Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

“Big girl pants, OP”

37 replies

Realhousewive · 22/09/2025 17:20

Does anyone else find this term incredibly patronising? I’ve seen it used in some ridiculous instances recently - the newly qualified driver not wanting to drive several hours away for a weeks holiday with two young DC after her DH had a drunken night being a prime example!

OP posts:
SevenSecondsAgo · 22/09/2025 17:50

Always makes me think of the song Go Big by the Mighty Mighty Boss Tones!
"Put on your big boy pants,
Tighten your grip and adjust your stance,
You may have messed around
And missed your chance."

Rosesfornoses · 22/09/2025 17:50

@Emanwenym . Mn loves to call men, Mummy's Boy' which is both infantilising and an opportunity to be condescending about another woman.

VyeBrator · 22/09/2025 17:47

Can't say I find it annoying really.

There are some incredibly wet lettuces on MN that make me seriously wonder how they get through a day.

No different to telling a man to 'grow a pair'.

Emanwenym · 22/09/2025 17:46

Oh, OK then. Thanks.

Redpeach · 22/09/2025 17:46

Emanwenym · 22/09/2025 17:44

I don't like it either, @Realhousewive . Nobody says 'Big boy pants', do they?

No they say man up

youalright · 22/09/2025 17:46

Context is everything sometimes people need to put their big girl pants on the e.g. you used is not one of them times

ElsaSnow · 22/09/2025 17:45

@Emanwenym yes I have heard people say it to men at work “put your big boy pants on James and get in there!”

ImthatBoleyngirl · 22/09/2025 17:45

I say it to myself also. I can't say it's ever offended me.

Emanwenym · 22/09/2025 17:44

I don't like it either, @Realhousewive . Nobody says 'Big boy pants', do they?

Bippybop · 22/09/2025 17:41

I say it to myself (right come bible put ya big girl pants on and deal with it) .

Then again its mumsnet we as women can not call ourselves a girls either because it goes against science apparently.

I have to laugh at some of the things i read on hear.

Holdonforsummer · 22/09/2025 17:23

It’s all about context. Sometimes it is inappropriately used: sometimes it is a polite/jokey way of telling someone they are being a ridiculous princess!

Northernlights19 · 22/09/2025 17:22

YANBU. It's a phrase which is misogynistic and infantilises women. Given that this site is predominantly women, why do some want to do that to others?