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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

986 replies

FiddIedeedee · 22/09/2025 15:24

DD 27 and her boyfriend (also 27) are proper home bodies. All they seem to do in their free time is go for country walks with their dogs, meals out or Sunday markets 😂

When I was in my 20s I was partying, clubbing and getting up to all sorts, I fear they are wasting their youth!

Last weekend they baked cookies and went on a long country walk with the dogs with a pub lunch. DD spends a lot of time reading and crocheting bits here and there. The boyfriend has started furniture restoration as a hobby. They’re like an old couple honestly!

DD got annoyed with me because I said to them they need to be out enjoying their 20s (and soon 30s) and not acting like a couple in their 60s. DP says leave them be but I just don’t want them to regret not living life to the full. You’re a long time old as they say.

AIBU?

OP posts:
slashlover · 22/09/2025 17:25

FiddIedeedee · 22/09/2025 17:17

My friends have children all around the same age and what they’re doing and what DD is doing seems worlds apart so not sure how generational it is. Maybe more of a sub culture within a generation.

Are they happy? If yes then STFU.

ScarlettOYara · 22/09/2025 17:25

angelspike2025 · 22/09/2025 17:24

That
she’s happy and she’s healthy and has a lovely relationship which is the best things you could ever want

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Imagine having a mother that was so disappointed in you. 😥

Original poster
FiddIedeedee · 22/09/2025 17:25

ScarlettOYara · 22/09/2025 17:20

You're being very unreasonable because you have a daughter who is happy, with a boyfriend who is happy.
So many young people have anxiety or other issues, be grateful and appreciative of your situation as a parent.

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I am grateful of course I am. I love her which is why it was worrying me she is cosplaying the life of an old person.

My friends think the same by the way. They joke about it because theirs are off travelling in New Zealand or have moved to Paris or whatever and I have Barbara from The Good Life. 😂

OP posts:
Uricon2 · 22/09/2025 17:25

Edina Monsoon, welcome to Mumsnet!

TheLemonLemur · 22/09/2025 17:24

Times have changed they are happy leave them to it. I sometimes wish I had spent more of my 20s doing wholesome activities rather than being out 3 or 4 nights a week drinking making regrettable decisions!

YourRubyHiker · 22/09/2025 17:24

This has got to be a wind up? You are unhappy because your DD is not partying enough?!? I thought you were going to say taking drugs, drinking, gambling or gaming, sleeping all afternoon and not being able to hold jobs!

Why would they look back and regret it if they wanted to do that they easily could have. Not everyone likes to get wasted and dance on tables. Travelling the world is also a bit of a marmite plus very expensive. It sounds like your DD and her BF have their heads screwed on and are lovely sensible people.

angelspike2025 · 22/09/2025 17:24

Notabikerchick · 22/09/2025 16:15

It is so sad that you are so judgemental about them. You sound an absolute cow.

That
she’s happy and she’s healthy and has a lovely relationship which is the best things you could ever want

IDespairOfTheHumanRace · 22/09/2025 17:23

@OutsideLookingOut has nailed it with one simple sentence - there is nothing more to add...

CoralOP · 22/09/2025 17:23

BunnyLake · 22/09/2025 17:22

OP is probably one of those ‘I’m mad, me’ types.

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🤣🤣🤣 yes definitely!

BunnyLake · 22/09/2025 17:22

IdBeLionIfISaid · 22/09/2025 17:21

What a very odd mindset.

OP is probably one of those ‘I’m mad, me’ types.

ScarlettOYara · 22/09/2025 17:22

Doorbellsandknockers · 22/09/2025 17:20

Seriously I thought it would say they did nothing and had no jobs. This must be a joke.

Yes, from the title, I thought they had no jobs and were just bumming around. They're not!

IdBeLionIfISaid · 22/09/2025 17:21

What a very odd mindset.

BunnyLake · 22/09/2025 17:21

Are you the mother of my son’s gf? (No but you sound similar). We (my son and I) both think his gf’s mother is a jerk as she can’t accept her dd just likes a quiet life.

Applesonthelawn · 22/09/2025 17:21

Massively unreasonable. I always hated going out to "party", just because it is part of your idea of a suitably spent youth doesn't mean they have to like it too. They sound perfectly happy - good for them.

Doorbellsandknockers · 22/09/2025 17:20

Seriously I thought it would say they did nothing and had no jobs. This must be a joke.

ScarlettOYara · 22/09/2025 17:20

FiddIedeedee · 22/09/2025 17:11

Ok I think calling me a cow is a bit harsh.

I am if course glad she’s happy (and found the male version of herself!) there’s just more to life than the 5 odd miles around your house isn’t there. I know people are hanging in my comments about clubbing but it’s not just that it’s just the amount I’d seen and done by her age I just don’t want her to regret it.

And yes I have a dog but I’m old and it was a comment about his all young couples seem to have dogs and it ties them down.

Anyway I guess I’m being unreasonable so I’ll be quiet.

You're being very unreasonable because you have a daughter who is happy, with a boyfriend who is happy.
So many young people have anxiety or other issues, be grateful and appreciative of your situation as a parent.

EasternStandard · 22/09/2025 17:19

ParanoidGynodroid · 22/09/2025 17:08

Imagine calling your happy, grounded daughter boring, and wishing she was out clubbing and getting wasted. How utterly sad and ridiculous.

I have no happy memories of drinking and clubbing (and hangovers) whatsoever, and did little of it after age 20.

Agree it’s ridiculous

CoralOP · 22/09/2025 17:19

FiddIedeedee · 22/09/2025 17:11

Ok I think calling me a cow is a bit harsh.

I am if course glad she’s happy (and found the male version of herself!) there’s just more to life than the 5 odd miles around your house isn’t there. I know people are hanging in my comments about clubbing but it’s not just that it’s just the amount I’d seen and done by her age I just don’t want her to regret it.

And yes I have a dog but I’m old and it was a comment about his all young couples seem to have dogs and it ties them down.

Anyway I guess I’m being unreasonable so I’ll be quiet.

But you were being a cow 🤷‍♀️

DitzyDerbyBabe86 · 22/09/2025 17:18

FiddIedeedee · 22/09/2025 15:47

I’m pleased she’s found someone as boring 😉 they’re definitely 2 peas in a pod!

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“As boring?”
Wow, what a supportive, loving mother you’re coming across as here.

Change2banon · 22/09/2025 17:18

This reply has been deleted

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FoxyRoxyGold · 22/09/2025 17:18

You sound insufferable, to be honest. Who are you to say how they should be living their twenties and that they’ll regret it?! It’s their lives - and they seem pretty satisfied with their life choices.

Id butt out if I was you. You sound really difficult to be involved with.

six666 · 22/09/2025 17:18

FiddIedeedee · 22/09/2025 15:56

I’m not taking the piss out of my DD. I don’t want her to regret not living a little.

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It's really not what you want that matters, you are being ridiculous. Just stop complaining that you didn't get the daughter you wanted....she sounds lovely.

Original poster
FiddIedeedee · 22/09/2025 17:17

My friends have children all around the same age and what they’re doing and what DD is doing seems worlds apart so not sure how generational it is. Maybe more of a sub culture within a generation.

OP posts:
ScarlettOYara · 22/09/2025 17:16

Alittlefrustrated · 22/09/2025 17:16

I look back and wish I'd spent my 20's like that OP. They sound lovely. Hopefully they'll reap the rewards of their healthy lifestyle, physically and mentally, in years to come.
Edited for spelling

Edited

This ⬆️

Alittlefrustrated · 22/09/2025 17:16

I look back and wish I'd spent my 20's like that OP. They sound lovely. Hopefully they'll reap the rewards of their healthy lifestyle, physically and mentally, in years to come.
Edited for spelling