“Big girl pants, OP”

carbuncleonapigsposterior · 24/09/2025 18:16

Yes it's awful

Sharptonguedwoman · 23/09/2025 15:10

Pollqueen · 23/09/2025 14:15

I said it to myself only this morning over dealing with difficult emails after a week off work.

Note to self, must try not to be patronising and misogynistic to self

😂

IsTheRecyclingOut · 23/09/2025 15:10

Northernlights19 · 22/09/2025 17:22

YANBU. It's a phrase which is misogynistic and infantilises women. Given that this site is predominantly women, why do some want to do that to others?

Well its politer than "grow the fuck up" or "what the fuck is wrong with you, that you cannot do x y z"

Sharptonguedwoman · 23/09/2025 15:09

LittleGreenDragons · 23/09/2025 14:57

It just means "take a deep breath and get on with it, like a grown up". I say it to myself when there's a mound of confusing paperwork, or a difficult multi-lane drive, or having a horrible but needed conversation. I also say it to others who just need that little extra push to remind them that whilst something might be daunting hundreds, if not thousands, of people have already done that same thing already (and survived).

The other option would be "just fucking get on with it you muppet". I prefer the first option for others but have resorted to the second for myself on occasion 😂

Need the laughing emoji again!

Sharptonguedwoman · 23/09/2025 15:08

Realhousewive · 22/09/2025 17:20

Does anyone else find this term incredibly patronising? I’ve seen it used in some ridiculous instances recently - the newly qualified driver not wanting to drive several hours away for a weeks holiday with two young DC after her DH had a drunken night being a prime example!

Not really. I use it when I'm about to tackle something I'm completely capable of doing but don't want to. I think it's easy to take offense over not much.

LittleGreenDragons · 23/09/2025 14:57

It just means "take a deep breath and get on with it, like a grown up". I say it to myself when there's a mound of confusing paperwork, or a difficult multi-lane drive, or having a horrible but needed conversation. I also say it to others who just need that little extra push to remind them that whilst something might be daunting hundreds, if not thousands, of people have already done that same thing already (and survived).

The other option would be "just fucking get on with it you muppet". I prefer the first option for others but have resorted to the second for myself on occasion 😂

VenusClapTrap · 23/09/2025 14:28

I stopped using it when Upton did. But I think there are worse expressions.

gannett · 23/09/2025 14:22

This is like when people say "use your words!" is patronising. It's meant to be! It's used when posters are being complete wet lettuces.

When I use it to myself it's because I know I'm being a wet lettuce about something.

mathanxiety · 23/09/2025 14:22

Emanwenym · 22/09/2025 17:44

I don't like it either, @Realhousewive . Nobody says 'Big boy pants', do they?

Not pants specifically, but I've seen and heard, "You're a big boy now".

I think the OP is being precious, and so are those crying misogyny and patronisation.

Telling someone to "Pull up your big girl knickers/ pants/ panties" Is a turn of phrase implying that someone is behaving in a way unbecoming of a grown adult. It is also implying that women are completely capable of being fully grown adults and acting as such, which is the opposite of misogyny.

Pollqueen · 23/09/2025 14:15

I said it to myself only this morning over dealing with difficult emails after a week off work.

Note to self, must try not to be patronising and misogynistic to self

BadgernTheGarden · 23/09/2025 13:47

I think people use it as a humorous, not too confrontational way of saying, 'sorry this is what grown up life is like, so bloody well get on with it and stop moaning!'

JubilantGirl · 23/09/2025 13:45

ElsaSnow · 22/09/2025 17:45

@Emanwenym yes I have heard people say it to men at work “put your big boy pants on James and get in there!”

Yes I’ve also heard things very similar to this

TalulahJP · 23/09/2025 13:42

I think it’s fine. I refer to myself doing that if im facing something a bit scary! I also use Big BOY Pants as well referring to blokes, so it’s not misogynistic when I’m saying it.

Fionasapples · 23/09/2025 13:32

It's not offensive at all. I'd never use it as it sounds pathetic and makes me cringe but I wouldn't take offence if someone said it to me.

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 23/09/2025 13:29

I also hate ‘Run’ in relation to anything negative an OP might be facing,

moderate · 23/09/2025 13:26

Emanwenym · 22/09/2025 17:44

I don't like it either, @Realhousewive . Nobody says 'Big boy pants', do they?

Most expressions of toughening up are gendered masculine; this is a refreshing exception IMO.

jannier · 23/09/2025 13:22

Emanwenym · 22/09/2025 17:44

I don't like it either, @Realhousewive . Nobody says 'Big boy pants', do they?

They do, they also say Man up and boys/men don't cry as well

Harrysmummy246 · 23/09/2025 13:20

I use it. For myself. No other situation. I said it about an event in questionable conditions this Sunday past and had 'hats off to you' from a male club mate.

Emanwenym · 23/09/2025 13:19

I don't like 'big girl's blouse'.

Emanwenym · 23/09/2025 13:17

@Rosesfornoses , 'mummy's boy' sums up a sort of man though, and you also have 'daddy's girl'.

I think 'mummy's boy' is a slur on the man not his mother.

Igmum · 23/09/2025 13:07

Agree with @borntobequiet. I’m afraid this now just makes me think of trans woman (male to female) Dr Upton in the Sandie Peggie tribunal.

But then I’m old and wear Very Big Pants anyway.

borntobequiet · 22/09/2025 20:25

A singularly naff expression rather weirdly used recently in a court setting by someone who was definitely not female.

Northernlights19 · 22/09/2025 18:00

I don't think "man up" or "grow a pair" is acceptable either. I feel like grown adults should have developed the vocabulary to state their point without insults.

youalright · 22/09/2025 17:56

Redpeach · 22/09/2025 17:46

No they say man up

Show quote history

Or grow a pair

RaraRachael · 22/09/2025 17:53

I absolutely hate it

I thought it was another "Only seen on MN" until my sister used it to me.
I told her never to use that stupid expression to me ever again