"Can I take you out for a meal"?

It’s probably for the best.

What's a meal anyway? It sounds creepy. Lunch or dinner maybe yes but a meal?

What an odd thing to say …

Yea what a lunatic! 🙄

The human race is going to die out pretty darn quickly at this rate

It is perhaps a little stilted, but I would think that
(a) asking someone out (for the first time presumably?) is a bit nerve-wracking and people might speak unnaturally
(b) he’s trying to be non-specific as to which meal to allow you the choice of formality and/or intimacy you’re comfortable with.

You are of course free to not go out with any person for any reason, but if that’s his only issue I think you’re being a bit hasty.

I kind of feel for these guys if they’re expected to be doing the asking, then having their precise word choice and syntax scrutinised, and rather harsh conclusions drawn on that basis.

What would you like them to say instead? I don't get this at all.

Maybe the OP thinks ‘meal’ is code for ‘foreplay with me wearing my gimp mask’.

I’m actually used to using the word ‘meal’ - in fact dinner sounds overly formal to me but it wouldn’t make run for the hills! Think he dodged a bullet if you’re that sensitive over food related terminology. You obviously just didn’t fancy him, I’m sure if it was a young Brad Pitt lookalike who asked you’d look past it quick enough 🙄.

Ha! We’re obviously in the weird minority OP! I hate ‘a meal’ I also really hate ‘go out for something to eat’ - I’m difficult, I get it.

The word 'meal' makes me wince.
Barium meal, meal worms, bone meal, mealy mouthed (though I like that expression).

Now, I trust if he said 'can I take you out for a sumptuous repast' you'd have been all over that like gravy on chips.

How can we be “acting like” she owes him a date, when it’s written forum and nobody has said in black and white any such thing?

It was a kind and well worded offer, standard etiquette would be to graciously accept or decline. Not get grossed out by the choice of wording.

A meal is when you sit and eat food, probably dinner. Alone or with someone else, in this case with someone who wanted to spend more time with you. Eating a meal out is a social pastime for many and a traditional sort of date for the romantically inclined. It isn't creepy to ask someone out for a meal. If you decline and they act creepy after then its creepy. But so far, so not creepy.

Surely you know what a meal is OP!!! 🤦‍♀️

You are being really weird! 🤦‍♀️

Without context - to me it implies that the person asking

(1) wants to make sure there's no misunderstanding that they mean to treat you, which is why they use the more awkward "take you out" (which can sound bossy or infantilising in certain contexts) rather than "let's go... " or "would you like to go... "

(2) wants to leave it up to you what you'd find convenient and appropriate. For example, some people would find dinner too much of a commitment (if this were like a blind date kind of thing) and would prefer "for tea" or "for a drink" so they can get away if it's uncomfortable. Others might feel like asking someone for tea or a drink means you don't want to spend much money or time. Some people simply could not go out for lunch but could schedule dinner, or vice versa. They want to leave it as open-ended as possible in the hopes that you'll say yes to something, and will feel free to say what you'd prefer.

Blimey. He was being nice. If you don't like the idea of being treated u just say, I'd like to, but I'll pay my share.

If you don't fancy him you say ' no thank you, I'm on a diet' or ' yes, shall we invite some mutual friends and have a nice friends dinner? I hear Sarah likes you'

Or you could freak out completely at being asked out. ' no, thank you! I prefer to sit indoors and I can't possibly date anyone who says ' meal'

Exactly what I was thinking, he was talking about food, not a fucking gimp mask

At least he found out early how strange you are.

This is widely used expression in the English language. The only time a man used it at me and it was creepy, was because I was 31 and very young looking and he was 60 and he said it in a hobby and I froze and asked: what about your relatives, what they will think about going out with a young woman. He said his relatives do not live in our city and he is widower. It was a social event where we had drinks after the big finale of the event and a lady next to us overheard it, came to me, and said: there, in the back , his wife is in the wheelchair, he does this to each woman who looks a bit younger than 40

Yes, you're busy posting on mumsnet which is obviously more enjoyable than food with someone whose company you enjoy. Assuming you were into them because you appear to object to the wording more than the sentiment.

Obviously you aren't into them. Wild horses wouldn't have kept me away from a date with DH.

No one has said that, at all.

By saying "a meal" he was leaving it open to you to choose lunch or dinner. Stop being weird. It's hard asking someone out - he doesn't need you reading all sorts of daft things into his invitation.

Sounds like the poor lad has had a lucky escape.

Creepy?

Well, my mind is blown. Sometimes I say 'we were out for a meal', genuinely had no idea I was being creepy.

Gosh you are all acting like she should be grateful and owes this man a date.

User name checks out! 🤭