Hi everyone. Long story short, as my husband would say I have a weird family. My parents were abusive. My uncle was very strange....but dont know if classed as abuse.
He used to show me lots of secually explicit videos and make me watch. Pausing parts to comment on sexual body parts etc. He would always ask me if I had a boy friend and comment on how im too ugly for a boyfriend. Ask me if I kiss boys etc. This is from every young age.
He would also speak about explicit subjects in great detail and ask me questions on it. I was very uncomfortable and hated it.
But other than being a bit inappropriate he didnt do anything wrong. We didnt see him that much but when we did see him he always made me uncomfortable.
I haven't seen him since going into care. Im pretty sure my parents told everyone I lied and that they are innocent etc.
So he has recently contacted me about my grandma being seriously ill and it may not be long I said I would like to see her and he said he would ask her. He then came back to me and said she would like to see me. (This in itself is annoying as I have seen her and had contact with her and she always wanted to speak to me so why wouldn't she now)
But fine. I asked for details so I could arrange to visit her. She has been taken in to a care home abd I dont know where as he won't tell me. I live in NI and they live in England so will need to arrange flights etc. He jyst ignored my messages and then after 3 messages came back saying he would have to check how she is.
He did this and said she is stable but any infection she gets she won't be able to fight and shes losing weight and not eating etc. I again asked for details so i can visit and he didnt reply. I messaged another 2 times (over space of maybe 5vdays) and he came back with an annoyed text asking me to leave it with him as there are other people to consider and arrangements to be made. I apologised and said I didnt realise and I will leave it with him.
Im so torn as this man was strange but didnt do much wrong. But also sided with my abusers but also maybe didnt know.
Im being formal and polite but not wanting to be over friendly. I know his mum is sick and I should probably feel compassion which I kind of do byt I also feel angry that im in this position and unable to jyst go see her as he is preventing that. I dont know. Thoughts?