DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

Weird post (no offence intended). They are happy. Would you rather they were getting off their rocker somewhere? It was different when we were younger in the 90‘s/00‘s. Young people don’t drink anymore and seem to enjoy healthy living. Let them enjoy it.

I don’t know! I’m sure someone has tried it tho!

What would you rather they go Benidorm and get drunk every night. You sound like the old person.

I mean just leave them be?
they seem happy so why on earth would you tell them how to live? It is hard to see our children make mistake but crocheting is not known to be one of these mistakes…

I suggest you go and live instead of trying to do so through your daughter. Also, don’t give her/them anymore unwanted advice…your comment will be remembered!

It may seem boring and unadventurous to the likes of us who partied, travelled, lived life to the max, but that's how they want to be.

Everyone is different, some prefer a quieter life, and they seem happy. Xx

I'm not being obtuse. You referenced the case in hand in the post I responded to.

Yes, if you want to talk about avoidance in a wider context, it isn't a good thing, no. What I'm trying to get at is why this particular lifestyle in the OP in any way points to any sort of avoidance.

That's what I'm struggling with. How a perfectly ordinary, standard life has become a red flag leading to wider discussions on avoidance.

You end by saying you like to do some of the things OP's daughter does, but you 'balance' it. I don't see OP's daughters life as 'unbalanced'.

She goes out. She works. What would make this look more 'balanced' to you? I ask that genuinely, because I am aware the point I must be missing is not that you are addressing a wider issue, but what it is about this perfectly standard lifestyle that moved you to associate it with the wider concerns I would only have thought about if the post referenced rarely leaving the house, not working, etc.

Wind up merchant alert

Me too!

I'm sure they are making more memories and enjoying life than laying stagnant on a Sunday with a hangover!

I just don’t want them to look back and regret not living a little thats all

I regret not living a little when I was younger, by that I don’t mean partying etc I mean pushing myself out of what I was comfortable with at that age. I got old quick. Now I have to wait until my kids are old enough plus there are things that just aren’t suitable anymore.

Why can't people live their lives how they want to do so?
Agree!

I think partying a waste of brain cells and an awful way to waste life, waking up with a headache for what?
Oops, your judginess and hypocrisy is showing. If people can live their lives as they want- it includes doing so in ways you find a waste/stupid.

and then the weird diversion (until we check your username) People also like to think having children young, or many of them, is a waste of life and so on,
Read any of the numerous threads on this and you will see the sharpest critics are... the adult “many of them” children. You know the ones who got to experience the sharp end of someone else’s choices, with no say, no voice, and are expected to go along with your narrative. Give me a break!

I do see what you mean. I was talking to my friend the other day. She met her husband at 19 and is now 45. She did say to me that although she's happy with her life, she wishes she'd met her husband a bit older, so she could have had a bit more fun before she settled down.

That was, however, the late 90s when things were a lot different. Young people nowadays aren't into going out drinking/clubbing, etc, like we were.

We all change as we get older - they might just do things the other way round to us!

I thought you were going to say that they were bumming around and not making anything of their lives, but it just sounds like they're content!

Why can't people live their lives how they want to do so? We all have different perspectives and priorities on how we wish to enjoy and live our lives. Personally, I think partying a waste of brain cells and an awful way to waste life, waking up with a headache for what? Walks and a nice dinner out is lovely.
People also like to think having children young, or many of them, is a waste of life and so on, and then they soon moan when they are having children later on like it selfish everyone always got something to say on other people's lives.
It's their life, not yours! Leave them to do as they wish they are being happy and responsible you sound bitter It seems.

Your daughter is a different person, with different tastes, from you. It's almost as if you're taking that as a criticism of your tastes.

She isn't wasting her life. She's doing what she wants to do.

‘Living a little’ means doing the things you love. You need to understand that not everyone loves the same things just because they happen to be in a certain age group. Lots of people don’t enjoy clubbing etc. If it’s not their thing, an evening spent clubbing just because they felt they needed to conform to your conventional stereotype of what people in their 20s are like, would be an evening wasted. Life is too short to spend it doing what other people think you should be doing.

These are grown adults you’re talking about. They know what they do and don’t enjoy. If they wanted to go out partying, they would. You don’t automatically know what’s best for them just because you’re the parent; they’re grown-ups.

Lots of young people don't drink, smoke etc. anymore - I think partly due to the cost of going out but also they're away that it's not healthy. They sound happy in their lives so leave them to it!

This is hands down one of the most unreasonable posts I’ve ever read.

Agree - the drinking/partying/clubbing lifestyle isn’t very healthy - physically or emotionally.

Lots of people who pursue this lifestyle make unhealthy and risky decisions on a weekly basis. It’s certainly not what I want for my children.

What! When I was 27 I had DC and DH and I loved going for walks, baking, spending quality time together. Nothing abnormal about this at all! They sound like they’re enjoying their lives in their 20s!

I hope this is a new post, new to this, and called a humpty when I didn't keep up with a post.

I think it's great they get on so well, not everybody wants to be out drinking and having a knees up. Be grateful for it, they sound lovely

They are living.
Not everyone is into clubbing, wasting all their money on alcohol etc.

They sound lovely and happy together.

Leave them alone 🙄

Never usually feel the need to comment, but this is outrageous. They sound like they're living the ideal life. I'll be delighted if my kids are like this in their twenties - there's FAR worse paths. I think you might be the one who needs to get a life, not them.

Whats wrong with gaming allday? If they have no kids

Im sorry op but i have to agree with the majority here. Theres nothing wrong with the hobbies they have at the age they are, if anything its rather nice to hear. Usually its people complaining of that age group being anti-social or aggresive so a change is quite refreshing. Let them have their country walks and restore furniture and if its a problem they dont go out clubbing then maybe you could go for the 3 of you to make up for it 😂

Must admit at 25 I had my own allotment garden. My favourite holiday place is wales.

Im just an older version of your daughter. We had dogs as well.