DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

Who says you can only be having proper fun if you’re in a nightclub or abroad?

I know, it's a lot different to our time but at the end of the day, they sound pretty happy, healthy and on track with their lives and not causing themselves or anyone else harm. Maybe you're the one who should be out partying! 😉 well done Mama, you sound like you've done a great job! 👏

But there is nothing the OP has said that suggests they aren't living life to the full and using all their youthful energy - they're just using it on walking holidays rather than bouncing around a warehouse. Different strokes.
Isn't it great that at a relatively young age they've found away of life that makes them really happy, rather than spending these years making mistakes doing things that don't, only to discover these hobbies in later life anyway?
If the DD or the BF seemed at all sad about their lives I'd absolutely agree that now is the time to shake things up a bit to find a way of life that does bring them joy, but they sound really, really happy.

If they do they can absolutely still get up to all sorts in their forties - I know plenty who do!

Since when is partying and clubbing a more worthy/ valuable use of time than hobbies, walks, good food and company?! I had my children in my twenties, I’m now in my forties and have never once wished I did more “partying and clubbing”. It’s not for everyone. I would much prefer my children to be like your daughter at that age than the alternative you are offering here!! 😵‍💫

The goal posts have dramatically changed for young people. Loads of clubs have closed down, pubs are expensive and not the social hubs they used to be (if indeed they ever were). People in their 20's these days are far more into hobbies or the gym and "clean" living than my generation. It really is a thing.

Gosh. I’m 29 and my partying days are long gone. I drank and partied in my teens. By the time I went to uni, I didn’t care for it anymore.

I much prefer eating out with my DP and friends, old films and gigs. It makes me my happiest. I bet your DD and her DP are similar…

I’d be horrified if my mother thought of me in that way…

Me too!

Now have this image of the OP in my mind…

"Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me"
Remember that song, OP?

I'm of your generation, partied hard in the 90s, and I think you're being very, very unreasonable.

Not that I'm sure that this thread is goady bollocks 🙄

Stop interfering in their life together. Sounds like you need to be occupying yourself a bit more. Go do some travelling yourself and send your dd lots of photos from your travels around the world. Maybe she’ll be tempted (or not).

OP you are really unpleasant.

I hope.your daughters sees this thread and cuts off contact with you. To sit around disparaging your daughter to your friends is abhorrent.

Sounds like you're jealous that she's enjoying herself without you.

Christ you're disgusting

What makes you think they're not enjoying life / youth / whatever? Why would they live as they do if they weren't enjoying it?

I always hated parties / clubbing. Love being nearly 50 and nobody expecting it. No regrets.

See, this doesn’t sound mean-spirited - but the ‘Barbara from the Good Life’, 72-year-olds, boring-dog-people, stuff is mean-spirited.

If you genuinely think they are fearful and hiding from something, that’s the issue to tackle. But if someone is taking up furniture-restoration as a hobby and planning holidays to explore away from where they live (even if it’s in places you wouldn’t choose), I expect they’re not hiding from anything - they’re embracing what makes them happy.

Fiddledeedee, firstly it is not your business how your daughter lives even if it distresses you.Secondly,you are being extremely ageist to assume that 60 somethings are living like your daughter or that she is acting as if she is 72! How do you know? You are absolutely steeped in stereoypes.Mumsnet doesnt care about ageism though.Words are powerful.Sixty somethings may only be staying inside because they think they should or society has said go away, you are past it.
Also the poster who said that at 27 ,party years would be over for your daughter is also ageist and its incredibly sad to hear that opinion. I do think it is sad that people no longer have many parties that are not family based as parties should go on for everyone if possible.They dont need to be drunken orgies.We ought to be able to gather and have fun in specific age groups and intergenerationally.Ive mentioned before the dancing in the square of a small spanish town I visited once,intergenerational and lovely and no p....heads,

But there may be bit of a conservative sort of streak in some young people and perhaps fear, but I think that for many of all ages now going out has become a chore and communicating with others outside family has become less relevant due to tech, covid,whatever, climate crisis.We have date night, family film night,etc bloody etc.Alsoo the baking and woodwork skills is great in many ways, travelling is expensive and doesnt always broaden the mind when its turned into insta milestones.On the other hand I sort of get what Fiddledeedee is saying but best to leave well alone.

This is the weirdest post. OP has a daughter with a compatible partner and they live a happy life doing what they like best. Either it isn't serious, or the OP has difficulty in imagining that there are different strokes for different folks!

Your idea of "living life" isn't a universal truth, though.

A lot of the things you describe sound like absolute hell to me. Maybe your DD is the same.

When I was at university - shock, horror - in 1999, I felt obliged to go clubbing, get drunk, be more outgoing. I think it made me come out of my shell a lot, but it wasn't actually truly "me".

I remember my friends wanting to go to the student union dance and R&B nights, but I'd rather have gone out on an indie music night. Confidence comes from doing what makes you happy, enjoying how you spend your time, but not caring what anyone else thinks.

Your DD sounds like she's obviously content, being happy with her boyfriend, and doing the things she loves. She's far better being able to enjoy herself, be healthy, and not be a worry. Surely that's to be celebrated?

My parents had the total opposite with my late brother, who was a drug user, and angry young man. They'd have loved it if he'd been an "insular" homebird.

You've been told the same thing so many times now which is basically a lot of people think their lifestyle sounds lovely and you have to let them decide on their own version of contentment even if it seems too safe and boring to you.

However, I do understand a bit on where you're coming from. I can think of people who have stayed in the boring town I grew up in all their lives, even a trip to London would be a big adventure. I have moved around a lot, tried different things and travelled widely but I'm not necessarily happier than them. I wanted to experience more of the world like you, I suppose. Life is for living and do stuff whilst you're young and energetic? Yep, to some extent. Perhaps they'll get to Japan one day.

That sounds so wholesome and like a lovely calm life

I love this! My partner and I are definitely Hobbits (although he'd probably be happier to be described as a dwarf) and I always think of Bilbo's words in the movie “It’s no bad thing to celebrate a simple life”.

OMG. Grow up. They sound normal and charming

I don't think any parent will 100% agree with every life choice their DCs make. I know I don't with my two! But it's their choice and their life. I had a young life like your DD, I didn't go out much and loved creating a home and had my first DC when I was 25. I definitely don't regret it. Country walks, crafts and spending time with people/the person you love the most can never be wasted time. Leave her be.