Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Can I take you out for a meal"?

318 replies

RachelTopliss · 22/09/2025 20:16

Would you find this odd? It sounds like it's come from the 70s. What's a meal anyway? It sounds creepy. Lunch or dinner maybe yes but a meal?

I said I was busy.

OP posts:
MoralHighgroundersNeedToGetALife · 23/09/2025 22:39

Arlanymor · 23/09/2025 22:24

But still standing them up?

Show quote history

No, just a comment on the use of the phrase ‘picky bits’ in general.
Do I need to call my solicitor or am I free to go now?

Makemineacosmo · 23/09/2025 22:29

123dontcomeatme · 22/09/2025 21:03

Op, I agree with you.

I think it's quite old fashioned language that is dated. Depending on your ages it would weird me out even more.

No one under 40 talks like that, but then I also get the ick when men talk about enjoying watching box sets like it's 2002.

Old , stuck in the past and I take as a sign we are not a match.

No one under 40 talks like this? Of course they do, what utter nonsense.

I'm afraid I can't take anyone who uses ridiculous made up words such as 'ick' seriously anyway.

Arlanymor · 23/09/2025 22:24

MoralHighgroundersNeedToGetALife · 23/09/2025 22:21

No, just the general use of the phrase ‘picky bits’. At ease.

Show quote history

But still standing them up?

MoralHighgroundersNeedToGetALife · 23/09/2025 22:21

Arlanymor · 23/09/2025 21:53

Standing someone up? For a stupid reason?

Show quote history

No, just the general use of the phrase ‘picky bits’. At ease.

Chinsupmeloves · 23/09/2025 22:04

It's a simple classic for i would like to spend time time with you in a civil manner.

Arlanymor · 23/09/2025 21:53

MoralHighgroundersNeedToGetALife · 23/09/2025 18:45

Now this I totally get.

Show quote history

Standing someone up? For a stupid reason?

Smoggy55 · 23/09/2025 21:31

Absolutely nothing wrong with that polite request, feel glad that someone had the decency to ask you out. Maybe he thought it was the proper way to get to know you. What on earth did you expect?🙄

BeenzManeenz · 23/09/2025 21:26

This can't be real. God, grow up.

CyanMaker · 23/09/2025 20:10

What's the problem? I'd just say " I'd love that, what did you have in mind?"

RJ2023 · 23/09/2025 19:38

Unless they said it as:

Can I take you out for a "meal"? (whilst doing air quotes with their hands) I think it sounds fine...

Sera1989 · 23/09/2025 19:28

I would prefer to be asked that than “can I take you for a bite to eat”. It doesn’t make sense because you eat food… in several bites… not the bite itself, but it just sounds kind of gross in a way that I can’t explain

OliviaEyeLiveEre · 23/09/2025 19:26

Really? It’s not like you were asked if you want to be taken out for a mealworm, then you would have a point.

Ew Donut GIF by NowThis
CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 23/09/2025 19:17

I have found my people. Shall we go to dinner to celebrate?

Namechanged555 · 23/09/2025 19:15

I also hate the word meal. And I cannot explain why x

MoralHighgroundersNeedToGetALife · 23/09/2025 18:45

TheAquaCrab · 22/09/2025 20:20

I agree OP. Although I can’t explain why - a bloke once asked me out and said he’d get some ‘nice picky bits in’. I never turned up! Argh, what a cringe

Now this I totally get.

JuliaLilian · 23/09/2025 18:41

TheAquaCrab · 22/09/2025 20:20

I agree OP. Although I can’t explain why - a bloke once asked me out and said he’d get some ‘nice picky bits in’. I never turned up! Argh, what a cringe

How hurtful and rude. The poor bloke waiting there. Just because he used the “wrong words”. Sounds like he was best out of it.

Vitriolinsanity · 23/09/2025 18:40

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 23/09/2025 18:32

I hate the world 'meal'. I fully recognise that its my problem to have...but its an awful word.

Me too. It feels oddly chewy and a bit mealy (I know!) when I hear it said.

But it’s a perfectly benign question. I can’t really think why you’d have said flat no.

Imagine if the poor chap had asked you to go for a drive, which boys did when I was in my teens and twenties.

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 23/09/2025 18:32

I hate the world 'meal'. I fully recognise that its my problem to have...but its an awful word.

Rosalind1971 · 23/09/2025 18:29

Think he's had a lucky escape if you don't go, you are a weirdo

Frugalgal · 23/09/2025 18:13

RachelTopliss · 22/09/2025 20:16

Would you find this odd? It sounds like it's come from the 70s. What's a meal anyway? It sounds creepy. Lunch or dinner maybe yes but a meal?

I said I was busy.

You don't know what a meal is?? 🤔

You're the odd one in this scenario.

Poppyfun1 · 23/09/2025 18:11

I find you odd

Plastictreees · 23/09/2025 16:11

bumbaloo · 23/09/2025 16:08

It’s not indecision. It’s leaving space for the OP to say ‘lunch would be nice’ or ‘I love to go for dinner’

Show quote history

I’d rather someone just suggested going out for lunch or dinner, or a specific restaurant, rather than use the word ‘meal’ 🤣 I wouldn’t like ‘shall we go out for food’ either as it sounds entirely unromantic, as if the entire purpose of meeting is to consume said meal rather than get to know each other. It’s a good job my husband never invited me out for a meal 🤣

bumbaloo · 23/09/2025 16:11

RachelTopliss · 23/09/2025 13:51

For a bit of context, this is a man I've chatted with at the sports centre. It seems a bit full on to say this to me as we've only said hello, had a nice weekend sort of thing. He's nice but a bit quaint.

I genuinely am busy on Saturday all day I wasn't fobbing him off. I might suggest meeting for a coffee in the day instead. A "meal" seems a bit much, but I guess he could have meant fish and chips for all I know.

He’s shooting his shot. Christ. One person said it was too indecisive. You are saying it’s too forward 🫤

bumbaloo · 23/09/2025 16:09

whatasillygoose · 22/09/2025 21:02

Yeah I agree too but also can’t really verbalise why.

Would you like to go for dinner/lunch/a meal? Fine.

Take you out for… Sounds a bit eurgh to me. I don’t need to be ‘taken out’ or treated.

Show quote history

It’s not the ‘take you out’ that bothered the OP though. She said it was the word ‘meal’ and the same question but with ‘lunch’ or ‘dinner’ would have been fine.

bumbaloo · 23/09/2025 16:08

Trafficwardentina · 22/09/2025 21:04

I’m with you here OP. Winds me up. Not sure why, probably the implicit indecision. I’d say it’s easily as bad as ‘picky bits’ which is also atrocious.

I’m prepared to be called out as odd.

Show quote history

It’s not indecision. It’s leaving space for the OP to say ‘lunch would be nice’ or ‘I love to go for dinner’