DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

What’s your problem? They are living the dream. I bet you’re a right one!

I am not convinced that everyone who loves to travel (outside of the country) are better because of this. I see how it helps many people, they broaden their understanding of the world and grow in acceptance for others, but clearly many others do not.

They sound very grounded. Seems to me they've figured out stuff it takes most of us decades to realise. Good for them.

You sound just like my mum. It’s been 3 years since I last spoke to her.

I remember having a two week holiday to Tenerife when I was 20 and was kind of over going out every night after the first week. Whereas a year earlier on a similar holiday I could have gone on all summer given half a chance! I did lots of partying in my year studying in France and also went travelling that summer. Then in my final year of university I was finally ready to work hard and get a 2.1 instead of a 2.2 that I could have just cruised along and got. So for me there was a sudden change between 21 and 22.

Met DH at 23, bought a house with him aged 26, got married at 28, had DD1 at 29. I still went out dancing (and still do aged 50) and got pissed every now and then, but together before we had kids we liked to travel, eat out, hiking, going to the cinema, theatre and exhibitions- glad we did that before we had DDs as we could still do things after but it was harder and the opportunities were fewer and far between. Now in our 50s we are doing more of that again, but the point is we still like the same things.

Different times - as they say. I felt pressure in my 20s to be out clubbing etc. My kids in their 20s are incredibly sensible and care massively about being good with money, their health, their careers. They are fabulous. I love that one of my kids has got massively into sewing and that is her go to relaxation-not hitting a bar then being knackered tomorrow. As other posters say imagine the opposite having to deal with drink and drug taking being their world. I think @FiddIedeedee you need to look at a) being proud you raised a level headed daughter and b) the world is a very different place to the 80s/90s party culture. I have a niece who does nothing but party - she is mid 30s now - no pension, no savings, massive MH issues but her Mum thinks she is really ‘cool’. Me not much so, but she is funded by incredibly wealthy grandparents who are in equal measure very loving and supportive but also despairing of her non stop need for funds - including rehab.

You wasted your youth, more like!
They are doing what they enjoy. And it’s far more valuable than getting pissed and going to grubby clubs and bars.

But maybe the DD doesn't have it in her system in the first place?

I had my ds1 at 27! No regrets at all about stopping partying in my early 20s.

Didn't you post about a dog before?

How can I encourage my children to get tattoos and piercings. I feel they are not being adventurous enough in this regard. Also they don't vape.

If this is genuine you are being unreasonable.
If this is a wind up you are being unreasonable.

HTH

They are living the way they want to. Being drunk/slutty/wrecking health etc is not something any parent should encourage their daughter towards.

So because they aren’t wasting money clubbing and sleeping around - you have a problem with their lifestyle?

Conservatism is the new counter culture. They are living their lives and being responsible.

I think you’re being ridiculous.

We can now only afford the big far away holidays in our 40’s. They are living! Just because they are drinking and clubbing doesn’t mean they aren’t living. It sounds a lovely fulfilled life.

They sound happy and content. Isn’t that what we all want for our kids?

Those fucking emojis!

I think her lifestyle sounds ideal.

I’m an introvert, I’ve never been into parties and drinking.

Also, if you call her boring and keep pushing her to do things she might not want to keep in contact.

I think the op is trying to be “wacky”, hence all the irritating 😆 emojis at the end of every judgey, boring post.

AI, you don't have any kids. You're just a machine.

exactly, not everyone wants to know their mother was an alcoholic and lose pants in her 20s and a brag about it. It is actually really shameful and low class

I love that they've found each other and a lifestyle that makes them both happy. I'm assuming their way of life is just as they like it, otherwise they'd make different choices.
Just because you made different choices and had different experiences doesn't mean what they're doing is wrong!
My mum is very much of the "if you're not doing something the way I did/think it should be done, then you're wrong". It's infuriating. I'm a very different person to her, plus times have changed. In her 20s, 30s & 40s she spent every weekend hosting/going to parties whilst I was just left to my own devices. In my 20s I partied (but to be honest would rather have been at home), but in my 30s and 40s I choose to spend all of my time with my DH & children.
Leave them to their (somewhat idyllic sounding) lifestyle choices, it doesn't affect you and if you interject your opinions you stand the liklihood of them withdrawing from your company.

In what way are they not living a little? Sounds like they have a life many dream of.

I do partly understand you OP.

I had a wild early 20s, moved abroad, then thought I was ready to settle down, came back to the uk bought a house, had a quiet life, and then covid happened and it made me realise how small my life had become in my little village at 25 years old. I realised it wasnt out of my system so I went travelling for six months and moved to London, quit my job and became self employed while I had the chance and no responsibilities.

It was great tbh, I have a baby now and have ‘properly’ settled down, i’m so glad I got it all out of my system.

Obviously different people like different things, and I dont think you should say anything to her, but i understand your view point.

I think it's lovely that your dd seems to be so happy and content with her life and not doing lots of things she may regret later just to fit in with other in thier 20s.