DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

God this is as frustrating as talking to my dad, who has a similar bee in his bonnet that I don't like travel. Different people like different things!!! I consider myself really lucky that I always wanted to live in London growing up and now do. I love this city and the endless things to see and do in it. And the rest of the world is great but I have no burning desire to 'live your my best life' and spend time seeing it. That might change, it might not, but he cares about that so much more than I ever will. I just smile and nod at his judgement and hope the subject changes soon.
They aren't boring. What is boring is your insistance that your way of having fun is the only fun & cool way to live. I think someone happy mooching around the garden with their person sounds far more content than someone getting off their tits to dance with strangers. And I say that as someone who's been googling day raves recently!

I agree, but I don't think you have any choice but to respect it and step back. They will make choices we, as parents, disagree and we have to accept.

But your version of “living” and theirs is completely different OP

You sound a little unbearable, she probably feels alive more than most her age that are living your weird version of the dream.

Their life sounds lovely! Leave them be.

That’s really sweet and fantastic at the tender age of 16 he’s not frightened to not be a sheep. Good that he has a great mom like you alos who recognises he’s uniquely him and not judging by societal ‘norms’.

I lived a wild wild life for the first thirty odd years as that’s what my parents role modelled. It was exciting, terrifying, chaotic , dangerous, unpredictable, often lonely, mental. I saw people die, I nearly took myself out several times. I saw people lose their minds and never come back from that.
i was hurt by so many people, especially men and taken full advantage of.
i would love to think my kids never had to feel the terror and anxiety that still haunts me today and the thought of them just living a life where they’re comfortable, cosy, enjoying nature and having someone to love them would be my absolute dream for children (and for me)

One of the best things for me about getting older is the hobbies that you've always had actually become socially acceptable :-)

I'd finished my family by 24. I have and have never had any want to travel the world. We got a camper van and toured the UK when the dc were younger. Leave them to it.

I think it's quite sad and disheartening that you call her boring. I'd hate to hear my mum referred to me that way just because I didn't act in accordance with her idea of how I should live my life. Even if you do seem to think it's all tongue-in-cheek to disparage her interests, it's probably not amusing to her or her partner.

What is it they say?

Youth is wasted on the young?

I'm much more outgoing & sociable now in my 60s.

My daughter would love to find someone who loves dogs as much as she does!.

Well clearly this type of holiday is there idea of fun.

I think you and your dd idea of how to live life are clearly different and its her life so just let it go

But she is ‘living a little’. When you were in your 20s you did exactly what you wanted to do. Now she’s in her 20s and she’s doing exactly what she wants to do.

Do you mean you want her to do exactly what you have done in your life, with your pre approved definition of ‘fun’?

Honestly - crocheting, pub dinners, walking, it all sounds heavenly!

My sister was a great party animal. Then she became addicted to alcohol and is now terminally ill with liver failure. Now that's a waste of a life OP!

I’m not surprised that your daughter is annoyed with you.

All I want for my daughter is for her to be happy, you should want the same

At 27 I wasn't "getting up to all sorts". I did that from 15-early 20s.

In my late 20s, DH and I were having dinner parties with friends (with chargers on the table and everything!), and we got our first dog when I was 25 and were very invested in raising him properly. I was a real homebody, and DH got into making bread and pasta from scratch, and doing long slow bbqs all Saturday long. We did also go out for plenty of meals and drank too much, but no "partying" to speak of.

I vividly remember the last time that I was in a club. I was 26 and thought "get me out of this god forsaken dump with its plastic glasses and sticky carpets that stink of stale piss". I vowed never to step foot in one again and stuck to my word (I'm now 41).

It never occurred to me I was wasting my "youth", and your daughter sounds totally age appropriate.

Is this the other way around and DD wants you and your DH to live it up a bit more?

You're worried she's not loving your version of living. What about what she wants?

She sounds content, happy and not afraid to do what she wants. Leave her be and take your judgy pants elsewhere.

Are they not all crocheting these days, my dd taught herself during lockdowns and she was furloughed, and shes still crocheting, they both sit in they might have friends round at the weekend but I think its a few drinks and video games rather than falling out of clubs,

Tbf i was quite wild as an older teenager/early 20aand all I remember is dangerous situations and hangovers ! It wasn't the best of life experiences.

Yeah both my kids are like this.

to be fair crocheting is wildly popular with all young adults I know.

I'm with you DP leave them be.

The thing you’re completely missing here though is that people have different personalities which defines their definition of ‘fun’. Very obviously the thought of going out to be parties is not a fun concept to her. Her fun looks like reading, country walks with her dog, baking etc. I’m not surprised she became annoyed at you because when you nag at her like this, reading between the lines, you’re essentially saying she’s living her life wrong. Which is ridiculous really. As her mum, just support her in her hobbies by showing interest rather than winding her up!

I really hate the attitude that you have to be off your face in a beach club in Bali or trekking in The Andes to be living your best life.

The UK has fantastic countryside, history, culture, food etc so WTF is wrong with them enjoying it?

Have you missed that air travel is bad for the environment? Plus there's the cost. Perhaps they're saving up for a mortgage deposit (or to overpay if they already have one) or children,financial resilience, FIRE or a big world trip when they have the money?

I'm sure they're not rolling in it so might be wanting to get into a more secure financial position. Or if they do want to go somewhere like Japan, maybe they're saving up so they can afford to really enjoy it?

Plus they have dogs so might not want to be putting them in kennels all the time? A walking and pub lunches holiday in the Peak District sounds great.