Page 4 | Tried three places for lunch today and none cater for women

Tartantotty · 23/09/2025 22:54

Sorry, but what a ridiculous, incomprehensible post!

Have to have a penis to get into a restaurant or its toilet - never heard such poppycock!

Horsie · 23/09/2025 22:54

When I read the initial message, I thought OP meant that she couldn't find any female toilets AND she lived with a disability. 😂

But once the analogy was explained, I found it useful. Sorry you had to try three places, OP. That sounds very hard and frustrating.

In my town, actually, MANY of the restaurants have toilets in the basements, down lots of winding stairs. It's often occurred to me that no one would hear you scream down there. And most don't have a ground-floor accessible loo for people living with disabilities. Your post has really made me think about that.

At a pub lunch today, the loos were so unbelievably tiny that I could hardly fit myself in, never mind a wheelchair. I just looked on their site and they don't have an accessible loo.

Wow. I had never really thought about this before, but now I realise that my town is complete rubbish for accessible loos. 😢

KilkennyCats · 23/09/2025 22:54

MaidOfSteel · 23/09/2025 22:48

How lovely it is be told that the very real issues that disabled people experience every day aren’t issues at all….

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Who has told you this, can you point it out?

MoonWoman69 · 23/09/2025 22:51

It would have been simpler to just not try and be clever and write what you actually meant! I think we'd have all understood that much better!
Sadly smaller establishments don't cater for the disabled.

Change2banon · 23/09/2025 22:48

Wtaf? Why can’t you just post as you mean instead of talking in bloody riddles 🙄🙄 Maybe then, instead of 17 pages of misunderstanding/confusion/exasperation, you might actually have received more solidarity and help 🤷‍♀️

MaidOfSteel · 23/09/2025 22:48

ToKittyornottoKitty · 22/09/2025 20:39

Why are we specifically having a go at women here? It’s a stupid analogy. And lots of people have to plan ahead when eating out for all sorts of reasons, it’s not that ridiculous

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How lovely it is be told that the very real issues that disabled people experience every day aren’t issues at all….

CactusSammy · 23/09/2025 22:47

Isinglass20 · 23/09/2025 21:10

I wondered why it was that the OP had not got to know over the years which venues were wheelchair accessible before inviting her friend to eat out.

Newer and cheaper places like McDs generally are disability accessible as are up market venues. .

So OP wanted to go somewhere more specialist.

So if I wanted to take a friend I would have checked out venues before issuing an invitation in order to avoid embarrassing the friend who must have ended up feeling really hungry and fed up.

It strikes me that the OP was wanting someone with her in order to make a point at the venues she visited as she did on MN with the rather mystifying analogy.

Maybe the op hasn't always been disabled.

I was diagnosed coeliac at age 50, and it's suddenly a bloody nightmare if I want to go out to eat.

sosorryimnotsorry · 23/09/2025 22:43

SpidersAreShitheads · 23/09/2025 22:30

Are you able to share any examples please? It would be really helpful to know what kinds of things that might be possible.

I have a DM with cerebral palsy and disabled DC.

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Not something we were involved in but this is the type of thing that can be done when there is the will

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/kp0sfgGP8PE?si=8bxd4wGAP8Ep1iu-

Himan · 23/09/2025 22:35

You are off your head

butterpuffed · 23/09/2025 22:34

Some people like to play games, and some like to be mysterious . The long gone OP tried both, and all it did, was to spread confusion . OP should have just said what the problem actually was.

SpidersAreShitheads · 23/09/2025 22:30

sosorryimnotsorry · 23/09/2025 21:13

I am not an architect no but as part of my role I do work alongside them along with engineers and other innovators who work in this area yes.
I have seen some truly incredible solutions for access. Including some that have cost much less than you might think.

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Are you able to share any examples please? It would be really helpful to know what kinds of things that might be possible.

I have a DM with cerebral palsy and disabled DC.

AlleycatMarie · 23/09/2025 22:29

I can’t believe so many people didn’t get OP’s point! I’m sorry you experience this@Mrsmunchofmunchington this is not right at all and disappointing how inaccessible many places still are 😟

AlinaRawlings · 23/09/2025 22:20

Mrsmunchofmunchington · 22/09/2025 20:10

I went out for lunch today with a friend.
Well, at least we tried to have lunch.
All three places, two pubs and one cafe, were not suitable for women because you needed a penis to get into them or to use the toilet.
We ended up coming back to my home instead.

AIBU to think that everywhere should offer equal service to women?
Or is it my fault for not checking in advance that I could eat there without a penis?
Should I have researched on tripadvisor?
Am I too entitled expecting businesses to ensure non penis having people can pay to eat lunch at their establishment?

Day in the life of a disabled person.

Are you drunk?

Horses7 · 23/09/2025 22:01

I got it eventually OP - you make a good point.

MerryLilac · 23/09/2025 21:53

I've not read all the comments but I just wanted to say in case no one else has, I understood your post!

EatingSleeping · 23/09/2025 21:47

KilkennyCats · 22/09/2025 21:38

But it’s a stupid analogy because so many old buildings can’t be adapted for wheelchair access at all, and others without massive funding which simply isn’t available.
It’s not as simple as refusing entry based on favouritism.

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Lots of places can be adapted, it's just that people choose not to. Or to make disabled people feel uncomfortable or like they are in the way if they need assistance. Other people simply don't think about the range of accessibility requirements. They dont always require extensive finding but they do require a commitment to understand rather than blanket decide it's all a bit hard so we won't bother ...

HevenlyMeS · 23/09/2025 21:44

I'm immensely confused how this could happen too🤔

ForJollyLemonZebra · 23/09/2025 21:41

What you on about.. 3 places don't let women in ????

sosorryimnotsorry · 23/09/2025 21:39

TallulahLikesHoola · 23/09/2025 21:26

Why aren't you sharing them then? What's stopping you from changing things? If you work alongside them and the engineers in planning/construction what is stopping the changes?

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There is no magic one solution fits all! But there are lots of things that can be done. And in my line of work we absolutely do share them. Far and wide!
As for what’s stopping them? ignorance, cost cutting and lack of will mainly.

TallulahLikesHoola · 23/09/2025 21:26

sosorryimnotsorry · 23/09/2025 21:13

I am not an architect no but as part of my role I do work alongside them along with engineers and other innovators who work in this area yes.
I have seen some truly incredible solutions for access. Including some that have cost much less than you might think.

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Why aren't you sharing them then? What's stopping you from changing things? If you work alongside them and the engineers in planning/construction what is stopping the changes?

justasking111 · 23/09/2025 21:26

I always research before we go. I wouldn't presume in advance. I can't manage steps at the moment waiting for new hips. I also look at the menu.

I thought everyone did. 🤷‍♂️

sosorryimnotsorry · 23/09/2025 21:13

TallulahLikesHoola · 23/09/2025 20:18

Are you an architect who has experience and knowledge of adaptations for listed buildings?
You could make an absolute fortune for all the advice you can give about the 'plenty things' that can be done. I'm sure you could do so even just from the businesses in Edinburgh Old Town!

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I am not an architect no but as part of my role I do work alongside them along with engineers and other innovators who work in this area yes.
I have seen some truly incredible solutions for access. Including some that have cost much less than you might think.

Widower2014 · 23/09/2025 21:10

MyAcornWood · 22/09/2025 20:11

You what? I feel like I’m missing something 😅

Apparently, a penis

Isinglass20 · 23/09/2025 21:10

I wondered why it was that the OP had not got to know over the years which venues were wheelchair accessible before inviting her friend to eat out.

Newer and cheaper places like McDs generally are disability accessible as are up market venues. .

So OP wanted to go somewhere more specialist.

So if I wanted to take a friend I would have checked out venues before issuing an invitation in order to avoid embarrassing the friend who must have ended up feeling really hungry and fed up.

It strikes me that the OP was wanting someone with her in order to make a point at the venues she visited as she did on MN with the rather mystifying analogy.

CoffeeLipstickKeys · 23/09/2025 21:07

Macarena1980 · 23/09/2025 21:03

It’s you who needs to try harder not the OP, you’ve completely missed the point.

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No. Given multiple posters have all commented the op was badly written
On this occasion op inadvertently wrote a nonsensical post,and a fair few have commented on that