seen the same day so you can get started on antibiotics asap. You don't want to muck around with them, they can lead to hearing loss/permanent balance issues, as well as being painful and debilitating.

It's probably a mix of different cultural norms and being an attention seeking hypochondriac.

On the one hand, no, you shouldn't be going to A&E in any country in the world for the type of problems you describe in your OP.

On the other hand, part of the reason why A&E is so overwhelmed in the UK is that people can't get seen by their GP for minor problems.

I live in France and if I phone the GP's surgery at 7:30am because someone in my family is unwell, they will usually manage to fit us in that day. A couple of months ago I phoned for an urgent appointment because I had a really bad cold that seemed to be getting much worse rather than better. They fit me in that morning, my GP listened to my chest and prescribed me blood tests (to be done separately at a lab) and a chest X-ray, and signed me off work for the next three days. I went straight to the lab for the blood tests, got the results back about an hour later, then went to the nearest radiography centre for the chest X-ray, which confirmed that I had a bad pulmonary infection. So then the GP prescribed antibiotics using the app, which I picked up from the pharmacy that afternoon. Three days later I still wasn't feeling better so the GP prescribed some stronger antibiotics and that sorted it.

I have never had to wait to get a GP appointment or felt the need to go to A&E to get seen for something that wasn't an accident or an emergency.

And back in December when both my children were sick during the night right before Christmas, we managed to get a double out of hours GP appointment at 5:30am in a town about a 15 minute drive away. By 6am we were back home with a prescription for antibiotics.

I treat our local hospital like a walk-in clinic and I'm not a hypochondriac or particularly health anxious.

Our GP is so shit that you can't get an appointment if you ring after 8.31am. You're told to ring back the next day when you still can't get an appointment. Essentially they hope you'll go away. My older child was sent home from school with wheeziness, which turned out to be difficulty breathing, and I rang the GP but was told no appointments available. It worsened so we headed to A&E, where it became apparent he was having a severe asthma attack.

As far as I'm concerned, my children are entitled to prompt medical treatment whenever they need it, and as their parent that is my judgement call to make. If we can't get the care they need through primary health services, then we're heading to the hospital. I'm not over-anxious but for toddlers and babies especially, who can't communicate what they're feeling, I'd always play it safe and get them checked out.

Having read the sad story on the news this morning about Jessica Brady, I don't blame any parent for getting the help they need if they have concerns about their child. Getting a Doctor's appointment is nearly impossible these days and a telephone call with the Doctor is not the same. Our local A&E has a children's section and when I went there with my child - they never made me feel that I was wasting their time.

I live in Spain and am on Spanish healthcare - it runs differently from the NHS, specialists ONLY prescribe within their specialism, so a Family Doctor would not usually see a child patient, they would be seen by their pediatrician.

But yes, her British DH should be explaining this.

100000% this !

I’m originally from Eastern Europe, and over there everything healthcare related works so differently.
When you have children, you’re automatically assigned a paediatrician. During pregnancy, you see a gynaecologist regularly, and doctors are always the ones who deliver births and handle the process etc.

P.S. I’ve lived in the UK long enough to be used to how things work here now, but yeah… it’s still quite a contrast compared to the system on the continent.

Short of not listening to her, it's really nothing to do with you how often she goes to a&e to be fair. Either cut contact or switch off when she starts rambling

I think it’s probably a cultural thing. I was a bit shocked when I moved back here from the US where we’d had a named paediatrician, an on call nurse you could talk to during office hours, a nearby 24 hour urgent care clinic where you could always see a GP within a few minutes for very little cost and then was confronted with an incompetent health visitor who wanted to come to our house to do nothing but wave a questionnaire and was always hours late…

Oh come on you know how annoying these photos are.
I completely judge any twat that takes a photo of a child in hospital. It is done purely for the parent to get attention.

Hopefully once she gets a call from the health visitor/school nurse due to the number of A&E visits she’ll realise it’s not normal.

I think the NHS is shit. You can't get a gp apointment, a and e is an 8 hour wait.
For people used to being able to call up a dr and then just go and see the specialist you need in the space of 20 minutes, it must be a huge shock.
I have lived overseas in asia, middle east and europe and it is vastly different. No wonder she is confused.
I think healthcare should be fully privatised with a benefit to cover the insurance you can claim for if you can't afford it.

Perhaps cultural differences? In Spain maybe walk in medical centres are the norm so she doesn’t quite realise that A&E here is for emergencies.
Maybe next time ask her does she know she can call 111/her GP for things like this.

Is she is enrolled at a GP surgery?
If not she needs to do so.

I live in a small village on the outskirts of a tourist area. We don't have a gp surgery in the village, nor do other surrounding villages so people use the local hospital as a walk in centre like your friend, along with the tourists. It's an absolute nightmare!

Different cultural norms? a lot of the world go to the hospital for small things and you wait and see a dr there, because there’s an expectation of not having to wait 3 weeks and ring up at 8am to see one. it’s what I did in china, you get a ticket, you see the dr at the hospital fairly quickly.

Hate to state the bleeding obvious but ‘Europeans’ are welcome to reside in a country that isn’t so awful as the U.K. We are stuck with it. They have choice.

The irony is though, that part of the reason that the NHS is in its current state is people abusing it! A&E for a scrape on the nose is an utter waste of time, leading to longer waiting times for everyone.

I think some people are just total hypochondriacs.

I have a good friend who has many great qualities - but she or her children seem to be ill every week. Everyone’s temperature is constantly being analysed. Plans endlessly cancelled because someone has a cold. Always some ongoing hospital appointments for some issue they can’t find a solution to.

I can’t really take her seriously when she talks about anything illness related now.

Absolutely this. We have such a weird attitude to healthcare in the UK. ‘Don’t bother the doctors’ sums it up.

I have a friend who does this. I asked her once why she didn't see the GP. She looked baffled and said, what can the GP do that the hospital can't...?

You say she likes the drama, but clearly you do too.

She's not your friend as you dislike her, but keep her on Snapchat so you can have a little bitch about her.

If you simply remove her from all social media, then that's your problem solved, you don't have to witness it and you won't be able to tell if she's expecting you to fawn all over her.

A&E will soon tell her if they feel she's misusing the service.