DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

They’re living their lives. Stop trying to relive your youth through them!

You sound more boring than your daughter OP! Let her enjoy her life :)

Are you embarrassed that your DD isn't wild or adventurous like your friends' children?

Surely the main wish of good parents is for their children to be happy and your DD is obviously happy with the life that she has with her partner. Why can't you be happy for her?

There are so many stories on here of young lives going wrong, thank your lucky stars for this young couple who seem to have their lives sussed. If they are happy and settled then you've done a good job, don't ask for anything more

Well they are living ! A very happy life by the sound of it. My oldest friend was like this in her twenties with her DH. They are still (decades later) blissfully happy together.

They sound fantastic! What great hobbies; furniture restoration sounds especially fascinating, and I crochet myself. I do like holidays in Europe, but there's so much of the UK I'd love to see and haven't yet, it sounds like they have some great plans. From everything you've said they seem like the kind of people I'd love to be around! I bet they have some great stories from their walking trips, and I love to hear about what people are growing in the garden, their latest antique store finds, and what they've enjoyed reading lately. I don't drink either, and I'm in my mid-late twenties. Never enjoyed clubbing in the slightest so I spent most of my free time during university hopping on the train to new towns and villages, or wandering parks and nature reserves with my friends. I don't drink, either, so you'd find me absolutely mind-numbing from the sounds of it.

Honestly, this is a problem with you and not with them. There's no shame in knowing what you like and having your life together, I expect you'd find they\re happier than most people their age. I certainly hope you haven't expressed any of this to the two of them.

They ARE living.
Just not in a way that suits you or would have suited you.

You're very small minded.

Baking, restoring furniture, country walks, are so much more enriching for the soul than going to a bloody party or club and drinking.

Sounds like Edina and Saffy.

Seriously, leave them be, they want their life not yours.

I would also find it odd that they didn't want to explore/travel or socialise more but I did have quite a few friends at uni who were like that. Their ideal Saturday was walking with their binoculars for the birds.

Different people have different passions OP maybe buy them some binoculars and a bird book for their walks?!

Sorry to be one of those annoying posters who quotes the whole post but you are being very unreasonable.

At first I thought this was some 'spoof' post.

But no- you're actually serious 😂

Their lives sound lovely.

I gave up 'clubbing' (it was called going to discos in my youth) when I was 20.
After that I had steady boyfriends/ relationships.
Weekends at home, going out to dinner, meeting friends for a quiet drink.

How pleased I was to see the end of 'partying'!

Sounds like my dream life tbh. Good for them.

At 27 I was living in a commune in the US and having the time of my life working casual seasonal jobs, travelling, living out of a rucksack and being completely irresponsible — but I’m not your daughter. It’s not compulsory to do your 20s the way I did.

Calling your dd and her partner boring is nasty. Maybe you think you’re endearingly wacky and amusing but this is at the expense of someone you’re supposed to love unconditionally. If someone else was talking about her like you are, I would expect you to step in and defend her choices, not start a pile on of your own. That’s really not how mums are supposed to operate.

I get what you're saying, OP. Everything gets boring eventually and if they're doing the retirement stuff now, will they regret not getting out there more in their youth?
My parents have a friend who just hit that point at 67. After raising her family and only enjoying wholesome pursuits all her life (she's a very wealthy retired doctor) she's now left her husband, discovered make-up and alcohol and is looking for fun at every turn. She's disgusted she didn't get out there more in her youth and is determined to make up for lost time.

You called your daughter boring! I suppose you’re the toast of everywhere you go though and everyone just delights in your company.

Just to throw in a different perspective…….

DH and I bought our first house at 18, got married at 23 and had DS when I was 27 so we didn’t really do the whole partying and travelling in our youth thing because we didn’t have the spare cash.

HOWEVER….. we’re now in our 40s, DS is almost 18, we have really well paid jobs and no mortgage or debts.

We basically have a load of disposal income and are using that to travel and live it up now!

I wouldn’t have it the other way round, travelling on a budget in my youth and paying my mortgage into retirement? No thanks not when I can travel in luxury and buy lots of nice things (looking at you mid-life crisis hobby!) now ☺️

Nothing wrong with contentment. You should be pleased she's found her thing.

If they wanted to get shitfaced and go clubbing they would. They don't.

You really are not helping yourself, she has found someone she is compatible with, enjoying their life with their dog and a few friends, .do you see it as If you have "failed " im not having a go but you seem really dissapointed how shes turned out and you might think that is a reflection on you.

There is every chance they are both hiding from life. I am early 30s, not much older than your daughter and up until 26 I very much lived like her. I was in a long term relationship and we used each other as a comfort blanket. We never ventured despite having the independence and money to do so. We did the same thing for every day of each week, we had a strict routine. If you ask me at the time, I would have said I was happy. But now I am older, in hindsight I was not happy, I just thought life sufficed.

When I broke out of that patterned, I started travelling, I have now been to 19 countries in 6 years, and have move from my home country to London. I regret not living sooner.

What you are fearful for your daughter is understandable as it does happen, like to me. I hope she does not come to regret when she is a middle aged lady. Maybe she will stay with this man until her 70s and she looks back with no regret, in which case I’m sure you will be happy for her and no harm done. But with the opportunities available for young people these days, it could be unlikely.

All my adult DC would choose long hikes, the gym, cooking up healthy foods, and spending time in nature or with animals, over clubbing. They drink very moderately, and eat cleanly and think the weekend is a time to recover from and prepare for a week of hard work. It's seems to be working great for them tbf.

Yes, surely that's limiting, but in a different way?

Edie and Saffy did come to mind 😁

Why would a couple in their late twenties want to even go clubbing? Surely it’s the sort of thing you do in your late teens/uni years or if you’re casting your net looking for a partner.

Eddie, is that you, Darling?

You were hoping as she neared her 30s she would look back and feel regret about her choices? What the fuck

Maybe try appreciating the daughter you have, eh?