DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

If this is real, I can only ask are you still off your tits from a night out in the 90s?

They sound:

• healthy
• happy
• well suited
• adorable.

I'm jealous, honestly. I'm 26 and I've had no luck with finding a partner. I don't think I ever will. This sounds like my idea of heaven, a slow paced life with your life partner

DP and I call DS and his girlfriend The Hobbits. The have such a sweet home loving life. It’s not how I was at their age but they are so happy!

God you all sound horribly judgemental except in your case you're dressing it up as concern.

Newsflash. People are all different. They like different things. You had your young life, your DD and her boyfriend are living theirs. Presumeably they have the means to do these things but they choose not to because those things are not important to them. And that's FINE.

Stop measuring your DD by your own values, likes and feelings.

I'd be really upset if I found out my mum was writing like this about me.

She's 27 - old enough to know what she likes and doesn't like, and she also sounds very lucky to have found someone who loves her and loves the same things as she does.

Stop making "jokey" comments about her and leave her be. There's a huge amount to be said for a simple life.

You have a healthy, happy, grounded daughter who appears to have met someone she's really compatible with.

Sure, she's having a quieter life than perhaps you or I had at her age but it's her choice and there's nothing wrong with it.

If that's the biggest concern you have about her, life is good. Let her do what makes her happy.

As many have pointed out, they would love to be in your position.

They sound like a lovely couple. You are projecting what you enjoyed as a young woman to them. Everyone is different. I was a wife and mother in my 20’s and absolutely blissfully happy. Absolutely no regrets at all that I wasn’t travelling the world at that age.

The thing is - you and the OP find this depressing, whereas the more enlightened among us recognise that the fact that you have enjoyed your youth (and life now) is fantastic and it is also fantastic that the OPs daughter is enjoying hers the way she wants to, not following the social rules that you’ve made up. We recognise that people are different and enjoy different things and would regret different things and we want people to be happy in whatever way that suits them. It turns out the OPs youth, seeing the world and not staying home hasn’t in fact made her a better, more understanding, worldly-wise person after all… how sad for the OPs daughter and, in the end, for the OP who seems to be the main one ‘suffering’ here.

I feel the same about my adult kids, but what can you do? It's their lives.

My dd and her boyfriend are 27, they’ve been together since they met at Uni at the end of 2nd year both ‘summer babies’ so 19 at the time. They’ve done all the usual uni social stuff, moved to Australia (he’s doing a PhD). My dd now has a really good job, earning decent money, they cook, bike ride, go to Saturday markets and sight see. They are saving towards a house deposit and hope one day to get permanent Australian residency. I do not interfere in their life!

Surely most people as they edge towards 30 start to appreciate different things to when they were late teens/early 20s?

They sound as if they are a well matched creative couple who enjoy being in nature and have great quality of life.
YABU

You also sound horribly ageist which is ironic seeing as you’re likely no spring chicken!

I totally understand what you mean.

Their generation will have such long working lives, I honestly don't understand why they wouldn't want to live a little in their 20s and have more adventures, travel, take risks and generally live life to its fullest while they have their youth, health and vitality!

It's not necessarily about clubbing or partying, it's just about enjoying the freedom and energy that you only really have when you're young.

It is also a time in your life when you can make mistakes, learn and grow from them - before you have the commitments of a family, pets, steady career and a mortgage.

Obviously some people do have kids and commitments in their early 20s but if you are lucky enough to have good health, some money and no dependants .. why wouldn't you want to have a bit of excitement in your life!? I'd also find their choices baffling.

Obviously we are in the minority though 😂

It's almost as if we live in a free country and make independent choices as an adult, even if they're not the parental choices.

I wish I hadn't wasted so many days hungover!!

I was getting the Edina/Saffy vibe too.

Also, OP, if you took her all over the world travelling but not around the UK then it makes perfect sense that she wants to explore the kind of places she hasn’t already been…

Judging by your emoji use, yes a tad!

Give them a break, lots of younger generation are opting for slow living, plus there’s not the disposable income there once was. Maybe they prefer to save for the future rather than spunk it all in nightclubs?

You sound like you’re really hard work to be honest.

Yes, but that's your opinion and your choice. I have travelled a lot, my choice. We're talking about this young woman's choice.
She's not you, not me and certainly not her Mum.
Just let her be.

It's sad you view her as wasting her life because she doesn't want to drink and go clubbing.

I'm 77 and I never went to parties, clubs, foreign holidays blah, blah, blah; and I don't regret it a bit. I'm quite interested in mosses.

If you can’t comprehend that then I’ll be wasting my time even explaining 🙂

My DDs and their bfsare in their twenties and love going to the gym or out for coffee. They also watch a lot of boxsets . Elder dd loves decorating but also enjoys travelling. Younger dd likes music and gigs.

tbh I’d sooner that over going out getting hammered every weekend, being leered at and groped by creepy men. Alcohol and pubs is not the ultimate form of entertainment.

I'm 60, I'd stopped clubbing long before I was 27. Life 50 mins from London was expensive and - just like many in their 20s today - we couldn't afford a house until we were in our 30s. DHs job involved trips abroad so we sometimes took a holiday interailing type style starting from where he'd been working and therefore only needing to pay for flights for one of us. We also hiked as we do now. I don't understand why anyone would think all young people like clubbing, plus a high percentage of places one might live don't have clubs or even many pubs 🤷‍♀️

I’m aware, I’ve been. Beautiful place. But travelling while you’re young, child free and have the resources is extremely beneficial. There’s a whole world beyond the (tiny island) country that you’ve grew up in.

A lot of young people think they’re happy being stuck in a routine, but it’s not until they got older that they realise they weren’t so much happy, but comfortable, and breaking out of a pattern seemed daunting or challenging. OP doesn’t want her daughter to realise this until it’s too late. She doesn’t deserve the abuse she’s getting on here.

They are wasting their energy and their vitality, living a sedate life. It's their choice, and it has to be respected.

But this thread is hilarious. The boring brigade tearing the OP apart because how dare she not think it's lovely to live like a 70 year old when you are 20? Why are people so offended? Living a calm life is as valid as wanting to see the world, or trying new things, and parents have to respect both.

But lately it seems that the only MN approved way to live is being a homebody, having book clubs and country walks as the only source of fun, never even thinking about private schools, and god forbid you not being monogamous. All horrible, degenerate ways to live (and sex toys are also wrong. Vomit-emoji inducing wrong). But for some reason having sex without protection from the start is perfectly fine.