Why does sex seem to be just a commodity these days?

I wouldn’t be able to have sex with someone I didn’t know, trust and like at least a little as a person if not romantically. That is me. Other people are different.

I lost my virginity to someone I’d met 2 hours before. Zero regrets, we had an absolutely amazing night and to be honest it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. It was purely about sex (albeit it was very loving, consensual, intimate), there was nothing else to it and we both knew we wouldn’t be keeping in touch.

My parents would die a death if they knew!, but I have no regrets at all. Admittedly I was older, I was 32, and it’s not something I’d say a younger adult should do. But at the age I was I’m very glad I did it.

Unfair, judgemental post.
Posted by an educated individual who is not naive

That is an urban myth.

I think there is still a stigma about women having sex on the first date. Men (virtually) always want sex as soon as possible, but seem to want to feel that they are special and being selected by the woman, not that the woman would have sex with any attractive (to them) man immediately. Then they are surprised and even put off a bit if the woman is too eager. Still very much double standards out there.

On a previous thread, started by the OP, she complained that women don't get priceless menus anymore. Amongst other things.

Thank you OP, I appreciate you were only asking.
Very much a individual view and neither is wrong.
I wouldn't be able to engage in intimate sexual activity with someone I didn't have strong emotional feelings for. I am sure that i will be considered prudish by some.
Each to what is right for them and no judgement

For some maybe. If you were middle class and in London during the swinging sixties. Free love didn’t really reach the suburbs and the provinces.

What does this mean?

These days? Since human life began.
Some era's were more discreet than others.

@DarkPassenger1

If you think that the majority of the world only engages in sex because they love a serious partner then you're incredibly naive and not very educated.

This 💯

Its not a new thing

I've been with dp since I was 19. Who I slept with on the first date. I'm 35 and we're still going strong.

Exactly. I’m 53, so not new to sex and sexual mores, and to me it’s a complete moral neutral, an enjoyable physical activity that has fortunately, since the advent of reliable contraception, been almost divorced from having children. It’s not some kind of privileged or elevated thing for me. I’ve had excellent sex with people I didn’t much like.

You didn't mean for the adjectives 'cheap', 'sad', and 'soulless' to sound critical?

OK.

The these days element of the OP is very disingenuous, go back 60 years and sexual liberation was very much en vogue

I think sex is a commodity when you withhold it/trade it in exchange for things, if it's just two consenting adults engaging with each other sexually I don't see how it's a commodity and I say that as someone who has been married/in a monogamous long term relationship for 16 years .

As with many MN posts that seem to stem from a very blinkered POV…because people are different and want/like different things. It’s really not rocket science.

I have great sex with DH and I’ve had great sex in the past on a one night stand or after a date. I’ve also had bad sex in those situations.

'These days'? lol

Sex for all of human history has been engaged in for a variety of reasons, ranging from within a loving relationship to pure procreation to simple fun between friends or strangers to forging links between different groups to financial security.

If you think that the majority of the world only engages in sex because they love a serious partner then you're incredibly naive and not very educated.

I agree. It's gross. I would have to actually know someone well and have a connection with them. I wouldn't get anything out of shagging a randomer, very unappealing.

I dont think there's anything new in this. Its been human nature (for some people) for 100s of years.
The Internet just means you hear all about it more these days.

The thing I like this view and would think along those lines myself. The problem is I’ve yet to meet a man that doesn’t act like he owns me as he has sex with me or complained he didn’t have to work for it or some rubbish along those lines. From the ages 18-50 I’ve had to listen to men whom I slept with lecture me on why I shouldn’t have sex with them so soon. I took no notice stopped have sex for 10 years thought it would be better after waiting it was just the same. I think this seems to be a male problem, not a female one. I’m rather pleased my sex drive has tapered off, in fact relieved if only I had this sex drive when I was young.

It's OK to do these things and it's OK not to do these things.

I would argue that someone who enthusiastically jumps into bed with a new partner on the first date is treating sex as a fun recreational activity, whereas someone who holds it back in exchange for some sort of commitment is treating it as a commodity.

People who use expressions such as "why would he buy the cow when he's getting the milk for free?" are explicitly treating sex as a commodity to be exchanged for some sort of reward.

Other people's attitudes to their own sexuality and private lives are absolutely none of your business, OP. Focus on yourself and leave other consenting adults be.

Im in a long term relationship now but use to sleep around its only sex its just fun nothing more then that i was always safe. It doesn't have to be this big deep thing. I loved having the independence of being single without missing out on sex.