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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Can I take you out for a meal"?

318 replies

RachelTopliss · 22/09/2025 20:16

Would you find this odd? It sounds like it's come from the 70s. What's a meal anyway? It sounds creepy. Lunch or dinner maybe yes but a meal?

I said I was busy.

OP posts:
Cucy · 23/09/2025 05:16

If you wanted to take your mum/DD/friend out as a treat how would you phrase it?

I can’t see an alternative unless you say something like dinner, which means you only want to go out at a specific time of day, instead of letting them decide and you also risk the misinterpretation of which meal is dinner etc.

stillhiding1990 · 23/09/2025 04:57

namechangedohmy · 23/09/2025 04:43

This question is lifted from Reddit, word for word. That’s what I find weird

you find it weird op posted the same question on Reddit? Many people here have accounts with other social media platforms so not that weird for her to post on another forum?

namechangedohmy · 23/09/2025 04:43

This question is lifted from Reddit, word for word. That’s what I find weird

stillhiding1990 · 23/09/2025 04:35

You could have said - ‘I could meet you got a spot of lunch’, as ‘take you out for a meal’ sounds like they would pick you up at your house and drive you

Overtheatlantic · 23/09/2025 04:25

PennyRest · 23/09/2025 00:32

I would acknowledge my own weirdness for sure but I hate the word ‘meal’. But it’s better than the steak dinner my friend was once invited to. I know IABU here.

Edited

😂

beready2025 · 23/09/2025 04:17

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Fleetheart · 23/09/2025 04:07

THisbackwithavengeance · 23/09/2025 03:40

In my head he said it in an Uncle Bryn Welsh accent.

Or sung it as part of a Franz Ferdinand song?

You have to feel sorry for men really, they can’t do right for wrong.

yes 😅

THisbackwithavengeance · 23/09/2025 03:40

In my head he said it in an Uncle Bryn Welsh accent.

Or sung it as part of a Franz Ferdinand song?

You have to feel sorry for men really, they can’t do right for wrong.

PoshestPaws · 23/09/2025 03:19

I used to think I was strange for having such strong responses to words, then I came across Helen Walsh and her “shovel list” in Marian Keyes books.

I know it’s just a character in a book but I have never identified with anyone so much 😂.

It’s not like the character materialised out of nowhere, MK has said she based Helen on herself and other people, she has written a few books (some autobiographies) with similar strong aversions to words and phrases.

I now use the term “evening food” rather than saying “meal” or “dinner” l think it’s an excellent alternative.

If someone I liked asked me out using those words OP I’d probably gently tease them about it in case it was due to nerves. If they laugh along and see your point then it’s a bonus.

I had similar with an ex who said on our first date that he needed a drink because he was “completely parched”.
There was nothing really wrong with the statement and really it showed he had a good vocabulary, it just gave me the ick for no reason. I told him he sounded like my Nan when she wanted a cup of tea. We laughed about it for years and it became a running joke, I think sometimes these things are a good test because I find someone sensitive to criticism isn’t a good partner.

Isittimeformynapyet · 23/09/2025 02:24

NapoleonsToe · 22/09/2025 22:02

Got to ask, what on earth is uncleish?

Show quote history

It took me a moment for it to register too. At first I thought it was a strange Scottish word😂

Anyway, you've probably already been told the poster was trying to say uncle-ish. Missed a perfect opportunity to use the word "avuncular".

TheBlueUser · 23/09/2025 02:24

YABU, so he phrased it slightly awkwardly - but at least he's showing he's willing to put in some effort and take you out.

I feel in this case there are probably other issues with the guy and you're already put off, so now in your eyes everything he does is weird.

bluebettyy · 23/09/2025 02:23

You're weird

arcticpandas · 23/09/2025 02:22

RachelTopliss · 22/09/2025 21:20

This is it I think. I can't explain why it put me off. It feels like my uncle Fred saying it. I'm 36 for those asking.

Show quote history

I'm 45 and it sounds perfectly normal to me. Especially if he wanted you to decide for lunch or supper. I think you're the one being weird tbh.

Toastandbutterand · 23/09/2025 01:55

I think I'd say yes.

Just from the sheer shock of someone saying what yhey actually means for a change.

MsAmerica · 23/09/2025 01:44

RachelTopliss · 22/09/2025 20:16

Would you find this odd? It sounds like it's come from the 70s. What's a meal anyway? It sounds creepy. Lunch or dinner maybe yes but a meal?

I said I was busy.

Not creepy at all. He's saying: I'd love to take you to dinner, but if that sounds too formal, I'll settle for lunch.

Justlikebono · 23/09/2025 00:50

Sounds totally normal, I don’t get how it can be classed as creepy

caringcarer · 23/09/2025 00:43

What's wrong with being offered to be taken for a meal?

Todayismyfavouriteday · 23/09/2025 00:39

That's a perfectly nice way to offer a lunch or dinner. What's wrong with you?

PennyRest · 23/09/2025 00:32

I would acknowledge my own weirdness for sure but I hate the word ‘meal’. But it’s better than the steak dinner my friend was once invited to. I know IABU here.

LBFseBrom · 23/09/2025 00:32

It's quite a normal thing to say.

chattyness · 23/09/2025 00:01

It sounds polite and respectful to me, he wants to take you out for a meal which usually means he wants to pay for it too, totally normal.

MyElatedUmberFinch · 22/09/2025 23:46

It’s amazing anyone ends up with anyone going by this thread. I knew people had lists where men had to be over six feet, wear the right shoes etc but I didn’t realise phrases were such a thing.

Goditsmemargaret · 22/09/2025 23:42

During the mid 90s I met a gorgeous looking young man in a bar and spent a portion of the evening wearing the face off him. We got dragged away to separate venues by our friends but not before I thrust my phone number in his pocket, never expecting to hear from him again.

Imagine my excitement when the next day he phoned.

He asked me would I like to 'catch a movie'.

And that was it. Over before it began.

tinylegoscars · 22/09/2025 23:37

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Heylittlesongbird · 22/09/2025 23:37

RachelTopliss · 22/09/2025 21:20

This is it I think. I can't explain why it put me off. It feels like my uncle Fred saying it. I'm 36 for those asking.

Show quote history

Unless your uncle Fred’s surname was West then that’s really not a problem.

Can I take you for a meal is a quite straightforward question. It’s clear the asker wants to treat you and that they’re leaving it up to you as to which meal it is.

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