DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

Yes you are being unreasonable and yes, be quiet!

I was married at 27. We loved country walks, would go most weekends. Enjoyed a nice glass of wine at the weekend, enjoyed eating out and seeing our similarly like-minded friends.

First baby at 28, second at 31.

Now I’m 46 and have enjoyed my very sedate life thanks very much.

Did all the mad stuff at university. That was plenty!

You’re a long time old as they say.

No they don't. Dead. You're a long time dead, is the saying. Meaning enjoy your life to the fullest, whatever enjoyment means to you - rather than obey your mother telling you to live her version of an enjoyable life.

I am sorry that you miss your wild crazy youth, but you cannot expect your daughter to relive it for you.

You appear to be wanting to live your life through them. I have news for you. They don't want to do what you want them to do. Your idea of the life you think they should be living do not coincide with theirs. Your DD is not you. She is an individual in her own right, with different likes and dislikes, and her own opinions. She does not want to go globetrotting or clubbing.

They are both very happy as they are, so shut up, stop saying they are boring, and be happy for them.

Anyway - I call reverse.

Mind your own business! You do you as they say, and let others be themselves.

Your attitude is truly awful. 'Living a little?' How pathetic.

They sound happy and sweet together. Adorable!

Gen Xers were the last real hedonist generation. What we got up to was rarely recorded and stays a happy memory for us. Actually, if you were doing it right, you probably can't remember it all anyway.

Millennials grew up under the watchful eye of social media and camera phones, and started the NoLo (alcohol) movement (probably because they didn't want a video of them puking in a bush going viral and destroying their job chances)

Gen Z are taking it even more seriously, still. Health conscious, alcohol-free, conscientious, quality of life, mental health and wellbeing are priorities now.

You're just not keeping up with the trends for this generation!

(And yes, this Gen Xer still has a few drinks and laughs with her Gen X and some older millennial mates - although a lot of them are menopausal now and can't drink like they used to either!)

I don’t understand why you’d want someone to do something they don’t want to do. Some people just don’t want to travel. There’s plenty to see here in the UK.

Each to his / her own I say. If they're happy let them get on with it.
She may have an almighty mid life crisis in years to come and go all Patsy and Edina . For now, I'd let her live her life the way she wants.

Sounds like she's found her person. Be happy for them.

Me too 😂

You've called her boring. Twice.

I'm so pleased you're not my parent.

I think young people are different now. Partying and getting trashed is a million miles from my teens’ life at the moment.

They are happy and productive - I think it is great

No they are not wasting it. Wasting it would be doing something they didn't like. They are doing things that they like and being themselves.

They would only be wasting their youth and regretting it if they wanted to do all those things and couldn’t or they were forced to forgo them (like a teen pregnAncy). But they have choices, and they live their lives how they want. Not only are they happy, but they seem content. That’s priceless at any age. So many people (particularly young people) , seem to be chasing the next best thing, the next experience, the next thrill and never being enough or feeling that sense of contentment. That’s where regret comes in.

Imagine calling your happy, grounded daughter boring, and wishing she was out clubbing and getting wasted. How utterly sad and ridiculous.

I have no happy memories of drinking and clubbing (and hangovers) whatsoever, and did little of it after age 20.

Thing is the world is very different now, Op. When we were young the world seemed full of exciting possibilities: there were jobs, home ownership wasn’t a total pipe dream, rents were more affordable and it was relatively easy to find somewhere to rent with mates. None of that is the case any more. You see it on here, people worrying about affording a house deposit, then it’s affording mat leave, then nursery, then the mortgage going up or needing a bigger home, then it’s uni costs, then pensions, and people are always being asked why they didn’t look ahead and prepare and start saving earlier etc. Young people today have grown up hearing all this, coupled with much more awareness of the health impacts of ‘partying’ (ie drinking or drug taking), and knowing that if they leave a job / affordable rental to go traveling they could come back and not be able to find either again, or that if they go traveling it could mean they can’t afford to get on the property ladder for several more years, meaning they can’t do other things like have stability or to think about starting a family. Plus there’s the fact that it’s not an optimistic time in this country, the economy is in a bad way, the environment is in a bad way, climate change, Russia, cost of living crisis.. These are all things that make a lot of people want to hunker down and create a cosy, stable life that feels safe, rather than feeling safe to go off and explore and go wild.

Their lives sound fabulous.

I’m in my early 30’s and honestly whilst I did have quite a spectacular 20’s in terms of living the high life and going out (lived in London and works for high end company) really got very little from that other than some great stories and a deep understanding that baking cookies, going on long walks and having a pub lunch, is exactly how I want to spend my weekends. Sounds like your DD has got there early.

Well you are going by your definition of living aren't you? It might come as a suprise people can enjoy different tbings! Stop projecting what your idea of living is onto her and let her live how she chooses

You can’t re-live your life through them! Leave them be and let them enjoy their life their way! Not everyone wants ‘to get up to all sorts’ or go clubbing.

Does your DD know you think she's 'wasting her life'? Because she seems to be doing exactly what she wants to, the very definition of happiness.

Personally if my mum said something as judgemental and rude as this to me, I'd be going very low contact with immediate effect.

But you enjoy your drinks you big weirdo!!

So people can only go travelling in their youth? Sounds like they are living very healthy and fulfilling lives. They may decide to travel in the future, but maybe not to a destination of your choosing. Leave them be - you’re only going to alienate yourself if you keep up with the disapproval.

Eddie Daaahling, leave poor Saffy be and let me top up your Bolly. You are wasting your time on MN, they’re not our sort of people

You'd think!