Page 4 | "Can I take you out for a meal"?

AutumnyCrow · 23/09/2025 10:35

Plastictreees · 23/09/2025 08:18

Just why 😱😱🤣🤣

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The putative host is trying to make it seem extremely casual so it’s no big deal if the offer is declined or if it’s not a success on either side.

‘It’s just a spot of lunch; it doesn’t mean we’re engaged or anything’.

Crunchienuts · 23/09/2025 10:33

AgentPidge · 23/09/2025 10:22

Also, what do you say instead of "pardon"? DH (who was brought up proper) has trained me to say Pardon? instead of What? or Eh? So I'm wondering what's left.

Pardon is apparently used by more aspiring middle class trying to seem posher. What is fine (according to my upper middle class parents!) I use both.

BustyLaRoux · 23/09/2025 10:31

Plastictreees · 23/09/2025 07:52

Exactly this.

I feel the same about a ‘bite to eat’.

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🤣

Geranium1984 · 23/09/2025 10:27

Is this someone asking you out on a date? Sounds like a gentleman.
Take you out for a meal mean they want to treat you, and are clear they are paying 😀 what's not to like?

OneCleverEagle · 23/09/2025 10:24

AgentPidge · 23/09/2025 10:22

Also, what do you say instead of "pardon"? DH (who was brought up proper) has trained me to say Pardon? instead of What? or Eh? So I'm wondering what's left.

"Say that again please" or "Sorry I didn't catch that"

TheBerry · 23/09/2025 10:23

TheAquaCrab · 22/09/2025 20:20

I agree OP. Although I can’t explain why - a bloke once asked me out and said he’d get some ‘nice picky bits in’. I never turned up! Argh, what a cringe

Aw this broke my heart a bit. I can just imagine him sitting there all sad with his picky bits wondering where you are.

AgentPidge · 23/09/2025 10:22

Also, what do you say instead of "pardon"? DH (who was brought up proper) has trained me to say Pardon? instead of What? or Eh? So I'm wondering what's left.

AgentPidge · 23/09/2025 10:20

OneCleverEagle · 23/09/2025 10:08

Bathroom

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Nooo - only if it's got a bath in it! I've never understood that one. It's a bit like "powder room" - a euphemism because you're too coy to indicate what you might actually be doing in there.

Pharazon · 23/09/2025 10:13

OneCleverEagle · 23/09/2025 10:08

Bathroom

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God I'm not American!

Pharazon · 23/09/2025 10:12

Crunchienuts · 23/09/2025 10:06

Just wanted to know, what do you prefer to toilet? (Please let it be lavatory)

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Lavatory if being polite, loo casually.

PlumpAndDeliciousFatcat · 23/09/2025 10:10

Perhaps he is (gasp) northern and has fallen foul of the regional 'dinner' split too many times.

OneCleverEagle · 23/09/2025 10:08

Crunchienuts · 23/09/2025 10:06

Just wanted to know, what do you prefer to toilet? (Please let it be lavatory)

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Bathroom

cgywayatoofme · 23/09/2025 10:08

I don't think it's weird or creepy. It's leaving it open as to whether it's lunch or dinner, which you could then suggest. Lunch is normally less intimate than dinner and would give you the option to go for lunch if you felt dinner was too much at this point.
"Can I take you out?" is slightly old fashioned but it's indicating that he will be paying, rather than "Would you like to go out for a meal?" where it's more open as to whether he'll pay or the bills will be split.

I think the fact you are questioning this and feel it's creepy is more a reflection on how you feel about him. It's him you feel is creepy rather than what he actually said. I don't think you want to go out with him and that's fine. If it was someone you fancied and didn't feel creepy you probably wouldn't have even noticed the wording and just said "Yeah, great, lunch would be nice, when are you free?" And if you prefer to split bills on a first date you'd have said that to the non-creepy guy you fancy.

The fact it's a problem indicates you should just turn the invitation down and think no more about it.

Crunchienuts · 23/09/2025 10:06

Pharazon · 23/09/2025 10:04

It's right up there with "picky bits", "popping out", "poorly", "lounge", "toilet", "pardon" and others that send my usually well-controlled snobbery into overdrive. Unfortunately the ghost of Nancy Mitford lives on deep within.

Just wanted to know, what do you prefer to toilet? (Please let it be lavatory)

Pharazon · 23/09/2025 10:04

It's right up there with "picky bits", "popping out", "poorly", "lounge", "toilet", "pardon" and others that send my usually well-controlled snobbery into overdrive. Unfortunately the ghost of Nancy Mitford lives on deep within.

PlumpAndDeliciousFatcat · 23/09/2025 09:54

RachelTopliss · 22/09/2025 20:16

Would you find this odd? It sounds like it's come from the 70s. What's a meal anyway? It sounds creepy. Lunch or dinner maybe yes but a meal?

I said I was busy.

Lucky escape.

For him.

Plastictreees · 23/09/2025 09:54

CausalInference · 23/09/2025 09:39

Probably explains why you are single at 36 🤣, christ.

What’s so funny about being single at 36?

Justgorgeous · 23/09/2025 09:53

Christ - do you question everything ? He/she haven’t asked you for a threesome.

Well1mBack · 23/09/2025 09:49

123dontcomeatme · 22/09/2025 21:23

Its dated.
If you run it through chat gbt it reviews it as dated language. Awkward and stiff.

Thats why it feels off, because it's out of step with the here and now where conversation tends to be more fluid and relaxed.

Its not you op.

I give up on humanity now. I really, really do.

anotherside · 23/09/2025 09:39

Mercurial123 · 23/09/2025 08:38

This is just so dramatic... it's brilliant. I'm hoping this is irony but hard to tell on MN.

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He could have used “Let’s do st.” or “Shall we …?” ….. which would then been extremely presumptuous and pushy. 😂

Probably should have gone for “How about you take me out somewhere nice? We can split the bill if money’s a bit tight for you at the moment”.

CausalInference · 23/09/2025 09:39

Probably explains why you are single at 36 🤣, christ.

OneCleverEagle · 23/09/2025 09:33

TheAquaCrab · 22/09/2025 20:20

I agree OP. Although I can’t explain why - a bloke once asked me out and said he’d get some ‘nice picky bits in’. I never turned up! Argh, what a cringe

That I can agree with but it's totally different to the OP's issue.

anotherside · 23/09/2025 09:30

If you didn’t want to go fair enough, but the focus on the phrase he used is a bit OTT. I’d probably have been so flattered/surprised someone was interested in me (regardless of whether I would agree to the date) that the phrase/words they actually used wouldn’t have even registered until much later. 😅

Anonymous23456 · 23/09/2025 09:12

I think they were extremely polite. They gave you the opportunity to suggest if you'd prefer brunch, lunch or dinner. If you don't like them they you don't need to pick them or their apart interactions apart.

Crunchienuts · 23/09/2025 09:08

Personally, it would bother me. The “can I take you out” bit is clearly establishing that he is paying. Always lots of threads on here about tight men asking women out and then not paying. The meal bit is leaving it up to you if you prefer lunch or dinner. I think he sounds quite considerate actually.