DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

I’m not sure this can be real and anyone would be so short sighted? Interesting you think they are not having fun because it isn’t what you found fun at their age. People can be different and unless they are unhappy, why would you not be simply happy for them?

I can't believe how bitchy and judgemental you are being about your own daughter.You sound like a Mean Girl but about your own child.

I agree OP, there’s a life time of sitting in ahead. I’m younger than you, but their life is how I imagine (someone else’s) retirement. But different strokes and all that. Sounds like she’s happy.

That sounds a lovely way to spend their free time. And in all honesty 27 is quite old to be out clubbing these days. For my age group (I'm 33 now) clubs were more for when you were 17/18 and early twenties, later twenties were more pubs & drinks at someone's house. I had some great times, but also did some fairly questionable things when I was younger and out drinking too much so I wouldn't necessarily say its a bad thing that they aren't!

I’m a homebody and similarly, would consider the way you lived your twenties as a complete waste of time.

I would feel the same. It’s just that you can live their life style when elderly seems a shame not to do abit more when you are young and gorgeous and have the energy.

Well, your DD has definitely succeeded in rebelling against her mother's expectations so you should admire her for being her own person!

Hopefully she has a long life ahead of her and can do lots of travelling and adventures in years to come if she decides she wants to. The jobs market is so hard for young people, and everything is so expensive, that I totally get why cosiness and security feels attractive right now.

Does you DP laugh at your daughter like your friends apparently do?

Op you sound a horrible person. I can't believe you're so closed minded that the only way to have fun in your eyes is to go and get involved in 'the party scene'. I'm 28, have never been into all that and I have a lovely life, thanks. Your poor daughter, does she know you're online describing her as boring and implying that she should get a life?

Maybe you're the one who needs to get a life.

But they ARE living and experiencing life, just the life they want, not the one you want for them. You are not the same people. Why should they travel and go clubbing etc if that's not what they enjoy? Time spent doing that would be a waste to them and maybe they'd end up regretting wasting their time on those things rather than spending it doing what they enjoy - reading books, going on walks etc. They're not boring, they just enjoy different things. What a horrible sneery attitude you have towards them.

They sound lovely, can I be your daughter’s friend? In all seriousness, you need to chill out and get some perspective, your daughter is happy and healthy and has positive hobbies that are good for her mental health. She has a partner who seems similar and it appears they have a loving relationship. They appear to be able to competently care for a pet. Most parents would be delighted to know their young adults were happy and settled.

In my 20s I only went clubbing and partying because it was somehow expected, I never really enjoyed it. Country walks and crafts would have been more my bag.

But ultimately it doesn't mean I have missed out on seeing the world. DH and I have travelled extensively in Europe over the years and now we are retired we have the time and money to travel even further afield. We went to NZ this year and next year is China. You don't have to do it all when you are young.

Also long walks in the Peak District sounds brilliant and they can probably cover much more ground in a day at 27 than they will at 57.

I hope that my young relatives find “boring” young men to spend their lives with because the dating world for young women seems quite scary now.

You just sound really unkind. If you miss your youth maybe go out and relive it, instead of hoping to do so vicariously through your DD. Who the fuck decides how well a life is lived?

Is this a stealth boast about how lovely and well adjusted your DD IS?

You sound as though you envy them their youth, which is fair enough I suppose.

What isn't fair is whining because they're making different choices to the ones you did.

She's not you! Accept that she is her own person.

They would be wasting their lives, health and money if they went out partying all the time. They sound lovely and really know what they like, I would be really proud.
Hiking is fantastic, you should try it.

They won’t.

Not every young person wants to live like you did when you were young. What you consider fun is very boring to some people. Me included. When I was young I was mocked because I didn’t drink, presumably by people like you. Leave people to enjoy their lives in the way they want to.

For goodness sake, I don't know if it is because it's Monday but some of these responses are so scornful and serious.

I understand what you are saying OP, though if it isn't taken in jest by your DD then definitely stop. I joke with my own young adult DD, who recently went to Amsterdam for a week. She didn't see the outside of a club or as much as a single special brownie 😂

It was all about the architecture and the meals out, bike riding etc. I did the same trip at her age and remember very very little, but we laugh about it. I do think there is a generational shift with Gen X and their Gen Z children, and how they view their youth and time spent while still being young and carefree.

In my case and that of my friends, it is only ever said in good spirits. Whilst we jest about their smoothies and hiking obsessions, they eye roll and rib us about our wine consumption 90's nostalgia trips.

Times have definitely changed, and that appetite for hedonism and travel isn't the same, isn't seen as a rite of passage as it was for people in the 90's.
I will concede (and have told her) that I am relieved my elder DD is eminently more sensible than I ever was at her age. I secretly hope the same for the younger one too.

Exactly - and feeling embarrassed by her when talking to your friends.
You might say you're going to be quiet @FiddIedeedee ,but I doubt it will alter how you think or deepen your understanding. It's sad that you think your daughter is embarrassing when she's achieved fulfilment and contentment.

There's a huge difference between saying something yourself and having other people saying it, though.