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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think criminals are very common?

237 replies

ChicJoker · 22/09/2025 17:35

I see lots of threads on here claiming moral high ground and pearl clutching for example about people not correcting large company’s on a billing mistake. All very tsk tsk tsk “that’s stealing” etc.

it got me thinking, I’m sure it’s dependent on your region but I don’t believe there’s a single person where I’m from that doesn’t either know or have a relation to a criminal in some way. If mums net was a true representation of the public, surely criminals would be shunned from communities and the holier than thou would reign free.

where I’m from, everybody, and I do mean everybody - either knows someone directly or are themselves involved in illegal activity in some way. Even if it was historically. It’s astoundingly common. Anyone who claims otherwise is either lying or incredibly naive.

what are your thoughts? How do the whiter than white cope in life? FWIW there’s absolutely not a chance on this earth I’d correct for example Tesco on sending me a free online shop by mistake. I’d actually find it more morally inferior TO correct them.

OP posts:
Redpeach · 22/09/2025 20:40

I thought drugs were rife in the country

Somersetbaker · 22/09/2025 20:37

MasterBeth · 22/09/2025 19:49

I mean, pretty obviously this depends on your social circle, life chances, background etc.

No, I don't know any professional drug dealers.

In the sense that they've never tried to sell drugs to you possibly. In my working life I knew of many people who used "recreational pharmaceuticals", I suspect that some of them were also dealers. They don't waste time on people who don't want the product or might shop them,

NetballHoop · 22/09/2025 20:33

I only know one person who has been convicted of a crime. An ex colleague who was found guilty of some minor drugs offence years ago.

I don't think I could name anyone who hasn't broken the law on occasion.

Midnights68 · 22/09/2025 20:26

As far as I know I don’t know anyone with a criminal record.

But I do live in a leafy area and also work in a profession where you can’t have any serious criminal convictions so I’d accept that my sample is probably not representative.

I actually had no idea that the proportion of the population with a criminal record was so high. I remember reading a while back that a very small proportion of the population is responsible for a huge proportion of the crime.

GarlicPint · 22/09/2025 20:26

MasterBeth · 22/09/2025 20:08

You knew everyone in the city?? And their connection to the drugs trade?

Everyone?

Everyone knows someone who uses recreational drugs. Might be a bit of weed for their stress, a line of coke once in a blue moon, a little social something for the young, but they all get it from somebody. That somebody is a dealer, who has a supplier, who has a distribution network.

This gives you six degrees of separation from a big-time trafficker. And it's reproduced with each different kind of user/substance.

If you think you don't know anyone in the UK who uses, you either don't know anybody or they're carefully not mentioning it around you.

gudetamathelazyegg · 22/09/2025 20:13

My cousin is a drug dealer, my dad used to help people rob department stores and generally helped move stolen goods, he committed insurance fraud at least a few times that I know of and was convicted of elder neglect. Where I grew up the drug dealing cousin is standard - I think most people I grew up with would say they had a dealer somewhere in their family (and my cousin has never been arrested, never mind convicted).

My DH grew up what I considered posh (just Southern really but to me feels posh), one of his uncles was a bank robber and another one worked for the Met Grin

I do think MN is another world, particularly stuff like stolen and counterfeit goods. To be fair as an adult I don't know any criminals!

TY78910 · 22/09/2025 20:08

Interesting. I know that technically if you commit a crime, you are a criminal. However in my head a criminal is someone who either continually breaks the law (eg shoplifts often), or someone who has committed a serious offence (murder etc). If someone forgot to scan their bananas at scan and go, realised by the tills and went ‘ah never mind’, does that mean they’re a criminal? 🤣

In that sense I do think everyone, well maybe most, are criminals - if the threshold is so low. I mean, my kid at 1.5 yo picked up a toothbrush in the shops before and I only noticed outside. I didn’t go back to pay for it. Am I a criminal? Is he? For life?!

MasterBeth · 22/09/2025 20:08

You knew everyone in the city?? And their connection to the drugs trade?

Everyone?

grumpygrape · 22/09/2025 20:06

TheCurious0range · 22/09/2025 19:41

The key phrase here is, as far as I'm aware.
You'd be surprised.

The other key is where I've worked and met criminals.

I am not naive; very worldly wise.

ChicJoker · 22/09/2025 20:01

MasterBeth · 22/09/2025 19:59

I mean, that's nonsense.

100% of any city's population are not involved in drugs, even if 100% of the people you mixed with were.

I assure you they are. Whether it be directly, they’re related to somebody who is directly involved, or they just know of somebody. I know this for sure.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 22/09/2025 20:00

I’ve done loads of crime, shoplifting as a kid, graffiti, stealing from an employer (alcohol), loads of driving offences. I signed my ex up to swinging sites, that would be done under the new malicious communications act now I think.

obviously not been caught for any of it. I try hard not to break the law now but it still happens.

MasterBeth · 22/09/2025 19:59

ChicJoker · 22/09/2025 19:57

lol. I don’t live in a dodgy area I live rurally so unless you class my land as dodgy and animals as criminals?

however the city I grew up in yes absolutely 100% of people are related to drugs in one way or another.

I mean, that's nonsense.

100% of any city's population are not involved in drugs, even if 100% of the people you mixed with were.

ChicJoker · 22/09/2025 19:57

lol. I don’t live in a dodgy area I live rurally so unless you class my land as dodgy and animals as criminals?

however the city I grew up in yes absolutely 100% of people are related to drugs in one way or another.

OP posts:
saphiregemstone · 22/09/2025 19:53

I do think it will be somewhat location dependent though. There will be zones where a really highly proportion of the men will have got a record and other areas where it’s low.
I find it hard to believe that one in 5 men living in rural villages and towns have a record , but it could easily be the vast majority in some inner city areas.

I live in a village and we know everything about everyone, going back generations. There’s no way people are getting criminal records round here without it coming to light!

MasterBeth · 22/09/2025 19:49

ChicJoker · 22/09/2025 18:55

Gosh, I didn’t even consider actual convictions!

i was thinking more along the lines of dealers who have done nothing but that their whole lives and roam free.

I mean, pretty obviously this depends on your social circle, life chances, background etc.

No, I don't know any professional drug dealers.

TheCurious0range · 22/09/2025 19:41

grumpygrape · 22/09/2025 18:40

Speaking from the whiter than white, moral high ground I can assure you, as far as I’m aware I have only ever met one person in my private/social life who has been convicted of a crime. Even he is in another country and I’ve only met him once and I met him before the event, and no I would not meet him again if the opportunity arose. I have lived in the South East of England, rural East Anglia and now Yorkshire and apart from that one person above the only criminals I’ve met have been, due to work, in Court or Prison, not my private/social life.

I don’t believe I’m either lying or incredibly naïve, unless you count a few parking or other minor traffic infringements as criminal. I have not committed any crimes (or traffic infringements).

I have been saddened by some of the views in the recent Tesco thread; not surprised about them but saddened by the quantity and apparent ratio of them.

OP, it seems obvious you and I will not have a meeting of minds regarding morality but I will watch this thread with interest.

Oh, you asked how we whiter than whites cope in life. Well, in my experience, we just get on with it, obey laws and deal honestly. I also manage to get through life without pearls to clutch 😊 If that sounds prissy or holier than thou – tough.

The key phrase here is, as far as I'm aware.
You'd be surprised.

GarlicPint · 22/09/2025 19:38

ShesTheAlbatross · 22/09/2025 19:01

25% of men have a criminal record??? Is that right? I don’t know anyone with a criminal record that I know about. I appreciate that a lot of people would keep it quiet, but are a quarter of the men I know keeping it so quiet I don’t even hear a rumour?

Here's my rather long Google search, very informative 🙂 I've looked up many of the linked sources because this data is very fragmented. All of them emphasised that a criminal record includes things like cautions and minor offences committed long ago.

Finding the correct number for actual convictions is even trickier. However, it does seem to be between 20% and 28% so, at best, you're looking at one in five (including very old convictions). And the vast majority are men, meaning the proportion of males is well above one in five.

Before you continue to Google Search

https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=41019ffbed8a8b36&sxsrf=AE3TifM7O7zVTCS5Wwa28M9xlrkA98s0rw%3A1758565435058&q=How+many+people+have+a+criminal+record+UK&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj4vtbZ_-yPAxViU0EAHeNDPR4Q0NsOegUI5QEQAA&biw=1858&bih=959&dpr=1&udm=50&fbs=AIIjpHxU7SXXniUZfeShr2fp4giZrjP_Cx0LI1Ytb_FGcOviEiTm5uW1q0uNfK7KsnoL8hWZUZ3ZEPhe0cPqXxrOlmBaad34woKJNiGkBSL0P6sez-_Ta5HoxDoDiNwE46A3ZYVFRlAaIQtkbfIlECAMYnr6ix96gUlUGV2_UQ8BRCIrvEwITCkCEzEC-WixWjsfVdKGs-ODGImstes9K2V_8S1qbqGtyA&aep=10&ntc=1&mtid=nJXRaN-xI-aOhbIPtZWJIQ&mstk=AUtExfC_RtoZGO9crFaKEGiy01ZfmEpUknN1DuEh1V7f_iQFOBZduM1NFeMdv4_GYk0NzG_5lumJ9IlJYLZwT0TboU9gsm--ykfXmoFkGpKJ6rDSYwdb935SR_kRQtmVpRrk9QOv_IWaWYuQZvr9YMs37Ns60Vs2GpwC_i_AmsPVm37r0QxHgzgiVJ9bEGt1JN8Ph15AMCk9MMW-2Rgp7FtrCZIAlpQh4gw3ldRJoR-WvOL4SPawZGn7m7Ye1mjx1dXSiyYchrM66hsd4PjEkTyWQUNP2qcHSYNSvWcY6m6IO_zNApcJwLar-2my86TA9jCBP7wjIdjAc-x-rA&csuir=1

QueenOfTheDarkAges · 22/09/2025 19:33

I think you're right OP. I think if people factor in people they know who take drugs then yes, pretty much every poster here will know a criminal because that's how widespread it is, even if the users have never been caught, let alone prosecuted.

I remember a thread here a while ago where someone was concerned that their kid's primary school teachers had been out taking cocaine at the weekend and the response was that it was none of her business and she was being totally unreasonable to be concerned about it - an illegal industry which causes untold misery all along the supply chain. And yet on the Tesco thread there are so many posters who are convinced that it's a terrible theft. I can't square it. To my mind drugs are much worse than accepting an accidental delivery from a huge supermarket company.

ShesTheAlbatross · 22/09/2025 19:01

25% of men have a criminal record??? Is that right? I don’t know anyone with a criminal record that I know about. I appreciate that a lot of people would keep it quiet, but are a quarter of the men I know keeping it so quiet I don’t even hear a rumour?

Nagaa · 22/09/2025 18:59

ChicJoker · 22/09/2025 17:35

I see lots of threads on here claiming moral high ground and pearl clutching for example about people not correcting large company’s on a billing mistake. All very tsk tsk tsk “that’s stealing” etc.

it got me thinking, I’m sure it’s dependent on your region but I don’t believe there’s a single person where I’m from that doesn’t either know or have a relation to a criminal in some way. If mums net was a true representation of the public, surely criminals would be shunned from communities and the holier than thou would reign free.

where I’m from, everybody, and I do mean everybody - either knows someone directly or are themselves involved in illegal activity in some way. Even if it was historically. It’s astoundingly common. Anyone who claims otherwise is either lying or incredibly naive.

what are your thoughts? How do the whiter than white cope in life? FWIW there’s absolutely not a chance on this earth I’d correct for example Tesco on sending me a free online shop by mistake. I’d actually find it more morally inferior TO correct them.

You probably live in a dodgy area. I can only think of one person who has committed a crime but it's my mum's friends son who I have never met, so hardly a close link.

Montereyjaaack · 22/09/2025 18:58

Are you living in the USA OP?

mumofoneAloneandwell · 22/09/2025 18:57

I agree, criminals are everywhere

DelilahBucket · 22/09/2025 18:57

Given the types of people I've caught stealing from my shop I would say you're not far off the truth OP. I imagine that the friends and family of these thieves would never in a million years believe it. Not one of them looks like they are going around helping themselves to small businesses stock 🤬

ChicJoker · 22/09/2025 18:55

Gosh, I didn’t even consider actual convictions!

i was thinking more along the lines of dealers who have done nothing but that their whole lives and roam free.

OP posts:
Shr3dding · 22/09/2025 18:54

Obviously depends on your family and social circle but I don't have any criminal relatives or friends