DD and boyfriend are wasting their lives

I was always led to believe that travel expanded the mind and was a very worthwhile pursuit (enjoyable too). You can practice using languages you have learnt, explore different cultures and learn more about yourself in the process. However it seems to have evolved that now we think everyone should be doing it whether they enjoy it or reap any benefit from it whatsoever!

Gosh, I was long done clubbing by 27!

This. I think there are probably thousands of us who went clubbing in our early twenties, simply out of fear of being called boring otherwise, who would have far rather been doing what the ops dd is. Good for her I think.

This was me twenty plus years ago. Im
a home body, I do not like being out and about partying all the time. She’s obviously very happy so you should be too!

It doesn't really matter what you say or think, they have to work it out for themselves. They sound like good kids, don't worry about it and definitely dont mention it. You risk upsetting them entirely unnecessarily.

You’re only wasting your life if you spend it doing things you don’t want to do with people who don’t appreciate you!

I think OP forgets that at the time her daughter “should” have been off doing those trips and clubbing nights, we were hit by Covid. We were forced to slow down and for a lot of us, it turned out we really liked that lifestyle.

This, x 💯

I’d sort of get where you were coming from if they were 19….. but they’re 27!!! Absolutely normal to be married with kids and homeowners at that age.
there are so many different way to live your life. And many of us are lucky enough to get to choose.
what’s so beneficial about pouring vodka in your eyes and throwing up a takeaway pizza behind a bus stop anyway? I’d take crocheting anyday.

For me, I went clubbing during university then I graduated at which point the pandemic happened. So that literally killed any further desire I had to go clubbing.

But even when I did go clubbing, looking back I hated it. The pressure to look sexy, spend ages on hair/makeup, spending loads of money on taxis/travel/drinks, trying to dodge perverts and trying to make sure you/your friends don’t get spiked, trying to get home safely at ridiculous hours and not get in danger en route, trying to not be photographed in an embarrassing manner and not get those images posted on social media for the regret the next day. Like looking back I had some fun days but honestly life is so much easier not going clubbing. Like I have so much extra headspace. I like music, dancing, looking good. But I’m totally fine with just going out for dinner and calling it at 9pm instead of partying all night.

This and also the age of the op. It’s strange to get to an age where you have a 27 yr old daughter and to not have learnt yet, and still don’t get it after umpteen people point it out, that different people enjoy different things.

Ffs. They ARE living. They sound lovely and very well matched. You are being so unreasonable it’s ridiculous. How awful of you to be so disparaging of the way they live their lives.

Personally I think more people should be having children in their late 20’s/early 30’s rather than this generation of people who are now waiting till their in their late 30’s/early 40’s.

My personal view is that having children that much older is in fact damaging to our society, not now, but future generations.

We are entering a world where we are going to end up with a grandparent less generation, where family has become obsolete because children are born to parents in their 40’s who were born to parents in their 40’s who are now either too old or dead and so those children will never know that generation, their family will end with their parents. And I’m not sure that’s healthy.

Added to which we are increasing the number of children with disabilities due to the risks of having children later in life, as well as the amount of infertility and need for powerful fertility drugs with both physical and emotional outcomes.

But hey far better to wait and go out getting pissed instead.

I was married with a mortgage at 25 and had my first child at 28.

The fact is a lot of people can’t afford to travel any more because of the cost, and tbh it’s a bloody faff to have to fly these days, plus the impact on the environment.

But someone describing a couple in their late twenties who are actually behaving perfectly normally as pathetic because they’re not out nightclubbing is incredibly pathetic and says far more about you than it does about them.

I suspect you’re at a point where you don’t want to admit that you have adult children who are almost in their 30’s, so you’d prefer for them to behave like teenagers.

Trust me going out clubbing and getting pissed really isn’t the norm in your late twenties.

I agree, although it does seem partly about those friends with DC travelling to NZ, so maybe there's a feeling of competition there as well?.
She's embarrassed by her own daughter's life.

This! I am so surprised that well travelled people of the world don't understand or accept people are different and like different things.

Funny I just commented this to my husband how happy we are dd and her boyfriend love country side and home cooking etc. They only go clubbing for birthdays or special events, they like occasional drink but definitely more healthier than we are.

The idea of a life is to get drunk is usually came from the middle aged groups.

Super unreasonable. Leave them be, their life sounds great. I wish I hadn’t spent so much time “partying” in my 20s and had learnt what really made me happy

You’re mad to be annoyed at this. They’re adults and well aware they could be vomiting and hung over after partying in some awful nightclub. I never liked clubbing. It was hell in my 20s and thankfully not something I have to endure now.

Of all the issues parents can have with grown up children this isn’t one.

You are very out of touch with what young people are like! Staying home is much more common than all the crap we got up to as youngsters.

Don't fret, OP. I expect that your grandchildren will go completely off the rails and in 15-20 years time your daughter will be on here bemoaning that. And when she and her boyfriend (by that time husband) are in their 60s and their kids have left home, they'll cry "Oh well, what the hell!" and go off and spend all their money travelling the world, before settling down to a live in a yurt in Tierra del Fuego.

My husband and I are very similar. We went on holiday at 21 to Yorkshire for a walking holiday it was lovely. I was growing my own veg and flowers from 14 years old and I'm still growing them at 33. We don't drink. We have plenty of fun for us. We still have time to travel more but our passions in life will never be alcohol and partying.

I have distanced myself from family who enjoyed "banter" of how boring I am or im an old lady. It became very very boring for me.

You might also not know everything about them for all you know behind close doors they are up to all sorts but aren't going to tell you. Even if they aren't they sound very happy.

There’s no age limit on travelling though is there. If she suddenly has an identity crisis or itchy feet in 10, 20, 30 years, she can go travelling then. Yes she may have kids or not be with the same partner but there’s still ways to do and experience things.

You’re saying this is about your feelings of worry for here but more than anything you seem a bit embarrassed by her.

I think OP is just having a hard time digesting that what she thinks is cool, is not what young people think is cool. Maybe it makes her feel insecure about her own life choices or about her age. I guess many older people told themselves that vomiting in magaluf (or whatever) was a right of passage - and are shocked that actually they didn’t need to do any of that, and that today’s young people are rejecting that lifestyle.

This isn’t about your daughter is it. Your having a mid life crisis and wanting you’re youth back. If not you are totally unreasonable. I’m glad you aren’t my mum. You laughing at her wanting a Peak District holiday and wanting to stay in with her husband is disgraceful. What do you want her to do, get drunk till she has no idea where she is and then have a raging hangover the next day. That’s no life. She isn’t wasting her life away at all. She is living it her way not partying. At 27 most women have settled down not going clubbing. I suggest you get therapy before you push your daughter away

And? I'm 40. Got engaged at 20, bought a house at 22, married at 24. Baby at 28. Everyone's timeline is different. Not everyone is in to clubbing and travelling