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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No payment for her 3 naans

294 replies

TheAquaCrab · 22/09/2025 19:41

We all got a curry, to cut a long story short(er).

4 friends in total, including me. Person who hasn’t paid is new to group. All happened last week.

I paid for the takeaway and said it’s fine, just everyone transfer me the money tomorrow when they get a chance.

We were going to share but this particular friend wanted her own. All fine. We still agreed to all go 4 ways, despite her not getting anything to share out, and ordering 3 naans!

Today is Monday and the meal took place last Friday. Still no payment. I reminded her on Saturday and she said she was so sorry, send bank details and she’d send it. So I did.

Still nothing. I messaged again this evening and she left me on read. Messaged friend whose friend she originally was… who said she’s now on holiday! I don’t even remember her mentioning that

We are suppose to be going for an 80s night next month. AIBU not to go if she goes? Told other friend and she said she probably just keeps forgetting

I wouldn’t mind but she asked to take the left over coke bottle and the last of the butter chicken. We all said yes because we were stuffed

Cheeky woman has an amazing figure to boot, so maybe I’m just jealous!

OP posts:
Bubbles332 · 22/09/2025 21:09

3 naans? That’s insane.

OnTheBoardwalk · 22/09/2025 21:06

TheAquaCrab · 22/09/2025 21:02

Total was roughly £28 for hers alone

What was the total split between you all?

I don’t share food. I wouldn’t rake leftovers though

shhblackbag · 22/09/2025 21:04

TheAquaCrab · 22/09/2025 21:02

Total was roughly £28 for hers alone

I'd want that back. I thought it was much less. Ask her again in a few days.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 22/09/2025 21:03

Definitely still go to your 80s night and bring it up there if she still hasn’t paid. I see your 3 Naans and raise you a £90 concert ticket that I was completely ghosted for after asking for the money.

Original poster
TheAquaCrab · 22/09/2025 21:02

Total was roughly £28 for hers alone

OP posts:
Lostworlds · 22/09/2025 21:01

I wouldn’t use this to stop going to an event next month, if you want to go to it then I would still go.

I would message this person again in a few days time and say you didn’t realise she was on holiday but you’d appreciate the money to be transferred and just keep at her.

I would also make sure I wouldn’t be offering to cover the costs next time.

moresoup · 22/09/2025 20:58

Just go out next time and she can buy your drinks

But in future each just pay your own share at the restaurant

shhblackbag · 22/09/2025 20:58

How much money is this? She's cheeky, yeah, but I definitely wouldn't miss an event you would otherwise enjoy.

And never pay for her again, of course.

BeardOToots · 22/09/2025 20:53

2025ishere · 22/09/2025 19:49

I don’t know if you’re unreasonable or not but it’s a great thread title. although first read it as 3 nans…my inner Northerner slipping out

One must be a step-naan.

Littlemisscapable · 22/09/2025 20:51

Hankunamatata · 22/09/2025 19:54

Just keep asking her for the money

You dont need to avoid her

This. No need to be polite or self deprecating she is really really rude. No excuse.

GoodTimesNoodleSalad · 22/09/2025 20:49

ComfortablySeated · 22/09/2025 20:46

Three naan, Jeremy? Three? That’s insane.

Oh you just beat me to it! 😂

ComfortablySeated · 22/09/2025 20:46

Three naan, Jeremy? Three? That’s insane.

Blondeshavemorefun · 22/09/2025 20:46

How much are we talking ?

for the 3 naans or a curry as well

ConnieHeart · 22/09/2025 20:42

GimmieABreakOr3 · 22/09/2025 20:31

There are people dying of starvation in Gaza, but oh no, Stacey didn’t pay for her 3 “nan” breads. Jesus wept.

So nobody is never allowed to ask advice about a problem in their day to day life, ever, because somebody else is suffering a much worse fate?

TwelvePercent · 22/09/2025 20:35

GimmieABreakOr3 · 22/09/2025 20:31

There are people dying of starvation in Gaza, but oh no, Stacey didn’t pay for her 3 “nan” breads. Jesus wept.

3 Naan girl has entered the chat.

GimmieABreakOr3 · 22/09/2025 20:31

There are people dying of starvation in Gaza, but oh no, Stacey didn’t pay for her 3 “nan” breads. Jesus wept.

GimmieABreakOr3 · 22/09/2025 20:26

SprayWhiteDung · 22/09/2025 20:17

It's not an invoice from a supplier for goods or services rendered by way of a business agreement, though; it's money that has already been paid by an individual on her behalf.

Show quote history

Sorry… whut?

it’s been 3 days… I would chill. She should’ve sent it ofc but I’m sure it’s not that much money? Life is short.

SprayWhiteDung · 22/09/2025 20:23

I'm absolutely not saying that she will do this at all; but a lot of CFs in these circumstances might deliberately try something like a meal out as an 'opener', to see if you let them get away with it... and if you do, then they work up to stories of personal financial troubles - always 'temporary' of course, and not their fault - and asking to 'borrow' a considerable sum for a supposedly very short time...

ConnieHeart · 22/09/2025 20:18

JDM625 · 22/09/2025 20:09

Is there anyway that she thought the friend that invited her along would be paying for her?

Personally, I hate this sort of thing and would ask people to bring cash along in future- rather than having to provide bank details and keep checking who has and hasn't paid.

Maybe she is on holidays, but surely she has internet and bank access abroad too? I call CF!

You should go to the 80's night. Why shouldn't you?

There's no way she would think that as she said she would pay op

SprayWhiteDung · 22/09/2025 20:17

GimmieABreakOr3 · 22/09/2025 20:12

So it’s only been 3 days?

It's not an invoice from a supplier for goods or services rendered by way of a business agreement, though; it's money that has already been paid by an individual on her behalf.

MeganM3 · 22/09/2025 20:17

How much money are we talking? Ask her again in the group with the exact amount and your bank details.
If she still doesn’t pay I wouldn’t chase again. I’d write the £25 or whatever off and learn from the mistake that she’s cheeky f. No need to miss out on your night out, she’s the one who should be awkward about it - not you! But also no point getting too pissed off.

SprayWhiteDung · 22/09/2025 20:15

She hasn't even just scored a free meal out of you - she's deliberately got you to pay for two meals for her! Arguably three meals, actually, as she didn't want to share her food, but was very happy to claim the rest of theirs.

Don't misunderstand me: we in our household are massive fans of deliberately over-ordering on the takeaway so that there's plenty left for a bonus meal the following evening; but we certainly don't expect anybody else to pay for it!

GimmieABreakOr3 · 22/09/2025 20:12

So it’s only been 3 days?

jumpyjubba · 22/09/2025 20:10

Imagine your poop after eating 3 naans…

roseymoira · 22/09/2025 20:09

Go to the 80’s night. Message her before saying looks like she’s having issues with her online banking, so she can just bring cash for you on the night

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