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AIBU?

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Original poster

"Can I take you out for a meal"?

318 replies

RachelTopliss · 22/09/2025 20:16

Would you find this odd? It sounds like it's come from the 70s. What's a meal anyway? It sounds creepy. Lunch or dinner maybe yes but a meal?

I said I was busy.

OP posts:
Jtfrtj · 22/09/2025 22:39

whatasillygoose · 22/09/2025 21:02

Yeah I agree too but also can’t really verbalise why.

Would you like to go for dinner/lunch/a meal? Fine.

Take you out for… Sounds a bit eurgh to me. I don’t need to be ‘taken out’ or treated.

Show quote history

I doubt anyone has ever said or implied that you need to be taken out and treated. When someone has a romantic interest in you, and is offering to take you out and pay, it’s a nice gesture, and should be taken as so.

Decline the invitation for whatever reason you like, but it seems this wave of modern feminism has left a bitter taste in everyone. Why do so many women jump to this defensive state of “I don’t need no man” at the slightest sign of chivalry. I’m from another culture and was discussing something similar on an earlier thread. If I am invited to dinner by a man it is expected that it will be his treat, I don’t see any offense in this.

Lamplight101 · 22/09/2025 22:32

I would have thought it preferable to “go for food”, I picture cavemen when I hear that phrase. Either way it sounds like the chap had a lucky escape.

Firefly1987 · 22/09/2025 22:30

Oh dear we always say something like that in my family "mum would you like to go out for a meal for your birthday?" so it's definitely not said in a creepy way! I'll be thinking about this next time the birthdays come round!

Mercurial123 · 22/09/2025 22:29

Tinkerbellflowers · 22/09/2025 22:24

Meal sounds like something dogs eat. Horrible word 🤮

There really are strange people out there.

Pigeontails · 22/09/2025 22:25

Nothing wrong with it. Have you also considered the person doing the asking might have been feeling a bit nervous and their words came out wrong, if ‘ meal’ is such a faux pas for your generation (whatever that is)

Cucy · 22/09/2025 22:25

You’ve got issues mate.

A meal is breakfast, lunch, dinner/tea.

Take you out = will you join him.

He’s dodged a massive bullet here.

Tinkerbellflowers · 22/09/2025 22:24

Meal sounds like something dogs eat. Horrible word 🤮

NapoleonsToe · 22/09/2025 22:22

Judd · 22/09/2025 22:19

@NapoleonsToeit's uncle-ish. OP said that the phrase was something her uncle would say.

Aha, thank you Grin

lowlight · 22/09/2025 22:21

Would you like to go out for food? - same turn of phrase but sounds better

Meal is a horrible word.

hadjustaboutenough · 22/09/2025 22:20

I guess we can't control what we find creepy or cringe-inducing, but I do think you're limiting your options and possibly missing out on something wonderful if you allow yourself to be turned off by every little thing. Still, if you're not compatible, I suppose the sooner you find out, the better it is for you both!

I don't think I've ever known anyone for a significant length of time who hasn't eventually phrased things in a way I wouldn't have chosen. I've cringed at the things that come out of my own mouth many, many times, too. I don't think you'd have found it a 'turn-downable offence' if you were attracted to him, so maybe it's just as well.

whatasillygoose · 22/09/2025 22:20

Horsie · 22/09/2025 22:16

It means they'll pay. (Normally.)

Some people are very touchy!😂

Edited
Show quote history

I agree. It’s interesting how touchy people get about women expressing an opinion about a man they might/might not want to date.

You might be horrified to know I don’t like doors being opened for me if it’s because I’m a woman.

Judd · 22/09/2025 22:19

@NapoleonsToeit's uncle-ish. OP said that the phrase was something her uncle would say.

RedRec · 22/09/2025 22:19

The word 'meal' always comes up in the ick-type threads but I can never fathom why people find it so repulsive.

Sirmagoo · 22/09/2025 22:17

Agree, it's creepy and I think of the Seinfeld episode with his friend Bania- "Soup's not a meal." "Can I get my meal?"

Horsie · 22/09/2025 22:16

whatasillygoose · 22/09/2025 21:55

It’s the ‘take you…’ for me. I don’t need to be taken anywhere.

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It means they'll pay. (Normally.)

Some people are very touchy!😂

Eleph42 · 22/09/2025 22:16

Get over yourself 🤣🙄

Henbags · 22/09/2025 22:15

Crikey, you sound like hard work.

Horsie · 22/09/2025 22:14

OP, are you very young? The phrase you used in a date context would normally mean dinner. Perhaps young people don't usually say "meal"? The equivalent for me would be when my dad referred to dinner as his "evening meal." I don't know, it just sounded old-fashioned. I always called it dinner.

I believe "fortnight" might be on the way out for Gez Z, too. Could be wrong.

I think the sentence is totally, completely normal. I can hardly think of a more normal way to ask someone out. Not creepy in the slightest. That's why I wondered if you're very young and this is a generation thing. I don't know what the young say. "Want to get some bussin' pizza all up in our grills? Wear your best drip. We'll slay, no cap."

Better? 😂

Left · 22/09/2025 22:13

Needs more context.

A stranger sitting behind the bus whispers this into your ear… That would be very creepy.

Although I think I’d find it odd phrasing on a dating app tbh. It doesn’t feel like natural conversational flow.

Pyjamatimenow · 22/09/2025 22:13

Men who want to take you to restaurants tend to be more genuinely interested than those offering coffee,walks or other low investment date activities.

Mercurial123 · 22/09/2025 22:12

RachelTopliss · 22/09/2025 21:20

This is it I think. I can't explain why it put me off. It feels like my uncle Fred saying it. I'm 36 for those asking.

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You sound like hard work. The person who invited you has had a lucky escape.

ArtesianWater · 22/09/2025 22:08

TheAquaCrab · 22/09/2025 20:20

I agree OP. Although I can’t explain why - a bloke once asked me out and said he’d get some ‘nice picky bits in’. I never turned up! Argh, what a cringe

Totally different imo. Can I take you out for a meal = normal, nice invitation. Get some picky bits in = delete and block.

BustyLaRoux · 22/09/2025 22:04

Oh god. No. Just no. I’m with you OP. Something weird about that phrasing. Very off putting. Can’t quite put my finger on why.

It’s a bit like when we visit my dad. He asks “do you want feeding??” (As opposed to “would you like to stay for dinner?”) There’s just something off about it.

vickylou78 · 22/09/2025 22:03

Would be totally normal thing to say here!

MyElatedUmberFinch · 22/09/2025 22:02

Mydadsbirthday · 22/09/2025 21:41

I accept it's a normal thing to say but I'm with the OP. I can't bear the word "meal". It makes me feel sick.

Are you able to buy a meal deal or happy meal?

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