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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think criminals are very common?

237 replies

ChicJoker · 22/09/2025 17:35

I see lots of threads on here claiming moral high ground and pearl clutching for example about people not correcting large company’s on a billing mistake. All very tsk tsk tsk “that’s stealing” etc.

it got me thinking, I’m sure it’s dependent on your region but I don’t believe there’s a single person where I’m from that doesn’t either know or have a relation to a criminal in some way. If mums net was a true representation of the public, surely criminals would be shunned from communities and the holier than thou would reign free.

where I’m from, everybody, and I do mean everybody - either knows someone directly or are themselves involved in illegal activity in some way. Even if it was historically. It’s astoundingly common. Anyone who claims otherwise is either lying or incredibly naive.

what are your thoughts? How do the whiter than white cope in life? FWIW there’s absolutely not a chance on this earth I’d correct for example Tesco on sending me a free online shop by mistake. I’d actually find it more morally inferior TO correct them.

OP posts:
LoftyRobin · 24/09/2025 07:48

Rumbletumbley · 24/09/2025 07:47

And again… what do you mean by that? Half the population experiences deprivation ?

Half of the population experiences at least one area of deprivation. Ive provided an ONS link and you could just Google it and find out if you dont know what it means.

Rumbletumbley · 24/09/2025 07:47

LoftyRobin · 24/09/2025 07:35

They experience deprivation.

And again… what do you mean by that? Half the population experiences deprivation ?

LoftyRobin · 24/09/2025 07:37

Rumbletumbley · 24/09/2025 05:58

What does that even mean?

It means that most people are deprived in at least one of the areas that they measure for deprivation, like education.

LoftyRobin · 24/09/2025 07:36

Rumbletumbley · 24/09/2025 05:57

Don’t be daft. Most of the UK isn’t deprived.

Yes most of the UK experience at least one area of deprivation.

LoftyRobin · 24/09/2025 07:35

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/09/2025 23:02

You but you also said 1/2 the population live in deprived areas. When in fact half the population have one measure of deprivation. This doesn’t mean they all live in deprived areas.

A deprived area is generally related to poverty. And half the population don’t live in them.

They experience deprivation.

Bambamhoohoo · 24/09/2025 06:35

GarlicPint · 24/09/2025 01:10

Yeah, the PP said they've since been diagnosed with autism. This has increasingly become the police's problem, due to diminished mental health resources. Various police districts have temporarily refused to handle MH crises - only to be vilified for 'not caring' when all they're empowered to do is restrain the person and bung them in a cell while waiting for a doctor to arrive 😢 It's unfair on the officers and cruel to everyone else involved.

This hopeless lack of MH structure isn't unique to the UK. Two of my friends are permanently barred from the USA because aggressive immigration officers triggered autistic meltdowns. Yes, my friends broke multiple laws - they resisted arrest (because they hadn't done anything wrong so, in their minds, should not have been under arrest); they lashed out (because they were frightened); they failed to answer questions (because they were crying and unable to speak). One of these people was a frail, anorexic teenager.

The UK police are actually better than most at differentiating MH issues from criminal intent. But they aren't qualified to diagnose: their job is to stop people doing criminal things, not to understand why they're doing them. It's a shitshow - the more 'care in the community' fails to care, the more outfall lands on the police who are already stretched.

On top of that, how do you define 'criminal' and 'mentally inflicted'? It could be argued that anyone ignoring social norms & values is mentally unhealthy. That's a philosophical maze I wouldn't want to be responsible for navigating.

--- In much smaller news, I did a tiny crime this evening 😂 On my way out, I noticed the hem tag was still dangling off my dress. So I pulled it out and let it drop. Shame on me but, if you found a Nobody's Child tag lying on a pavement tonight, you know who to blame!

the police will always be the ones who have to section in a public place so will inevitably be involved in MH crisis’ and its not uncommon for people with paranoid delusions to end up detained at the police station with because the section escalates or the unwell person is violent.

I would hope the police only ever arrest as a last resort or for “known threats” but that’s not really reliable.

Rumbletumbley · 24/09/2025 05:58

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 20:29

More than half of the population experience at least one area of deprivation.

What does that even mean?

Rumbletumbley · 24/09/2025 05:57

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 19:38

Most of the country lives in areas that are deprived. Youre saying this like it is an insult that someone living in a deprived area should feel ashamed of. Reality is that many of the rich people living in nice areas do so because they have been and still are doing something illegal. Might be tax evasion, might be cocaine dealing, might be fraud. And those who do not? They use their legally earned money to buy drugs, use sex workers, and frequent places which exist to launder money.

Your ignorance is just that, ignorant.

Don’t be daft. Most of the UK isn’t deprived.

GarlicPint · 24/09/2025 01:10

Bambamhoohoo · 23/09/2025 16:14

It’s astonishing how often mental health issues escalate into this situation.

Imagine believing you need to fight for your life because you’re going to be killed and oh look, 5 police officers had to leap on you and put you in cuffs to get you in the ambulance- maybe you smacked one of them, or a paramedic whilst you fought for your life. It’s so sad and very frightening. And it could happen to any of us.

Yeah, the PP said they've since been diagnosed with autism. This has increasingly become the police's problem, due to diminished mental health resources. Various police districts have temporarily refused to handle MH crises - only to be vilified for 'not caring' when all they're empowered to do is restrain the person and bung them in a cell while waiting for a doctor to arrive 😢 It's unfair on the officers and cruel to everyone else involved.

This hopeless lack of MH structure isn't unique to the UK. Two of my friends are permanently barred from the USA because aggressive immigration officers triggered autistic meltdowns. Yes, my friends broke multiple laws - they resisted arrest (because they hadn't done anything wrong so, in their minds, should not have been under arrest); they lashed out (because they were frightened); they failed to answer questions (because they were crying and unable to speak). One of these people was a frail, anorexic teenager.

The UK police are actually better than most at differentiating MH issues from criminal intent. But they aren't qualified to diagnose: their job is to stop people doing criminal things, not to understand why they're doing them. It's a shitshow - the more 'care in the community' fails to care, the more outfall lands on the police who are already stretched.

On top of that, how do you define 'criminal' and 'mentally inflicted'? It could be argued that anyone ignoring social norms & values is mentally unhealthy. That's a philosophical maze I wouldn't want to be responsible for navigating.

--- In much smaller news, I did a tiny crime this evening 😂 On my way out, I noticed the hem tag was still dangling off my dress. So I pulled it out and let it drop. Shame on me but, if you found a Nobody's Child tag lying on a pavement tonight, you know who to blame!

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/09/2025 23:02

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 22:57

Oh they can indeed.

Some of the world's stupidest people have advanced educational qualifications

You but you also said 1/2 the population live in deprived areas. When in fact half the population have one measure of deprivation. This doesn’t mean they all live in deprived areas.

A deprived area is generally related to poverty. And half the population don’t live in them.

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 22:57

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/09/2025 21:41

I know. Weird right?

According to that poster ‘people can be educated beyond their intellect’Hmm

Doesn’t education increase intellect?

Oh they can indeed.

Some of the world's stupidest people have advanced educational qualifications

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 22:55

MellowMint · 23/09/2025 21:30

???

You can’t be serious. Living in a nice area does not mean someone got there by doing something illegal. To imply otherwise is an insult to every person who’s worked hard and built their success honestly. Yes - if someone truly wants to better themselves, they should absolutely stay away from criminals and drug dealers instead of making excuses for them, saying that most country is deprived…

Your response tells me exactly what type of person you are. Don’t bother responding to this.

I said two things about people in nice areas.

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 22:54

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/09/2025 20:51

So our household fits into 2 of those.

We live in a educated middle class area. I’m definitely not deprived in any way. I’m not sure that measure is a proper measure of deprived areas.

My ndn fit into two also. Now they are loaded, very highly educated. I’m not sure they are deprived.

The greatest trick the devil played was convincing the people he didn't exist. Something like that, anyway.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/09/2025 21:41

MellowMint · 23/09/2025 21:30

???

You can’t be serious. Living in a nice area does not mean someone got there by doing something illegal. To imply otherwise is an insult to every person who’s worked hard and built their success honestly. Yes - if someone truly wants to better themselves, they should absolutely stay away from criminals and drug dealers instead of making excuses for them, saying that most country is deprived…

Your response tells me exactly what type of person you are. Don’t bother responding to this.

I know. Weird right?

According to that poster ‘people can be educated beyond their intellect’Hmm

Doesn’t education increase intellect?

MellowMint · 23/09/2025 21:30

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 19:38

Most of the country lives in areas that are deprived. Youre saying this like it is an insult that someone living in a deprived area should feel ashamed of. Reality is that many of the rich people living in nice areas do so because they have been and still are doing something illegal. Might be tax evasion, might be cocaine dealing, might be fraud. And those who do not? They use their legally earned money to buy drugs, use sex workers, and frequent places which exist to launder money.

Your ignorance is just that, ignorant.

???

You can’t be serious. Living in a nice area does not mean someone got there by doing something illegal. To imply otherwise is an insult to every person who’s worked hard and built their success honestly. Yes - if someone truly wants to better themselves, they should absolutely stay away from criminals and drug dealers instead of making excuses for them, saying that most country is deprived…

Your response tells me exactly what type of person you are. Don’t bother responding to this.

TheSpiritofDarkandLonelyWater · 23/09/2025 21:04

Deliciouslyfree · 23/09/2025 15:36

. Now I have to have an appropriate adult with me if I end up in a police station

so yes, it sounds like your caution was indeed for something serious hence it having to be indefinitely disclosed

No I am entitled to an appropriate adult as I am classed as vulnerable.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/09/2025 20:53

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 20:40

They experience one area of deprivation, not poverty. There are many rich people now with very limited formal education. There are also many rich people who have been educated far outside their intellect.

https://ocsi.uk/2022/11/03/what-has-census-2021-revealed-about-levels-of-household-deprivation/

Its a bit damming saying people have been educated far outside their intellect? Who decided this? People can choose to educated as much as they want. Surely intellect grows with more education?

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/09/2025 20:51

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 20:40

They experience one area of deprivation, not poverty. There are many rich people now with very limited formal education. There are also many rich people who have been educated far outside their intellect.

https://ocsi.uk/2022/11/03/what-has-census-2021-revealed-about-levels-of-household-deprivation/

So our household fits into 2 of those.

We live in a educated middle class area. I’m definitely not deprived in any way. I’m not sure that measure is a proper measure of deprived areas.

My ndn fit into two also. Now they are loaded, very highly educated. I’m not sure they are deprived.

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 20:40

They experience one area of deprivation, not poverty. There are many rich people now with very limited formal education. There are also many rich people who have been educated far outside their intellect.

https://ocsi.uk/2022/11/03/what-has-census-2021-revealed-about-levels-of-household-deprivation/

Chaosclassic · 23/09/2025 20:36

Well your including drugs and not correcting billing mistakes in this so yes most people are criminals by your standards.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/09/2025 20:34

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 20:29

More than half of the population experience at least one area of deprivation.

Where is this information?

Experiencing one area of poverty doesn’t mean you live in a deprived area.

mathanxiety · 23/09/2025 20:33

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 20:29

More than half of the population experience at least one area of deprivation.

What do you mean by "experience "?

mathanxiety · 23/09/2025 20:32

Where exactly do you live, OP?

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 20:29

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/09/2025 20:24

The majority of England don’t live in deprived areas.

https://www.jrf.org.uk/uk-poverty-2025-the-essential-guide-to-understanding-poverty-in-the-uk

I live in a nice area. It’s not massively wealthy. No one seems to be dealing cocaine or fraudulent. Everyone seems pretty law abiding judging by the neighbourhood watch. No one with drug dealers as parents in the local schools. Lots who work in health service/education/local government though.

More than half of the population experience at least one area of deprivation.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/09/2025 20:24

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 19:38

Most of the country lives in areas that are deprived. Youre saying this like it is an insult that someone living in a deprived area should feel ashamed of. Reality is that many of the rich people living in nice areas do so because they have been and still are doing something illegal. Might be tax evasion, might be cocaine dealing, might be fraud. And those who do not? They use their legally earned money to buy drugs, use sex workers, and frequent places which exist to launder money.

Your ignorance is just that, ignorant.

The majority of England don’t live in deprived areas.

https://www.jrf.org.uk/uk-poverty-2025-the-essential-guide-to-understanding-poverty-in-the-uk

I live in a nice area. It’s not massively wealthy. No one seems to be dealing cocaine or fraudulent. Everyone seems pretty law abiding judging by the neighbourhood watch. No one with drug dealers as parents in the local schools. Lots who work in health service/education/local government though.

UK Poverty 2025: The essential guide to understanding poverty in the UK

This report sets out the nature of poverty in the UK in the run-up to 2024's General Election. It also sets out the scale of action necessary for the Government to deliver the change it has promised.

https://www.jrf.org.uk/uk-poverty-2025-the-essential-guide-to-understanding-poverty-in-the-uk