Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Can I take you out for a meal"?

318 replies

RachelTopliss · 22/09/2025 20:16

Would you find this odd? It sounds like it's come from the 70s. What's a meal anyway? It sounds creepy. Lunch or dinner maybe yes but a meal?

I said I was busy.

OP posts:
Abracadabra12345 · 22/09/2025 21:50

123dontcomeatme · 22/09/2025 21:15

I dont think it's a normal word. Ive not heard anyone say that since about 1985. People say ' go out for dinner/ supper '

Maybe it's a north/ south thing?

Well I’m in the south and we often talk about going out for a meal. Maybe we’re peasants though

Mistyglade · 22/09/2025 21:50

I bet he was nervous using formal language like that as well.

Hankunamatata · 22/09/2025 21:47

Seems fine to say meal. The person saying meal then puts the ball in your court to choose - brunch, dinner, lunch etc

PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 22/09/2025 21:45

"Going out for a meal" and "picky bits" are all very normal phrases round here. Are you from the south east by any chance OP?

Mistyglade · 22/09/2025 21:44

I’d be delighted at their rather novel these days old fashioned manners.

Mydadsbirthday · 22/09/2025 21:41

I accept it's a normal thing to say but I'm with the OP. I can't bear the word "meal". It makes me feel sick.

dollyblue01 · 22/09/2025 21:40

How old is he who’s asking ?

pizzaHeart · 22/09/2025 21:39

Arlanymor · 22/09/2025 20:21

Totally normal - it means EITHER lunch or dinner, and it suggests that they are offering to treat you... although that should always be clarified ahead of time as sometimes people don't seem to think that phrases mean the same thing. A bit like 'next Friday' versus 'this Friday'. I would think it was a perfectly nice request and if you don't, then you don't have to accept, as indeed you didn't. Non issue.

This ^
and maybe he meant that brunch was a possibility either.

Gagaandgag · 22/09/2025 21:38

What would you prefer they say instead?

GreenFlag · 22/09/2025 21:36

Sounds like they dodged a bullet

MyElatedUmberFinch · 22/09/2025 21:35

Fluffyowl00 · 22/09/2025 21:32

Yeah. Much better to wait for a guy who asks you over to just to play Xbox.

He’s plucked up the courage to ask you out and you’ve looked at him like he’s shat in your mouth.

A gentle let down would do.

Or wait for a guy to suggest going for a walk as a date, that’s much more modern and less uncleish.

Overtheatlantic · 22/09/2025 21:34

I got asked once if I wanted to “share a meal” as in have dinner together. I’m considerably older than the OP and I was massively put off.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 22/09/2025 21:33

'May I' etc would sound a bit better but apart from that?

Nothing wrong with it.

Fluffyowl00 · 22/09/2025 21:32

Yeah. Much better to wait for a guy who asks you over to just to play Xbox.

He’s plucked up the courage to ask you out and you’ve looked at him like he’s shat in your mouth.

A gentle let down would do.

BunnyLake · 22/09/2025 21:29

I loathe the word meal but it wouldn’t put me off if I liked someone. If he seems genuinely decent I might even see it as quaintly old fashioned in a nice way.

aWeeCornishPastie · 22/09/2025 21:29

What @PegDopesaid. Poor guy

gannett · 22/09/2025 21:27

whatasillygoose · 22/09/2025 21:02

Yeah I agree too but also can’t really verbalise why.

Would you like to go for dinner/lunch/a meal? Fine.

Take you out for… Sounds a bit eurgh to me. I don’t need to be ‘taken out’ or treated.

Show quote history

If you're going to have a reaction of visceral disgust to perfectly normal words that don't actually indicate anything amiss with someone's character, you should at least be articulate enough yourself to explain why. "A bit eurgh" is less acceptable than "can I take you out".

Nobumsonthetable · 22/09/2025 21:26

Yeah I hate the word meal. You can invite me out for dinner but not for a meal. Bleugh.

cocoromo · 22/09/2025 21:26

WFHforevermore · 22/09/2025 20:55

The fact you find it creepy, makes you super creepy.....ekkkk, how does your mind work 😱

Agreed, how have we as a society come to this.

Plastictreees · 22/09/2025 21:24

RachelTopliss · 22/09/2025 21:20

This is it I think. I can't explain why it put me off. It feels like my uncle Fred saying it. I'm 36 for those asking.

Show quote history

I’m the same age. Definitely an ick. I remember one of my friends was asked out ‘for a meal’ a few years ago, the same guy then went on to say that he felt ‘as big as a house’ after having ate some pancakes. There was something so old fashioned and off putting about it 🤣 very uncle-esque.

123dontcomeatme · 22/09/2025 21:23

Its dated.
If you run it through chat gbt it reviews it as dated language. Awkward and stiff.

Thats why it feels off, because it's out of step with the here and now where conversation tends to be more fluid and relaxed.

Its not you op.

rainbowunicorn · 22/09/2025 21:20

I actually despair. How the fuck have we got to the point where a man asking a woman out for a meal is seen as weird, creepy, giving the ick.
Poor guy sounds like he's had a lucky escape.

AliTheMinx · 22/09/2025 21:20

Are you mad?.I'd love that. Good old fashioned chivalry.

Original poster
RachelTopliss · 22/09/2025 21:20

whatasillygoose · 22/09/2025 21:02

Yeah I agree too but also can’t really verbalise why.

Would you like to go for dinner/lunch/a meal? Fine.

Take you out for… Sounds a bit eurgh to me. I don’t need to be ‘taken out’ or treated.

Show quote history

This is it I think. I can't explain why it put me off. It feels like my uncle Fred saying it. I'm 36 for those asking.

OP posts:
seenabeena · 22/09/2025 21:19

Up North lunch is dinner & dinner is tea 🙂