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AIBU?

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Original poster

DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

986 replies

FiddIedeedee · 22/09/2025 15:24

DD 27 and her boyfriend (also 27) are proper home bodies. All they seem to do in their free time is go for country walks with their dogs, meals out or Sunday markets 😂

When I was in my 20s I was partying, clubbing and getting up to all sorts, I fear they are wasting their youth!

Last weekend they baked cookies and went on a long country walk with the dogs with a pub lunch. DD spends a lot of time reading and crocheting bits here and there. The boyfriend has started furniture restoration as a hobby. They’re like an old couple honestly!

DD got annoyed with me because I said to them they need to be out enjoying their 20s (and soon 30s) and not acting like a couple in their 60s. DP says leave them be but I just don’t want them to regret not living life to the full. You’re a long time old as they say.

AIBU?

OP posts:
ComfortFoodCafe · 22/09/2025 15:59

Sounds lovely! Rather that than them partying & using drugs!

OutsideLookingOut · 22/09/2025 15:58

The easiest way to waste your life is doing what others expect of you and not what you want to do.

Original poster
FiddIedeedee · 22/09/2025 15:58

whatwouldlilacerullodo · 22/09/2025 15:53

It's their youth to waste. (But I agree with you. They have energy and vitality and are wasting it...)

This is what I mean. She’s got plenty of time to grow sweet peas and go for country walks. I know I’m coming off as selfish, DP said leave them be, it’s like theyre 72 not 27 where’s the energy the excitement! 😞

OP posts:
CoffeeCantata · 22/09/2025 15:58

Is this a reverse?

I’m Team DD and partner.

I hated all the rubbish you mention: parties, clubbing, drinking, even when I was young. I was never a teenager either. I went from a happy childhood to what you would consider boring adulthood without passing through the rebellious phase.

Newsflash: not everyone enjoys the same things.

Liondoesntsleepatnight · 22/09/2025 15:58

Encourage travel and becoming more worldly. I’ve genuine remorse about how money I pissed away with partying in my 20/30’s…. Should have taken up crocheting

AmberFrost · 22/09/2025 15:58

At 27 your partying days should be behind you . That’s what your late teens and early twenties are for .

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 22/09/2025 15:57

My son is 16, a real home body no interest in vaping, alcohol, girls. Yes he’s a bit younger than yours but I don’t see this changing as he’s silly sensible (maybe the girl interest will change). As he says “I’m just extending my childhood mum” and I think thats marvellous.

MightyDandelionEsq · 22/09/2025 15:57

I was like this in my 20s and settled down at a ‘younger age’ at 20. My now husband also craved a simple calmer life.

Why? Because both our mothers were a bit wild and carried on like they were teens so we craved a ‘boring life’ free of drama and chaos. Not trying to assume here OP but maybe it could be that…

Or maybe, you’re trying to recapture your youth through her.

Either way, I’m usually not nasty - but this is such a pathetic post… you sound like
you have a wonderful put together daughter who found her soul mate and you’d rather she was pissing her life away. Shes 27, not that young!

Pharazon · 22/09/2025 15:57

FiddIedeedee · 22/09/2025 15:41

Not Japan as such they just don’t seem to want to leave the country!

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Maybe they appreciate the UK, it's beautiful landscapes, history, and culture more than you do?

Summerhillsquare · 22/09/2025 15:57

FiddIedeedee · 22/09/2025 15:30

I don’t want them taking drugs and getting into trouble obviously!

This is the time they could be travelling the world and having fun but they have booked a walking holiday in the Peak District 😂

That does sound very dull, to be fair.

pointythings · 22/09/2025 15:56

They aren't boring. They're different from you. There isn't a single right way to live life. You don't come across at all well, OP.

shhblackbag · 22/09/2025 15:56

FiddIedeedee · 22/09/2025 15:47

I’m pleased she’s found someone as boring 😉 they’re definitely 2 peas in a pod!

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This is sad. Does she know you find her boring? I bet she does. Perhaps she's happy to have found someone who understands her.

FrenchandSaunders · 22/09/2025 15:56

This has to be a wind up.

Describing her and her partner as boring just because they don't spend all weekend off their tits? Bloody hell.

I've got two DCs who are very different, one was like yours, one was a party animal .... I know who I stressed out about the most!

I'm late 50s ... when I was late teens/early 20s I much preferred a nice meal and a glass of wine to clubbing!

Mysticguru · 22/09/2025 15:56

OMFG

Original poster
FiddIedeedee · 22/09/2025 15:56

crunchylamp · 22/09/2025 15:49

This

Not funny taking the piss 'light-heartedly' out of your own DD.

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I’m not taking the piss out of my DD. I don’t want her to regret not living a little.

OP posts:
BumpyaDaisyevna · 22/09/2025 15:55

Each generation finds its way to baffle and perturb the generations above. They can’t be partying and drinking as that’s what the old folk want.

Coffeeishot · 22/09/2025 15:55

FiddIedeedee · 22/09/2025 15:50

No I mean they’ve never partied. As a teenager I was hoping she’d go out and have fun instead of reading a book in her PJs in the evening. Was hoping as she neared her 30s she’d realise she’s been missing out on the world! That’s all.

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Being honest what is she missing out on ? What did you do/see that has enhanced your life.

mamagogo1 · 22/09/2025 15:55

My dd is 24 and likes long country walks and crocheting - now she also could be on the U.K. drinking teamBlush but chooses mostly to be a bit more sensible. Nothing wrong with that. By 27 I had 2 kids

outerspacepotato · 22/09/2025 15:55

You're very judgemental and mean spirited about how they live.

Maybe you set an example they don't wish to follow.

SunnyDolly · 22/09/2025 15:55

OP your daughter sounds happy, content and fulfilled - surely you can’t possibly want more than that with your child??

At 27 I was very much a party girl, riddled with anxiety from the lifestyle. I’m so glad the youth of today often go for a simpler life!

dailyconniptions · 22/09/2025 15:54

How stupid. That's all I have to say. Good on them.

seaelephant · 22/09/2025 15:54

This must be a wind-up because I don't know anyone who still regularly goes clubbing in their late 20s, I'd find that a bit tragic really. They sound like like a completely average, normal couple with average, normal hobbies.

SandyY2K · 22/09/2025 15:54

FiddIedeedee · 22/09/2025 15:28

I just don’t want them to look back and regret not living a little thats all.

Living a little, is different for different people.

They sound very compatible.

Wbeezer · 22/09/2025 15:54

You’re a bit out of touch OP, wholesome activities like growing vegetables, woodworking, baking are very big with 20 somethings online and irl, have you not heard of Cottagecore? They are picking the current trends that they fancy to follow just as you did.

NotToday1l · 22/09/2025 15:53

DrowningInSyrup · 22/09/2025 15:53

Sounds lovely, I wish I'd been that settled and comfortable at that age.

Me too